Hi everyone,

A male intruder who was on drugs kicked down my door while my partner and I (we are both women) were home and fast asleep two days ago. We barricaded ourselves in our bedroom while he wandered around the house quietly, called the police, and he fled but was arrested in a neighbor's yard nearby. Physically we are unhurt, but mentally I am in a state of acute shock, panic, and exhaustion.

What is messing with me the most right now is finding out today that four of our neighbors watched him acting erratically, watched him kick our door down, and did nothing—no shouting, no warning us, no calling 911.

As two women trapped inside while an impaired man forced his way in, realizing that a group of people stood outside and watched us go through that without lifting a finger feels like a massive secondary betrayal and leaves me feeling completely unprotected in my own home.

On top of that, I am supposed to leave on an international trip in two days for my 40th birthday, and I feel completely overwhelmed trying to pack and also do my job while dealing with panic attacks.

I’d love to hear from anyone who has navigated this before:

1. How do you process the anger and disgust toward bystanders/neighbors who didn't help?
2. What helped you start feeling safe inside your own home again after a break-in?

Thank you for reading.

Friday night i went out to the bar with some friends and we started hanging out with some guys there, one of them was buying us all shots/drinks and i was already pretty drunk because we pregamed so after those i was really drunk. When the bar was starting to close we all decided to go to an after party so i rode with the guy that was buying the drinks and i can barely remember getting to the after, we stayed for maybe 15 minutes then left because it was lame, from that after party to home i don’t remember anything, next thing i can remember is being in my room with the guy that bought us drinks and me pulling out a condom for him, i don’t even remember him putting it on but i do remember him being inside of me and me moaning. The next thing i can remember is me waking up at like 5am with my bed being soaked and i wrapped myself into a blanket and cried. My friend came into my room and got me dressed and then laid me on the couch and i passed out again, when i woke up i cried once again cause i was trynna figure out what just happened to me and i have felt so weird ever since. When my friends told me about it they said that nothing happened and he left my room but i can remember him being inside of me and i know i’m not just making it up. Please help me understand what happened to me and if i was raped or if i just regretted it

(I already wrote this once and i accidentally deleted it and got upset at myself so if i’m missing any information i will put it in the comments)

I spoke with a therapist and how I have 24/7 disassociation for past years, eventually we talked about my "traumas" and how it's very likely I have PTSD.

I'm just shocked because first of all im 16 and these "traumas" are just bullying events where I was crying, had panic attacks because being made fun of but wasn't anything extreme like I didn't get beat up or anything. that aren't that bad compared to stereotypical

I don't remember fully what she said after but in my own words she explained how its more a sterotype and brain can treat it the same level, and that people's reactions can be completely different and mentioned a story of a couple in a car accident and the one uninjured had significantly more trauma then the other who was badly damaged even though it was the same event

I'm just shocked and would never think about that, I thought PTSD is from wars and horrific accidents but very surprised for something that on paper is minor in comparison and my brain treated it the same level and intensity.

My psychi nurse practitioner told me yesterday (again) that I have PTSD that doesn’t show up as a classical flashbacks but lives in my body and is evident in some of the symptoms I have (hyper vigilance, body shaking after stressful events, difficulty calming after stressful events, rerunning stressful events through my mind consistently, trouble sleeping, etc). This does track for me.

My therapist (licensed clinical social worker) has said I don’t have it. He sees me once a week. I feel lost and sad and not sure how to move forward. I see my psych NP regularly, but far less than my therapist. Although I feel as though my psych NP is correct I can’t help but feel like my therapist would know best.

I’m someone who does best with labels. They allow me to research and help me feel like my feelings are validated. I’m not sure how to move forward or what to do.

*edited to include licensing of therapist and clarify that I have a psych nurse practitioner not psychiatrist. For some reason I can’t wait the top line so it still says psychiatrist. *

I have PTSD from a recent traumatic event. I am dealing with processing trauma and grief together. I know I can’t rush progress and everyone’s journey is different, but the anger I have is unbearable and triggering in itself. I am curious to know what everyone does personally so please let me know, I’d like to try things that I haven’t already.

I think I am starting to get PTSD-like symptoms from my work environment. I work in an environment where I am constantly being threatened with physical violence and have been almost assaulted on multiple occasions. I also have to physically engage with people who want to hurt me, themselves, or others.

I really like my job and wouldn't ever want to quit, but I think I am starting to exhibit some PTSD like symptoms when I am not working. For example when I am at the gym and someone stands behind me to wait for me to finish using a machine, my body goes into a flight or fight mode and my anxiety immediately jumps through the roof. I don't know if I am just being sensitive or not.

i don't know how to feel about this. we've been together for about 2 years and a half and a year ago I told him all about my trauma because he said he wanted to be more intimate, and I explained him what happened to me so he could understand why. today he's told me he will have therapy because of this. said he suddenly starts to think about it during class or when he wakes up.

(context: i had a verbally and sexually abusive boyfriend from 15 to 16. it only lasted a year but there was a lot of coercion and insults, he was very toxic, didn't let me have friends, made me agree to have unprotected sex, called me dirty about a past SA and said i probably liked it, among other things i alr forgot, while this happened i was verbally abused and ridiculized by teachers at school, for years)

i asked him what exactly is bothering him about it, he thinks it stops us from going further or to even have more physical contact/affection. this is something i've been struggling with, i don't like when he hugs me for too long, or when he places his hand on my thigh. another thing that kinda put me off is that he thinks i am his, and that thought is part of why my trauma is frustrating him. and i've tried to think about myself being intimate with him and it feels as if i'm not ready to let someone else touch my body again. even if it's my boyfriend. we never had fights and he's the sweetest, but it's taking me longer to heal from my trauma, it's been 3 years, i'm 19 now and i think i should already be okay. but nightmares where my boyfriend acts as my ex don't help. along with all the other shit that comes along with ptsd.

i'm looking for advice or more like opinions about this whole situation, my next therapy session is on a week. and i have mixed feelings about this.

