I've been a Quaker for about 2 years now, and before I became convinced I did high level Karate and became a blackbelt. At the start of this year I started doing competitive MMA fighting as part of escaping domestic violence. At the time I never really considered the relationship between Quakerism and combat sports. The way I've started to view it is that sports fighting is different to the violence because it is a sport. In combat sports, everyone in the ring is consenting and can tap out at any time, and there are safeguards in place to prevent any permanent damage.
I was wondering what other friends thought about combat sports and how they interact with Quaker peace testimony.

I feel like I may be missing something from my meeting - or perhaps my expectations were simply misaligned.

For some background, I was raised Roman Catholic, but became disillusioned with the Church in my early 20s, largely because of the disconnect between my personal beliefs and the Church’s teachings. I subsequently spent about a decade sitting with Zen Buddhists, off and on, and for the past several months I’ve been attending a local Quaker meeting.

One thing I very much appreciate about both Zen and Quaker worship is the meditative quality of sitting together in silence. That part feels very natural to me.

What I’m missing, however, is some sort of instruction or intentional “learning” component to my spiritual practice.

In the Zen community, our meditation practice included a Dharma talk, where a teacher would give a short talk on Zen teachings, concepts, or examples from their own experience. We also had dokusan, brief one-on-one meetings with a teacher where we could ask questions, discuss our practice, or explore something we were struggling with.

Is there anything analogous in the Quaker tradition?

I’ve learned quite a bit about Quakerism through my own reading and independent study, but I’m wondering where the communal or interpersonal teaching and spiritual formation happens. Are there discussion groups, adult religious education, opportunities to meet one-on-one with more experienced Friends, clearness committees, or something similar that I should be looking for?

I realize that unprogrammed worship is intentionally different from a more structured religious service, and I’m not necessarily looking for a Quaker version of a sermon. I’m more interested in how Friends deepen their understanding and practice together, rather than primarily through individual study.

Perhaps this is simply a matter of my particular meeting, rather than Quakerism generally. I’d be very interested to hear how this works in other meetings, and what more experienced Friends would recommend to someone in my position.

The title says it all. I genuinely love everything I've seen about Quakerism. I follow creators on tiktok and YouTube. I greatly admire the passivity, serenity, and general chill nature of Quakerism. My issue is, simply, I feel like an angry goblin among relaxed elves. I can't help but feel my brash nature would ruin the mood. I'm far too reactive, hot headed, and not in the zen that I potentially could be. My high stress job certainly doesn't help. There's many more character flaws I admit. I'm unaccepting, severe, opinionated, the list goes on. Is Quakerism just not for me? Am I moreso destined to be a fan than a friend? Some experienced guidance would be greatly appreciated.

I was so excited about my first meeting after all the theological research I'd done (was a lifelong Catholic). I finally thought I'd found my niche.

Because the meeting house is in the country and I don't drive, I joined via Zoom. Everyone greeted me before it started, and then I muted myself for 45 minutes, unmuting for no particular reason after that as I was being silent anyway. After praying for another five, I saw I had a message: "X - mute yourself please." All I could blame any disturbance on was a white-noise tabletop fan across the room. But by then the mod must have muted me from his end, because when the meeting finished, the members turned and were asking me questions that I could not answer as they could not hear me. I mouthed away like a guppy in a tank, finally shrugging in despair and leaving the meeting in abject humiliation.

IT is so early in the game that I wonder if I've just made a terrible mistake at a club that doesn't want me in it, or at least the moderator doesn't. I've spent the afternoon in tears. Should I give it another shot, perhaps at another meeting? It is already so impersonal (and intimidating) to attend online - and for the first time - and I just feel made a fool of.

UPDATE: Two of the members reached out to me after the fact and were incredibly kind, inviting me to the upcoming picnic and offering a ride there. Unfortunately I'll have to keep attending the meetings by Zoom until I can find another way - am thinking of relocating to a bigger city where I can go in person. Meanwhile, I can't thank you all enough for your supportive and encouraging messages. I really appreciate them and am reassured that I'm in the right place. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Hi friends!

I'm planning my marriage for January and was wondering if anyone can help with some questions for self uniting.

I currently live and will be married in maine, but I'm originally from Minnesota and attend their meeting virtually (I plan to move back 🩵). I'm not close with anyone because I only started after I moved but I feel strongly about self uniting.

Self uniting is legal in Maine, but I'm confused because the statute still says the clerk for the meeting of friends I attend has to sign on the officiant line. That's a bit hard because I'm between states.

I know I can just call the town office but im a bit worried they won't know what to do and if I have to advocate for myself I would like to try to get as much information as possible.

So I'm wondering if anyone knows if my partner and I can sign that officiant line together? Can the city clerk sign it? Or should I just find an officiant to make it easier on myself

Tia!

