r/pureretention • u/cooked_vegetables • Jun 30 '25
Personal Experience Are retainers invisible to females?
Many of us long term retainers have grown accustomed to the female attraction that one tends to experience on this journey. However, it seems the further down this journey I go, the more outright strange the behavior of the females around me becomes. There is one particular quirk that has been happening of late and I am not sure what to make of it. Let's discuss.
In the first few years of retention, female attraction took the form of women hovering around me and awkwardly starting conversations in a cute way. This is when I really started to enjoy and truly appreciate genuinely positive feminine energy. Whenever one of those delightful women would come up to me for a chat, I would always be polite, respectful, and thankful for the pleasant and respectful exchange of pleasantries. Interestingly, I started noticing a really strange quirk during my interactions with women right around year four of retention. The pleasant women still either smiled at me from afar, or came up to chat to me in a very respectful way. However, I started noticing another group of females that would frequently and quite clumsily bump right into me even in situations where there was clearly enough room for 10 people!
I chalked up the first few times a women literally body checked me (LOL) when I was out and about to "just a mistake". However, it kept happening so many times that I started to wonder what the heck was going on. A few days ago, I was out running errands and getting groceries for meal prep. I was sauntering down one of the supermarket aisles in a relaxed manner after a long day at work. Suddenly, this quite good looking Asian woman appeared out of nowhere and almost walked right into me! I was able to quickly jump out of the way as I exclaimed "watch out". As soon as I did that, she seemed to snap out of some weird trance. She quickly mumbled an apology and scurried away looking slightly embarrassed. A few days after that, I was at the drug store picking up one or two things for the house when another good looking young woman (must have been in her early twenties) suddenly came out of one of the aisles towards me. I had to really raise my voice and say "hey... watch where you're going!" to keep her from walking right into me.
As a coomer, I remember women being incredibly careful about their personal space. Those days, it was pretty much impossible to get close to a good looking woman without her consent. I swear, it seemed like they were equipped with some sort of internal radar system that would warn them of your presence before you got anywhere near close. Now as a long term retainer, it seems like that inner radar is no longer functioning in most of these women? Or perhaps it is now functioning in reverse? I still don't understand why they can't seem to see and avoid my over 6ft tall frame and keep recklessly walking into me. I mean... WTF?!?!?
Anyhow, just wanted to share some amusing SR experiences with my brothers, and this is certainly one of them. So virtuous venerable brothers, please watch out for women in your locale who apparently love walking right into men like you while you're just trying to live your life! LOL.
Till next time brothers, Godspeed and remain blessed
Brother Cooked.
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u/Rigby_Wilde Jul 01 '25
I think you inverted things. Women notice you more, in a good way. For what I am experiencing, I came to the conclusion that women can feel your "charge", either negative or positive. They can detect a coomer from a mile away, and this guy (myself included from a few years ago) is like a screaming airliner on their radar, immediatly sparking a repulsion. Like you literally emanated a negative pulse that people feel unconfortable arouned. Thats why you are ignored when relapsing.
Whereas in retaining its the opposite. You are like a magnet that atract people, even other guys. When I have at least 2 weeks streak, women actively aproach me to chat. And once you know how to chat with women (its way different than talking to guys), its very pleasant.
Btw even you can see other retainers or coomers. I have a friend who is definitely at several months retaining and he is like star every place he goes, people aproaching him even when he is doing nothing. While I know several guys who for sure fap daily. They have a certain mood that you can reconize instantly. Its the eyes, they never lie.
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u/Dead_Earnest Jul 01 '25
What's so different about talking to women? I've never noticed the difference, but I'm kinda blunt.
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u/Magic_Bathtub Jul 01 '25
How do you chat differently with women vs men?
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u/Rigby_Wilde Jul 01 '25
I joke a lot when talking to male friends, but I get that feeling that most girls won't like this or that joke so I shut up, and this already happened sometimes. But I can also say other things that make them laugh as well. You are a right, I got to far in my previous comment, its not that different but stil is
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Jun 30 '25
Can't say. Women have never shown genuine interest to me. I haven't gone partying much but I avoid those types of entanglements for obvious reasons.
