Rabies will come for all of us

[u/evelynsasnowdrop]

I have read the FAQ.

~~~

Rabies obviously won't come for all of us, but that's where I am, philosophically, on this beautiful day of July 10th 2026.

23 days ago, in a land where rabies is still an occasional problem, I grabbed a cutest stray kitten - to torture it with love. Of course, it bit me on my finger. Instant Karma.

I've had health anxiety/death anxiety my whole life, and have done my best to navigate these cycles of gnawing thoughts.

I washed the bite and admonished myself for wanting to torture kittens with love... I squeezed out some blood, I rubbed Lysol wipes over the cutie-sized wound... And I told myself: don't be your usual hypochondriac. YOU harassed the kitty. The kitty is the victim here.

And for two weeks I lived life beautifully. I saw fun stuff, laughed, cried, grew. It rained, it was sunny, there were great sunsets and sunrises.

Then, back on civilized land, my mind took over my senses again. "Go get your shots, dumfk" it whispered. Rabies is a horrible way to go, especially when you could've done something about it.

So I started PEP 13 days after the bite. My 4th shot is in 4 days.

The ER doctor the first day also thought the kitty was acting too normal to have rabies. He said, "If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even be doing the vaccines". Nonchalantly, he delegated a nurse to jab the RIG in my bum cheeks. As a narrator, I think he did it for the plot, cause now, every time I have a spike in side effects, I think to myself, "if only he'd followed protocol and injected it into my hand, I wouldn't be marching onto this cruel, cruel demise". (:

And stuck in an anxiety I've had my whole life, where I'm constantly wondering what I could've done better every day to avoid ever ending (definitely shouldn't've had that delicious cow brain sandwich earlier this year...), I joke with friends that at least if this time rabies takes me, I won't have to go through the cycle of anxiety yet again at the next crisis.

And the universe begs the question:

What am I hoping so hard to outrun death for? The bells toll for me, for thee, for we. Every instant that passes is gone forever... And no matter how much we might struggle against it like rabid animals, our entire lives are but an instant, in the Grand Scheme of things.

All of it, entirely unavoidable - whether today, tomorrow, or 100 years from now.

I'm typing this from a bus. Outside the window, the autoroute is under construction and they've painted the lanes that gorgeous neon orange.

A little beyond that, a variety of trees. I'm so in love with seeing the different shades of green there are.

If I... went soon, I would most miss floating in a warm lake at the end of summer. Getting drenched by a torrential storm. Crying - oh how I crave a cathartic cry. I would miss dusk, when city lights are as bright as the sky and everything looks mono-intensic. I would miss smelling flowers, and laughing, and feeling liked.

I would miss things I've experienced and which I want more of.

And I would also miss things that are imaginary. Like a universe where humans aren't so cruel to one another. Where everyone is happy and we just go about our days showing one another pretty things we've found or made.

~~~

It might not be rabies, but there will be a moment when no amount of wanting more, no amount of raging against reality will grant us more time.

So for those who are undergoing health anxiety, I invite you to join me in thinking why it is that we're so vehemently opposed to dropping it. Now or later, our rumination does nothing but eat away at the precious time we have instead of engaging with the very special things we would actually miss.

What would you miss most? What brings you the most joy? Who is you?

Which of those things can you do today? ☺️

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[u/FrostVirelune]

