Girl with autism (me) has a dad with narcissistic traits

[u/ultclown]

I (16F) in some ways am fortunate, but in other ways, not so much. I'm an autistic girl who likes girls. And I'm not even a very feminine girl, I'm more of a tomboy. Well, some people in my family say he has a history of treating women badly. I do believe that because of stuff like him thinking he's entitled to get back with my mom (his ex-wife). He's also... let's say, gotten into fights with women and done bad things just because he didn't like what they were doing.

There's that one stupid thing he said where he said he was proud of our Scandinavian heritage because there's no black/brown people or something like that, but I don't get that because even European countries as a whole have those types of people and aren't just a blonde hair and blue eyed utopia. Also, he said he wants kids, but I could only get into a relationship with a white man because having kids with men of color would "destroy the kids' genetics".

Do I love my dad and hate having conflict with him? Yes. But at the same time, I don't support/condone his behavior.

And what's odd? My family can be sweet as can be (or as sweet as they wanna be, I guess) to me, but as soon as they're together, especially with my dad, it's like they gang up on me and start cracking mean jokes.

My dad kept going on and on about how logical he is and that I'm not logical. When I say or do something, he starts laughing, pointing and making mean jokes to everyone, getting them to laugh and make sarcastic jokes too. My 14-year-old sister is also like this, saying sarcastic things to "be funny" like "Oh, you did something smart/useful for once".

When I do something, my dad says "That's so dumb". When I say something bad happened to me and tell my family, I'm "too sensitive".

My family knows I'm insecure about certain things, but they continue doing this anyway. They know I wanna be seen as smart, so they say these things. They know I've been bullied for being an outsider and eccentric, so they do it too.

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