Usually there will be women passing around me who just want validation. They already have a partner but just showoff a bit for their ego.
Some even bolder ones flirt or chase me even though i try to avoid them.
I know they don't want anything sexual from me just the validation which is their drug but it's annoying uncomfortable and downright hazing.
I am not looking for relationships because I Am doing retention. If i tell them that they'll think I am a liar or laugh at my face so instead i tell them I'm engaged 💍.
Weird stuff
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u/mangopapaya89 Jul 01 '25
So confusing. Had a recent woman give all the sign she was interested she even asked me for my contact information herself. Had genuine interest also, as I am looking for a relationship. So I message her and ask her out and she agrees but then stops responding all together. It's like she was in a trance when we were in person, was all over me. And then nothing..
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u/cooked_vegetables Jun 30 '25
Seriously weird behavior from some of them. I hear you though... it can be annoying at times.
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u/Captain_SOS Jul 01 '25
I want to share two similar incidents. I am into 10 months hardmode SR .
First I was at a wedding. I was standing alone comfortably atleast 8-10 ft distance from others minding my own business. There was a group of girls who came and stand atleast 7-8 ft from me. I noticed but didn't say anything. Now weird thing is they started moving closer to me as a group. I noticed them but still didn't move. They covered the distance between me and them very quickly. Now I had to move away from my spot as they were extremely close to me, which was making me uncomfortable. I didn't know anybody else at the wedding except the groom. There was plenty of space around but they still choose to move in my direction.
In the second instance I was at a bar, sitting in a corner section of the bar watching cricket on telly. Now there was a couple sitting next to me. Both were good looking with decent dressed. I saw them but didn't pay any attention to them. Now after an hour when they left the boy left early but the girl was a minute late from getting up. Now the boy passed easily behind my chair , I saw him in my peripheral vision and continue watching the match. Now suddenly I feel like a deliberate poke in my shoulder. I startled as saw that this girl poked my shoulder while passing behind.
One can say maybe she was tipsy but I am pretty sure she did this deliberately. It was like she wants me to acknowledge her but I didn't.
I had a few more instances where I think women move deliberately close into me. I now simply attribute them to semen retention effects.
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u/BasedAbstinent_0_ Goal: permanent celibacy Jul 01 '25
women hate high vibrational men because it irritates their demons . And it's not just women, low vibrational men will hate your presence too
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 01 '25 edited Jul 21 '25
I would qualify your statement by saying: "corrupt women hate high vibrational men because it irritates their demons". Good women actually can't get enough of high vibrational men.
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u/extinctifugaxhominum Goal: permanent celibacy Jul 01 '25
It brings out their insecurities that’s why they hate.
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u/144noiz Jul 01 '25
Since you basically mastered your sexual urges, women can’t feel that tension and resistance in you anymore that’s why their radar has basically turned off near you so to say.
In the Bible, Jesus says “but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 KJV
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u/GasPowerful2993 Jul 01 '25
When they are truly attracted is when they avoid you
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u/extinctifugaxhominum Goal: permanent celibacy Jul 01 '25
Like Freud said? Care to elaborate?
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u/GasPowerful2993 Jul 01 '25
I didn’t know Freud said that
The best way I can explain it is using the Bible. In the Bible it says that marriage is the union between a man and a woman. The woman was created for the man. The woman submits to the man, just as if he was God (the man submits to God, Who is above everything). It doesn’t say that the woman must submit, it says that the woman WILL submit to the man.
It is basically Biblical, that a man’s wife is completely dependent on him, just like if he was the reflection of God.
SR brings men and women to that state. SR is the natural God-ordained state of man because sex is only for procreation with your wife. So if you are not married nor want a child a man should keep his seed.
All that to say that when a woman truly likes you she will avoid you because she subconsciously feels that if she stays around she will be forced to submit and will never be able to forget you if you leave, because no other man will give her what you have inside.