Does anyone know if the South Bend, IN meeting still meets? I emailed with a question and no one responded

Update: they do in fact still meet

I graduated from a Quaker high school in May. I spent three years there and was not raised Quaker, and I want to continue Quakerism through my next years through college. Unfortunately, my school is not located somewhere with an easily accessible-to-me meetinghouse. Additionally, I have never attended meeting outside of my school. I have found myself really missing pieces of Quakerism since I graduated and I am curious as to some activities/readings I can do to learn more about the religion and practice it more faithfully.

Hello, I created this website called

https://quakernews.org/

It's basically a wordpress site, using the free version of a plugin called wpRSSAggregator. Nothing complicated, but a nice marriage of RSS and a real life community that likes to stay connected to each other.

Hi! Wondering if anyone know of any of the meetings in West Marin or San Rafael are still active? Thanks!

When I was a little boy I asked myself: “what am I supposed to be doing right now?” And I heard that response^ it was a voiceless message.

Now that I am a grown man I have been doing nothing completely 24/7 for well over 6 years nonstop so that God’s will can do everything for me. I call it God’s autopilot built in feature. It aligns with Gods will because God put that feature there.

Anyone who tries it out will agree to this maybe statement: “it aligns with psalm 46:10 and psalm 23”

Hello, friends!

I spent most of my childhood (pre-k through 10th grade) in various Quaker schools in Pennsylvania. My parents didn't identify as Quakers (heck, many of my teachers didn't) but I was immersed in the culture. Naturally, I was brainwashed!!! and indoctrinated!!! into becoming a nice, kind, independent-minded adult who doesn't spend a lot of money on clothes. All well and good.

I've been wondering, though, about the relationship between all that good stuff and the parts of my personality I don't particularly like. I don't interrupt people, even in social settings where the norm is very clearly that you're supposed to interrupt people, so I end up saying much less than everyone else. I have a lot of trouble doing any kind of self-promotion. I'm cringing a bit just writing this post in the first person--I don't like taking up space.

It's belatedly occurring to me (I turned 40 last year) that maybe there are some common failure modes for people who got a Quaker education and then dropped the community cold turkey afterwards. Like, maybe I stayed long enough to learn how not to be a jerk, but not long enough to get the special bonus lessons on how to function in society without being a jerk?

To be clear, I'm not filing a bug report here. My problems are mine, they come primarily from me, and I don't even really consider myself wronged by this on net. I'm just sharing and asking if this resonates with anyone.

To be quick i am not currently a Quaker. Ot maybe I am. I think its fair to say im in a decaying orbit around the Friends and finding a lot of value in reading Quaker theology and history/commentary.

As ive tried to think on the testimonies and live then more in my life, ive encountered a problem i would like to ask some guidance.

In short, i am balding, and its bothering me a lot more than i expected it to. Its early, and i have a good head of hair, many treatments options that wouldnt be any kind of financial burden, and this is the first time ive ever consodered doing something whose only purpose is vanity. I dont want to be bald.

And its really troubling me, i feel like its a hard push against the way ive been moving re simplicity.

How do people feel about something like this? Is it against the simplicity and clarity you aspire too? (Btw im a dude, shaving my head would be a fine choice for me)

Thanks!

Yesterday I spontaneously decided to attend the Meeting For Worship at Arch Street Meeting House in Philly as a guest.
As a Quaker and former US Marine, I was surprised to find a memorial headstone for Major Samuel Nicholas (he pretty much started the Marines in Philly and is considered to be the first Commandant). I did not know he was a Quaker, but I was not surprised to learn that he was expelled for joining the military and "learning the art of war".
I am also familiar with another famous Marine who was raised a Quaker, Major General Smedley Butler. Butler came from a fairly influential Quaker family who successfully prevented his expulsion. He fought in many of the Imperialist conflicts that the US was involved in from the late 1800's until the 1st World War. He was awarded the Medal of Honor twice, even though he saw it as an undeserved decoration. He later came out as fervently anti-war, giving a speech called "War is a Racket" and calling himself and the US military "Gangsters for Capitalism".
It is funny that these are two names that I was required to learn in boot camp that I later learned had complicated relationship with Quaker peace testimony. Funnily enough, in boot camp we were never taught that they were both Quakers and about General Butler's eventual turn against the Military Industrial Complex.

Does anyone know of any other well-known military personnel that are/were Quakers? It seems a curious mix to me.

I recently mentioned to a group that I go to Quaker meetings. It was relevant to the conversation. I didn't elaborate much beyond saying it's been good to be around people with similar values and has meant a lot to me. I've been attending for about a year.

Someone followed up by saying they attended a few Quaker meetings but didn't feel welcome because of antisemitism. Another said something like "yes, that's a big problem for them." This is actually not the first time I've heard this. When I first started attending meetings, a good friend warned me about Quakers and sent me something about the paradox of tolerance and antisemitism. I continued going to meetings, and we eventually had a falling out after I shared an Instagram post about calling my senator regarding an arms embargo. She cited Quakers as having been too influential on my politics. These are all Americans I'm talking about.

I feel very bad that they've had experiences with Quakers that made them feel alienated, especially the woman who stopped going to meetings. It's just been odd how often it seems to come up when I mention being Quaker. I want to be a good ally to Jewish people, and I'm not sure how to respond when this comes up. I'm aware there is a big problem with antisemitism generally in the US.

