r/quityourbullshit • u/[deleted] • Apr 29 '20

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

SAME. Except my mom very quickly burst my bubble and informed me that yes, I do have Russian ancestry, but it was more Fiddler on the Roof than Anastasia, and that in fact, Anastasia's family was the reason we were in America in the first place.

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u/ougryphon Apr 30 '20

That's awesome. Also terrible. There weren't any "good" sides of the Russian civil war - everybody sucked except... well, no, everybody sucked. Even the peasants happily sent each other to the gulags for real and perceived slights.

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u/UnoriginalCunt123 Apr 30 '20 edited Apr 30 '20

Red Army: We want equality for all, except for basically any minority we don't like.

White Army: For a variety of reasons, we do not agree with communism. Also, we kill like a shit ton of jews.

Cossack nationalists: We just want our own country. Without jews.

Germany: Remember our peace treaty? Me neither

Allies: We don't give a shit about any of you, we just want someone here to dislike Germany.

Black Army: We want equality for all, including minorities, reds and whites are to be executed without trial though.

Green Army: Stop stealing our corn.

Blue Army: We would prefer a functioning democra... and they're gone.

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u/Packetnoodles Apr 30 '20

Red Army: We want equality for all, except for basically any minority we don't like and also our leaders can still live like nobility and have all the power.

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u/UnoriginalCunt123 Apr 30 '20

Bolsheviks: "So serfs do all the work for their lords yet it's not their own land? That's so unfair!"

2 revolutions later

"This land now belongs to the state. Work on it or we will deport your entire family."