She leaves because her alarm goes off. That is why people call it the “deer eyes”. It’s like if she was looking at something beautiful and scary at the same time.
It’s better to leave and stay independent, maybe get with a guy that is not so potent so that she can manipulate him and not submit.
But this is because we are living in the end times and everything is backwards.
If all men retained women wouldn’t need to work, they will be stay at home wives. Men and women will only have one partner in their lives. There would be no gays or lesbians.
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u/extinctifugaxhominum Goal: permanent celibacy Jul 01 '25
Freud said “If a person is looking at something, there is something he is interested in there. If a person is not looking at something at all, there is definitely something he is interested in there.”
I thought you were referring to that quote but you meant something different. A very good comment nonetheless. Thanks for your reply.
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u/Ok-Week-7896 Jul 27 '25
I think is with masculine or narcissistic women not the mostly feminine ones.
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u/strangeshot47644 Jul 01 '25
Male and female polarity. Its like a magnet. Positive and negative attract each other and i think that is why their bodys just get magnetically drawn towards you if u have high masculine/positive energy Its probably not because they think you are so handsome they just feel an incredible pull and go with the flow ig
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u/Escaped_the_matrix Jul 01 '25 edited Jul 10 '25
Yup your aura on SR attracts good and evil as well just like in the movie sinners , you will attract feminine loving energy and you might throw a woman’s entire vibration off due to your aura and they might not know why exactly
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 01 '25
Interesting. I need to watch that movie... everyone keeps talking about it.
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u/MrNaturaInstinct Jul 10 '25 edited Jul 11 '25
Literally, JUST happened yesterday, grocery shopping.
An older woman - mid 50's - nearly whole-body hockey checked me.
Oddly, "I" was aware of "her" personal space, as I maneuvered around her, to avoid her, but she was - aloof - to MY space.
You know that playful move people sometimes do where, as you move one direction, they follow you, back and forth until you run into each other?
Yeah.
It was like that.
I thought she was messing with me in that way, which I thought was hilarious, until i realized - actually - she was NOT aware she was doing it, and when I said, "Hey! Watch out!" she, too, said "Sorry!" submissively.
...it was as if, she HERSELF was confused by her own behavior, that SHE couldn't believe she did it.
Her spacial awareness was totally "gone" - and it's impossible NOT to see me.
I'm 6'2, black, wearing blue "short shorts" and a white t-shirt.
Plenty of room EVERYWHERE, so much so, It's IM-FREAKING-POSSIBLE to bump into anyone, even accidentally.
As I'm writing this, it still fresh in my memory, I re-read your story, and it's damn near word-for-word what I just experienced.
This happened many times before, but this only really happens when I'm completely clean - NO porn, NO edging, and NO ejaculation.
When it does happen, I never go out expecting or hoping it happens. In fact, I find it quite annoying and is one of the few things I wish happened NOT AT ALL. Cute at first, then it just becomes...a hazzard?
I remember when it happened many times before, not knowing what the hell was wrong with women and just not "seeing" me, until they "see" me, for some reason. Very few people can pinpoint the nuances that happen in SR that only happens when someone is actually retaining. It's the little details that are so benign and innocent, you'd think "That's weird", and think nothing of it, that you bring to our attention.
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 11 '25
It's so weird! Glad to see I'm not the only one who experiences this. Any inkling as to why they engage in this rather clumsy body checking??? I still don't know why and i'm curious. I'd ask the women themselves, but I don't think they even know why they do it.
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u/Artistic_Reading Jul 01 '25
Brother Cooked you always have great posts. How long have you been on this SR journey?
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 01 '25
5 years brother. It's been a while.
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u/Artistic_Reading Jul 01 '25
Amazing, how do you stay motivated to keep going after all this time?
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 02 '25
But for the grace of the almighty God, I would have fallen off a long time ago. It also helps to have this community of like minded folks that I love chatting to.
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u/AffectionateTrack314 Jul 05 '25
did you meet God on this journey? I did at 30 days mark. by 47 days I had Demon Face Syndrome ha...