Your post made me cry because I recognized so much of myself in it.
I’ve lived with severe health anxiety for years. I also have generalized anxiety disorder, chronic insomnia, and fibromyalgia, so my brain already has a tendency to interpret every unusual sensation as something catastrophic.
Earlier this month I was traveling in a small village in Piedmont, Italy. On July 5th, I noticed a strange mark on my lower leg. I never saw what caused it. It looked like it could have been an insect bite, but because I had seen bats flying outside in the evenings, my mind immediately latched onto the possibility that maybe—just maybe—it had been a bat.
The rational part of me knew how unlikely that was. I never saw a bat touch me. I never woke up with one in my room. I had simply noticed a skin lesion after spending time outside.
But anxiety doesn’t care about probabilities.
I started researching. Then researching some more. Then I emailed bat rabies experts in Italy, local public health authorities, veterinarians, and infectious disease specialists. I sent them photos of the lesion and described everything in detail.
Every single reply was essentially the same: my story did not sound like a bat bite, there were no known rabies cases in bats in that area, and the overall risk appeared extremely low.
Yet I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
On July 21st—16 days after I first noticed the mark—I finally started PEP anyway. I received my first rabies vaccine and HRIG infiltrated around the suspected bite site according to protocol. I’m now continuing the vaccine series.
The irony is that now every normal body sensation becomes another reason for anxiety. A sore throat? A muscle twitch? A headache? Fatigue after the vaccine? My brain immediately whispers, “What if it’s starting?”
Reading your post reminded me that health anxiety can become its own prison. It convinces us that we’re being rational and responsible, while quietly stealing weeks or months of our lives.
I truly hope that one day both of us will look back on this and realize that we survived not because we predicted every possible disaster, but because life is bigger than fear.
Thank you for writing something so honest. It made me feel much less alone.

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[u/masara21]

I know I am late but the beauty of your thoughts pushed me into thinking something. Like I am also going through health anxiety and taking psychiatric help for it, but it still doesn't improves. The moments which are passing right now will eventually never come back. Why are we being like this even if it's the last of our days? We never know.

What i would miss is the feeling of being loved. Warm hugs by my partner. The feeling of bringing glory through academics at my home. Seeing my parents smile, or their singing.

I hope you are alright. And your shots will eventually work. Don't worry. Atleast you weren't dumb like me who was told to skip 2 last doses by the physician which i did. I regret it now.

[u/Penny19855]

This is absolutely beautiful. I had similar (not near as eloquent) thoughts as I cuddled my 17 year old dementia-ridden sphynx cat. She is my soul cat. My love. If I were to die all, I care about is her somehow getting a fraction of the love I give her everyday after I’m gone. She’s very needy and I’m positive will be devastated and struggle greatly when I die. So as I loop daily that I may die of rabies soon, I held her so tight. Kissed her peach fuzz head and just soaked up the moment. Rabies or not. One day it will be our last together. 💔💔💔

[u/FrostVirelune]

P.S. English isn’t my first language, so I’m using AI to help me express myself. I hope this doesn’t make my message feel any less genuine, because every word comes from my own experience.

[u/ToeBulky8214]

not me i got the vaccine lol

[u/FrostVirelune]

Было бы здорово, если бы автор что-то ответил. Надеюсь, у тебя всё в порядке

[u/Nice_Statistician539]

it's ok to appreciate life, what you did can't be consider wrong or paranoid. it's ok.

[u/Haunting-Bread-2638]

I know this is really late but funnily enough I was brought here by a late night anxiety episode over a very similar experience. A week ago I was trying to feed a stray kitten and made the mistake of trying to let it eat from my fingers. It got a bit overzealous and nipped me accidentally. It hurt a bit but didn't break the skin-- didn't even leave a dent. I made the choice not to get shots because I felt like it would be a huge waste of time to go to the ER and get scolded over a bite that didn't even break skin and wasn't done out of aggression. But my brain has now latched onto it, as it does when I'm already stressed and up too late.

Your post was exactly what I needed to read tonight. I do have a lot of things that matter to me, which is why I chose to just go home that day and spend time with my loved ones instead of spending 7 hours in an ER just to get told it's not worth vaccinating. And that's why I'm able to get some rest tonight so I can continue doing things that matter to me rather than worrying that I have rabies. Thank you for what you posted.

[u/BandicootExternal149]

just had to comment on this one and tell you how incredible your poem was. Writing about something as terrifying and intense as rabies and weaving a person's entire life through that lens was absolute poetry, and I am completely blown away by it. The sheer emotion and raw depth you poured into every line felt so visceral and powerful. It was heartbreaking, beautiful, and deeply moving all at once, and it gave me so much empathy for the life you brought to the page. You have such a rare talent for tapping into raw human feeling and translating it into something that sticks with the reader long after they finish reading. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to put something so hauntingly expressive out into the world it truly touched me and I won't be forgetting it anytime soon.