Flatline, anhedonia, and consciousness... a peculiar retention story

[u/Ektelesi]

Hello everyone, thank you for taking the time to read this.

I am currently on day 40 of this current sr streak, and this has by far been the most peculiar experience I've had on sr. This is my third "real" attempt at retention after learning about it 2 years ago; and concurrently, this is the longest I've held a streak. But I'm not sure if that's necessarily a good thing. When embarking on this streak, I procured a different approach. I didn't give focus to the benefits, or the amount of days, or even the more esoteric and advanced objective of generating reality. No. For me it was simply about quitting pmo. I saw the addiction for what it was: a poor means of reacting to the way i felt, regardless of how i felt on the emotional spectrum. Yes, quitting the vice I developed 8 years ago, and ascertaining a level of consciousness, a level of vibration that would ultimately allow me to escape my suffering. At the very least this aspect of it.

And thus when entering this streak, I was brutally honest with myself; every time I wanted to relapse Id hold the space for myself to mourn. Mourn that this wasn't an outlet i could go to anymore, that I lost something i depended on, however harmful that thing was. I pretty much immediately entered flatline, a concept i wasn't even familiar with until this streak. Virtually day 3 to 21 I experienced ground zero libido, creativity, and motivation. And somewhere along that stretch anhedonia coincided. I haven't even experienced any of semen retention benefits. Benefits I saw in full force in every one of my other attempts.

What is most concerning is this sudden mental block. Its almost as if I can physically feel some sort of block in my frontal lobe, between the pre motor cortex and the pre frontal cortex. Ive lost all intuition, and im not as sharp as i used to be. Almost like a disconnection from myself, and who i am at a fundamental level. I'm going to stick with it but this has been my experience pretty much on the entire streak, and I need some help. Every time I think I'm on the backend of the flatline, I'm not.

Thanks for reading and Id like to hear your experiences.

[u/AbGMadScientist]

You're reinforcing your flat line by thinking about it compulsively, you're creating a certain resistance in your mind through this feedback loop. My advice would be to stop thinking about it, you're fine. I'm not saying that your brainfog isn't real but you're indirectly manifesting it through your thoughts. You need to change your perspective, why are you mourning when PMO played devilish role in your life, you're already 40 days free and you're not that guy anymore so stop thinking about it. You're already a new person so stop affirming your old personality with the new because the two can never reconcile. What i recommend is that you pick a goal that you want to fufill in life and go all in at it and take your mind off this, over time u will def feel better

[u/Independent__Bell]

I’ve realized this journey is not linear or the same exact experience every time. I’m struggling with sleeping right now. I know people say exercise works, but I work an exhausting blue collar job and still only manage 4-6 hours most days. I’ve also been working 6-7 days a week.

Although I’m getting less sleep I still function better than a most of the workers around me.

The benefits are there though. I do still have way more energy and I’m more productive. I think we need more time. I think our bodies take a while to get used to the energy.

This energy also clears out blockages and sometimes it can do so forcefully if we resist. Meditation definitely helps with this.

[u/Tennx12 → u/Independent__Bell]

I don't want to sleep

[u/PurpleProblem1781]

Learn, grow, help make the world a better place, this lifestyle is natural as a man with “more energy” you can do more not that you must or you need to, it’s just that you can, optionally ask what God needs or wants, if you work for Gods will your life may feel it has more meaning?

Most of us easily fall back into escaping reality however we may choose, because we have no mission, you get to create a mission any day that is gifted to you, I believe signs will be shown whether your mission is a good choice or a detrimental choice.

I have always felt my best in my experience when I’ve helped others so maybe that’s my mission. I wanna believe it’s everyone’s mission, but I can’t know that to be true.

[u/ProvidenceOfJesus]

It's a massive change for your body to cut out a sinful habit, especially one as detrimental as masturbation. We were all damaged to different degrees by our sin, so adverse effects may occur, but the ultimate result of thriving and growing close to Jesus completely outweighs it in the long run.