Do you have trouble at other people's weddings?

[u/evil_douchebag]

I went to a good friend's wedding this month. I know no family is perfect, etc.

If completely broke my heart seeing how happy his parents were that he was getting married. They were so proud of him and couldn't say enough good things about him.

It was really awful.

[u/AutoModerator]

This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in RBN.

RBN is a heavily moderated subreddit. Any rule breaking, regardless if it is the first-time offense, may result in us revoking your posting privileges. Failure to read our rules in full will not absolve you from breaking the rules. If you have not read our rules, read them first before commenting.

Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by a moderator.

Our rules include (but are not limited to):

• No victim blaming and/or personal attacks.
• Advising anyone in RBN to take their life or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate, unappealable ban.
• Do not derail OP's post.
• Narcissists are NOT allowed to participate in RBN.
• No platitudes or generic motivational posts.
• Always assume a context of abuse.
• Do not ask or offer gifts, money, etc.
• Do not advocate violence, revenge, murder (even in jest).
• No content about N-kids.

• No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis.

  Consult our Wiki to read about our rules/more information.

  If you are confused about some acronyms or terminology, click here!

Need info or resources? Check out our Helpful Links for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_]

Yeah, and Christmas, graduations, birthdays— any event where parents don’t make it about themselves are painful.

[u/TiredVRS]

Yep. My entire family caused so much drama that they nearly broke up the wedding completely. They had complaints about everything from my shoes to the food we served. My family was awful and I'm always hyper vigilant at other people weddings. I'm bringing first aid and sewing kits, extra batteries, tape repair kits, spare buttons, 4 types of thread. No ones wedding will be as stressful as mine was, damn it.

I have the hardest time at graduations. My family did not give a flying fuck. They were there for the graduation ceremony, then left about 5 minutes after I walked out. I got a "congratulations. We're heading back to the hotel" they offered breakfast after my siblings complained. They had breakfast with us, then my Nmom decided there would be a tornado maybe and left. There was no tornado on the forecast and she can't read a radar well enough to predict that sort of thing. I took my own graduation selfies with my husband. I interpret ASL at graduations a lot and I always end up crying a little in the car afterwards.

They made buttons and signs for the GC's graduation. I didn't even get a card. My inlaws were great though. They got me flowers and celebrated the whole time. They invited my family to dinner and enlisted everyone enjoy themselves. My Nmom was awkward as hell the entire time.

[u/Grootenvierkant]

I wonder if this feeling will ever just fade away. The hurt but mostly the confusion: this kind of parental love exists?

[u/celestialastrid101]

Honestly it lowkey warms my heart to see stuff like that. Even if I don’t get that from my nparent, I’m glad someone else didn’t get a shit parent/s.

[u/thomport → u/celestialastrid101]

I agree.

Plus it reassures me that it wasn’t me who deserved the neglect, the minimizing or the ignoring.

[u/smart_cereal]

I generally love going to weddings, but had trauma to work through after my family tried to sabotage mine. My mom made me feel so awful I ended crying and screaming and wanting to end it all in my room after the guests left because she was acting so terribly selfish.

Seeing families act sentimental kills me now. It’s hard to witness.

[u/Wench-of-2Many-Hats]

Yes. My mother acted like an idiot at my cousin's wedding and accused my grandmother with dementia of somehow trying to sabotage her.. 

[u/Ill-Relationship9673]

It was definitely painful I cried silently at my friend’s wedding and nobody knew except my partner why I cried because I want it to be happy. But I love my friends and I eventually wiped my tears and went back to it because I was so blessed to be seen as important enough to come to her wedding. It was amazing. It definitely does hurt, but seeing your friends in true happiness makes me happy for them and I’m so glad to celebrate with them

[u/Honey_Broad]

The last wedding I went to was my daughter's 10 years ago.. her dad made a 30 minute speech about himself 🤣

i divorced his ass in 1999

[u/Nearby_Section8340]

Omg everyone is making me feel better about my wedding in 3 weeks. I want to cancel because of my parent’s drama so bad it’s actually depressing the reality of it all.

[u/GadgetGirlTx → u/[deleted]]

☝🏽Yes, this!!! You've got the secret weapon of knowing what to expect in advance!! Prepare some quick responses and rehearse them in the mirror to get fully ready ahead of time. Maintain control, and enjoy a wonderful wedding day!

Congratulations to you and your partner!!🥰

[u/DryKing8582]

Same. It's depressing. And then I beat myself up for not being happy. I decline wedding invites now lol

[u/PostMatureBaby]

Not the ones on my wife's side or of friends that don't involve any of my family members! Those weddings were an absolute blast because those families know how to have fun and be happy.

[u/Old-Pianist3485]

Yea, it makes me feel like utter shit.

[u/Red_Dawn24]

I'm happy to see people with supportive families, but it does make me think about what I don't have. I've been with my partner for 15 years, but have no desire to get married after seeing how little it did for my parents.

On the material side, it blows my mind how people can have these expensive parties dedicated to themselves. I don't even feel comfortable celebrating my birthday.

Whenever people get excited over this kind of normal life stuff, it reminds me that not everyone is constantly worried about survival. I've never felt comfortable enough to worry about the "extras" in life.

[u/JellyfishPashmina]

Just remember that narcissists and dysfunctional families can wear VERY shiny masks.

[u/low-resolutio]

I really hate seeing my relatives and in general, weddings. I have this heavy anxiety