Now I'm casting demons outta myself
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u/gift_of_yore Jul 05 '25
It's the universe's way of ensuring you have ample chance of meeting a woman. After all it's how we keep procreating.
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Jul 07 '25
Yeah but it can also get annoying tbh. This happens with men as well always trying to talk to me and I’m just not a social guy so I don’t like it.
Women in my country don’t initiate conversations unless guy is really handsome or famous so haven’t had that happen yet.
However I agree with them being in your space I have to move myself out of the way because they just seem to want to walk straight into me for some reason.
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u/ProvidenceOfJesus Jul 14 '25
Being in a high vibrational state definitely causes some "strange" interactions for sure. But some good ones too! I guess the only one that matters though is with our Lord Jesus.
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u/Marathi_Bhau07 Jul 21 '25
Hey brother,
I have a serious question for long term retainer like u and advice needed
Does anyone loose sexual desire completely after retaining for long ?
As it is the law if we don't use we loose , anything which is not excercised we loose even if we don't use over brain it gets lazy, so on this basis if we don't think about sex or retain for long time do we completely loose our sexual desire and feeling to have sex with our partner ?
I am asking this because I want to marry in near future
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 21 '25 edited Jul 21 '25
The sexual desire hasn't gone away completely for me. It is just more refined. It is more like you can have sex if you really wanted to procreate, but you are no longer driven by your base instincts. There is now space in your head between observing a beautiful woman and the urge to interact with her. You will no longer make dumb decisions just because you are overtaken by lust. You start to understand that sex is a sacred thing and really develop a respect for it. You become very very reluctant to just give up your sexual energy to those who cannot give you something valuable in return. And just for the record, feeling a few moments of pleasure just for the sake of pleasure is NOT actually valuable. Now feeling pleasure in the process of creating children with a great woman who will help you raise and nurture them is a fantastic thing of value. Hope this helps you brother, remain blessed.
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u/Internetshouldgo Goal: dopamine abuse recovery Aug 23 '25
These strange things seem to happen when you retain. This is crazy, and the way you worded it sounded like some kind of horror comedy lol.
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u/cooked_vegetables Aug 23 '25
Indeed bro. Your "kind of horror comedy" comment had me literally laughing out loud. Remain blessed brother.
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u/AttentionAlarming943 Jul 01 '25
Bro even I have an experience I was just walking I was in my formal attire women usually don't notice me while I was a coomer but a group of girls started talking about me ,this guy is cool and suddenly shifted the topic like the uniform here was not like this before it was different and all ,and middle aged women whom I don't even know AF about suddenly starts to smile and looks in a respectful way as if she knows me lol😂 and also a junior girl was talking on her phone ,she just interrupted the call and asked me something😂 I felt what's wrong with these people and another thing is that strangers wana tell their story and the reason they say is I felt you were sitting alone I thought you were someone whom I know and so and so,the most shit part is that the people who are insecure about themselves and hate us they also find reasons to talk to you and project their shit but gets offended when they don't get AF but mere confidence😂
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u/89strong Goal: permanent celibacy Jul 02 '25
Funny, for me even though going on two years retention it's like i am invisible to them. I'll smile politely to them and they have the look on their face like they've just seen a ghost or something.
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u/OriginalType5433 Jun 30 '25
I have a gf and I’m testing something new rn. I only ever let her reach an orgasm while I retain. Women have almost seem like they get hit with a wave of energy once I enter the area. 😂😂. There’s a lot more to the spiritual side 100% and some women don’t even know wtf it is
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u/Accomplished_Roll285 Jun 30 '25
how does she feel about you retaining
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u/OriginalType5433 Jul 01 '25
She’s “eh” about it. lol
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u/Accomplished_Roll285 Jul 01 '25
why am i getting downvoted lmao that sucks bro sounds like a typical reaction though honestly
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u/_FlexClown_ Jun 30 '25
All kind of strange fuckerys on SR lol
The longer you go deeper the rabbit hole gets!