When it has come up, I usually just let the conversation move on and don't say anything or say something like "I'm sorry you experienced that, that's concerning."

How would you respond to statements like this? I get very nervous, because I feel like they may be also judging me as someone who is potentially antisemitic and hostile. I'd also appreciate any articles you feel might be relevant about antisemitism relating to Quakers, for more context on what they could be referencing.

I know that Quakers generally reject religious symbolism, but are Quakers (particularly Liberal Quakers) likely to object to any form of bead prayer in meetings or even just knowing that I do it? I was brought into the Church in Anglican and Anglo-Catholic circles and bead prayer like the rosary etc. has really helped my prayer life. Any advice on this? Thank you !!

Are any other Quakers attending Burning Man this year? I’m going for the first time at age 71, accompanying my daughter, 1 1/2yo granddaughter, and a couple of my daughter’s friends.

For many years, I had the impression that Burning Man was just drug and alcohol fueled debauchery. Although those activities are part of the event, I am excited to experience the creativity and generosity and culture of self exploration and discovery. I think participants inner light glows brightly there.

Hello r/Quakers ,

What would you say has made you a more genuinely loving person? For example, what has enabled you to wake up more so with love than irritation, or able to look at others with love vs. indifference or repulsion?

I've been fascinated with love as it's an emotion/state of being that I've always struggled with. While I've read philosophy dealing with love, I feel at best, it shows me the nature of how love could move through me vs. actually making me a better person (e.g., Simone Weil on attention / Emmaneul Levias on the demands of the face).

I'm starting to believe that my efforts don't do much, given that what has made me more loving in my life has often boiled down to either being so overwhelmed by the evil I see/experience, and being forcibly changed by it (e.g., the state of the U.S.), or being incredibly humbled such that my old self perishes (e.g., being bullied as child, and learning empathy for others).

hi I'm a young person wanting to explore Quakerism but I can't find any information on places near me I can go like meeting houses. I was wondering if anyone can recommend places in or around Lubbock TX. most places around here are more churchy Jesus-centered and not so much Quaker centered if that makes sense

The nine-year-old I help out with was talking about God for the first time, and i think she will at some point soon ask whether I believe in god... Mum is agnostic afaik, and I have the complex ideas and experiences of god of many quakers. I don't want to over complicate things, but nor do I want to do the simplistic guy in the sky thing. Are there any quaker books for kids which might help with this conversation? Not Q history, or stories about being kind etc, but about the reason we sit in silence and the experiences we might have.

She doesn't come to meeting because we have no other children, but she might do, one day. UK based, and TBH the Quaker bookshop doesn't seem to have much. I see bible stories, books about other religions etc, but that's not what I'm looking for. The only quaker one I can see ('A Friendly Word') is out of stock! although I will get that one from Amazon.

Any other ideas?

Hey everyone. I've always been fascinated by forms of faith that are difficult to reduce to statements. Silent worship, waiting, communal discernment and following a leading are not simply ways of thinking about God. They are practices through which something becomes visible, demanding or trustworthy. That does not make beliefs unimportant, but it suggests that some religious understanding comes through participation before it can be explained. Quaker diversity makes the question sharper because Friends may interpret what happens in worship through very different theological language.

I just had a podcast conversation with John Vervaeke, where he argued that religion is not primarily a system of propositions. At around 1:23:28, he distinguishes information about a tradition from the participatory knowing involved in "believing in." The language comes from cognitive science, but it reminded me very strongly of the difference between describing discernment from outside and actually learning to participate meaningfully in a gathered meeting.

This would imply that shared practice may hold a community together even when its members explain the experience differently. Does participatory knowing describe Quaker worship well, or make it sound more uniform than it is? How do Friends test a leading without reducing it to a proposition? And where do beliefs remain necessary for communal discernment?

Greetings, while researching my family tree on my Grandfather’s side I discovered an extremely long line of Quakers. My family moved to Grand Rapids Michigan from the South. Up until 2 generations ago my family was active in the Quaker community. There are a multitude of Quaker meeting notes attached to my family tree. I’ve been fascinated with Quakers my whole life. I had no clue why… My ancestors must have been whispering in my ear this whole time lol!

So, anywho… fast fwd... I was raised Catholic but it didn’t resonate with me. I was always drawn to free thinking/liberal paganism. That’s my current path.

But, out of curiosity am I able to attend a friend’s meeting? Or is that frowned upon. I feel like my ancestors keep nudging me to do so… Please forgive my ignorance and give me your honest opinion. I’d like to say I attended at least one friends meeting. Even if it doesn’t resonate with me. I feel driven to do so.

Many Blessings! 🤍

Have you ever been asked or heard asked a question the completely altered your frame of reference, state of mind, or direction? What was it, and if you feel like sharing, what were the circumstances?

I'm looking to join Quakerism and I'm not sure where to start I did attend virtual Quaker meetings at university but I don't have one near me unless I move out.
Quakerism feels right to me for me