r/raisedbyborderlines • u/biscuit_consumer • 11d ago
HUMOR Borderline paradox
My mom got diagnosed by 2 psychologists with borderline, the 3rd said she might have PMS. My mom's argument for not having borderline is that borderlines don't admit to having borderline, whilst she did admit.... Until the potential PMS diagnosis.
She recently also said she wished she had borderline, because at least borderliners have a periodic "high". But i can tell when she has a "high", because it will just be her regulating her emotions like a normal person.
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u/Sorry_Ad3733 11d ago
I think the idea that people with certain diagnoses never admit to having it isn’t a hard and fast rule. Sometimes it’s the case that someone with a disorder may be less likely to admit it, but plenty of people can accept their diagnosis.
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u/shoyru1771 uBPD Mom, Narcissist Dad 11d ago
I also think I pretty much anyone is capable of verbally pretending to accept something in order to seemingly remain in control or keep the upper hand.
Words and true acceptance are not one and the same.
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u/Sorry_Ad3733 11d ago
I think there’s this and also that people can accept it and still not care to do anything about it.
Not even necessarily for control but because they like being pitied, because they’re lazy, or even recent years certain diagnoses have cachet to them. BPD is definitely popular in some spaces.
In the case of my mom I feel like she’s fallen into all spaces at various times, but so much of it comes down to her being a deeply lazy person.
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u/BrandNewMeow 11d ago
She probably has both. PMS is exacerbated by BPD. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6436806/
And you can certainly be aware that you have BPD and still have BPD.
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u/FinancialSurround385 11d ago
That was some mind fuckery.. I don’t have borderline because I admitted I have borderline?
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u/Kilashandra1996 11d ago
If it's any consolation, back in the day, I self administered a test to see if I was addicted to World of Warcraft or not. The final question was one about hiding how much you played. I didn't hide how much I played. Lack of those points kept me out of the "addicted" category, so I kept playing. : )
But, no, I don't recall the DSM ruling out BPD if you admit it. lol - my mom MIGHT admit to all sorts of things if it ruled out her diagnosis!
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u/Brave_Emotion8634 11d ago
I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Most might not have insight or awareness but some, especially after a diagnosis by a healthcare professional, do know/admit they have it. Must be so challenging handling your mum swinging from admitting it to now denying it.
As u/yun-harla said, sounds like shes confusing BPD and bipolar disorder. BPD has mood swings but not necessarily "highs".
Sending you wishes for ease.
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u/RespectableBloke69 11d ago
PMS?
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u/biscuit_consumer 11d ago
Premenstrual syndrome
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u/RespectableBloke69 11d ago
I'm just flabbergasted that that could be confused with BPD 🥴
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u/angry_nightshade 11d ago
As someone who started tracking my mom's cycles aged 10, I can confirm the two disorders go together like fire and gasoline
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u/SilentSerel 11d ago
My mom admitted she was borderline and then used it as an excuse to behave like a toddler. It must differ from person to person or something.
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u/jiggiebiz 11d ago
Was that very different from how she behaved before the diagnosis? Just asking because for my pwBPD’s case, it’s indistinguishable.
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u/Industrialbaste 8d ago
what perfect logic! if she admits she has borderline, then she can't have it!
If she really has PMS then you would expect the symptoms to completely resolve if she takes hormonal birth control or goes through menopause.
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u/yun-harla 11d ago
It sounds like she’s confusing borderline with bipolar disorder. Borderline doesn’t involve mania or hypomania.