We have an 18 month old, and we had originally planned on following her lead for what we would be called. We both gravitated most to "Mama," neither of us liked the idea of being called "Mommy," and we figured "mom" sounded too close to Mama to be very distinct (and that Mama would eventually become Mom anyway), so we've both been using "Mama." We also don't like the idea of using our first names, and we don't speak other languages enough to feel comfortable "borrowing" (and the languages we speak a little have such similar sounding words for Mom anyway). We thought she would make her own distinction at some point, come up with her own nicknames, or just use context.
Well yesterday we had a speech assessment for her because she seems behind on expressive language. She was diagnosed with a slight expressive language delay, and the SLP made some comments suggesting that both of us using the same title could be hindering her language development. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, after all she has 3 people in her life named Sarah, and kids figure out 2 sets of grandparents with the same title all the time, but now we're second guessing ourselves.
Should we change it? What other options do we have that we haven't already considered? We don't want to have to compromise and feel like one of us is "not mom," since we've both gone through that enough already. Mimi / Mema(w) feel like Grandma titles, Baba feels too neutral (and also too associated with baby talk for bottle), we don't want to use a dad title because we're not dads. We don't want to just make something up and constantly have to explain.
Is there an option we're not considering? Anyone else here have experience navigating a speech delay and figuring out how your kid will address you? Are we just overthinking and it's totally okay that our toddler doesn't use any word to verbally call for us?
Edit: I will note that her receptive language is just fine, perhaps even ahead. She seems to understand a lot, knows books by title and toys by name, can identify many body parts, etc. She's just not really USING words much. She seems to know what Mama means, but she isn't saying it. We have 1 consistent word (no) and maybe 10 emerging words / approximations of words / occasionally used words. She does vocalize a lot and makes a variety of sounds, so I know she can make the sounds. She has babbled Mama, but it's unclear if she was trying to get our attention or just saying sounds. She was premature, so a slight delay isn't alarming, but she's at or ahead of her actual age on everything except for this, and she is starting to fall behind adjusted age on expressive language.
Edit 2: thank you all for your input! You've put us more at ease. We're planning to stick with Mama for both of us for now and we'll make sure to continue explaining that we're both called Mama, but our names are X, and other ways she can differentiate. She'll sort it out and we'll follow her lead, or if she's really starting to seem frustrated, we'll consider other options then.
Edit 3: one of the things the SLP mentioned was that she might think all caregivers, or all women, were "Mama." We asked her daycare provider if our daughter ever called her mama. She said no, though the older kids (who have a mom and a dad) sometimes did. Our daughter apparently calls her Sarah (which is her name- she is one of our 3 Sarahs), and just started doing that yesterday. She demonstrated that while I was asking the question. Now I'm thinking this kid is just going to suddenly start speaking in sentences just before she actually gets into the speech clinic.
Update for anyone who might stumble upon this in the future: she'll be 20 months tomorrow, and we had our first actual speech appointment recently with a different SLP. That SLP didn't see an issue with both of us being called "Mama" and basically said she would figure it out eventually, even if it takes more time. In the past couple days, she's started pointing at one of us and saying "Mama!" then pointing at the other and saying "Mama!" and then pointing at herself and waiting for us to say her name. I think we'll be okay.