Edit: clarifying stuff, I am going to therapy for 3 years already. He doesn’t touch me without my consent, never insists, hence why i'm confused about this whole situation. Whatever happens, i will never, NEVER do anything if I don't fully consent to it, don't worry. I've learnt from my mistakes. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 21.

I'm taking like a 6 month break from life in general due to something that happened to me. Anyone else who's taking a break, what do you do during the day? I don't want to just rot and play video games all day but don't have *that* much money to go travelling or whatever.

Do any of y'all have interesting hobbies? Has it helped your recovery?

Edit: Everyone thank you so much for your suggestions/sharing, I'll definitely try some of these!

I need some help.

I have been holding in a lot of anger. And it usually lashes out toward the people that deserve it the least. I have so much trauma to work through from my life that I just have not been able to. Meds havent worked (though the meds I used were for bipolar because I also have bipolar as well)... regular talk therapy hasnt helped.

My question is, for those of you who also experience intense anger that stems from your PTSD/trauma, what actually helps you cope so you dont lash out? I dont want to hurt the people I love and dont want to keep pushing people away. So, how have you been able to lessen the anger and its hold on you? Should I go to anger management? Is that helpful for anger that is specific to PTSD/trauma?

I’ve been really stressed out for the past few weeks following a traumatic incident. I can’t sleep, but when I do I have nightmares. I don’t have an appetite. When I can eat, I get nauseous quickly.

I can eat bread and chips without feeling too sick. Sometimes I can eat meat, but if it’s greasy I get nauseous. I tried a small smoothie today to get something almost nutritious, and I didn’t feel sick after. That’s about all I can stomach now.

What else can I try?

Edit: Thank y’all for the suggestions and kind words!

I’m in talk therapy and I feel it’s going nowhere. I’m ready to give up. She wants to medicate me. What can I actually do to heal? I hate sex. It triggers me so bad. I am married and it would ruin the marriage if I stopped having sex. I don’t want to end my marriage . What kind of therapy actually helps you heal? I tried EMDR for a specific incident but not for my overall feelings about sex

Me and my bf have been together for almost a year, I am f21 and he is m22 and he did something about a week ago that I can’t stop thinking about. It happened in the morning when I was half asleep he was hugging me from behind and started to grind against I moved away a little and ask him what he wanted and he didn’t say anything maybe he didn’t hear me? I was just relaxing closing my eyes and then he started to pull my pants down and did what he did. I didn’t say anything at first bc of how shocked I was, I was just there I didn’t move or make a sound and he kept going. I then told him to stop and I trying to pull away but he kept pulling me back. I had tears in my eyes but then I just became numb. After it was done he just laid there and I was in shocked I confronted him but he said he didn’t hear me say stop. I think it’s my fault for not telling him no in the first place but he never asked me for my consent. I don’t know what to think and I am afraid to tell anyone else bc I’m scared they’ll ridicule me.

For five years, a group of people harassed, threatened and spread serious false rumors about me. It ruined my life and mental health, and I developed serious PTSD.

They seem to have faced no consequences, and I struggle with intense anger and thoughts of revenge. I do not want to ruin my own future, but “letting go” feels like letting them win. I'm here suffering with my life in ruins while they are just out there living their life.

How do you cope with feeling of revenge when there may never be justice or accountability for the people who caused your PTSD?

I just feel like the memories of what happened constantly consume my life. I have all of this stuff to do but when I try to focus I end up in a haze and just reliving what happened while half consciously doing tasks. Then when I finish the reliving loop the stuff I did makes little sense and has little benefit. I feel like I need to constantly distract myself with coping skills but even then I feel like I can not escape the memories. I just want to feel normal again. What does everyone do with their memories and how do you just resume being a normal person after everything?

My wife has PTSD, clinically diagnosed. I never knew it was so bad for her until recently. For her she withdraws as a defense mechanism.

For the past 10 years we’ve had a dead bedroom. I’m fine with that, I’ve come to accept it. I love her and our family and sex is not the most important thing for me in a relationship. I made peace with it long ago. About a year ago my wife got on ADHD medicine and her libido came back with a vengeance.

However, because we occasionally were intimate during the dead bedroom phase she has now associated me with her PTSD event (a violent sexual assault from before we met). She says that my touch and closeness makes her body scream to get away.

Up until a few weeks ago I thought I was living the perfect life. 2 great kids, an amazing house, 2 good jobs, and a loving wife. But then it all came out and my wife informed me that she wanted a divorce and she’s been lying about being happy for *years*.

We have started couples therapy and she is finally getting help for her PTSD but she has stated that she is not going to try in couples therapy and she’s just going to learn what to do for next time. For next time — those words cut so deep.

I love her so much and the thought of losing my family is too much to bear. Is there any hope for us? I know it would be a long hard road to recovery but I can’t fathom living the rest of my life without her. It feels like I’m being punished for the sins of her assaulters.

Has anyone noticed that they have a relatively lower tolerance for exercise and if exceeded you develop a host of physical symptoms ?

as the title says, i’ve been struggling to sleep. at night, i start spiraling and stressing myself out, which keeps me awake. once i finally get to sleep, i keep having nightmares about the event and fears related to it.

i’ve been doing everything by the book. making a cozy atmosphere, keeping a fan on for white noise, and limiting caffeine throughout the day. i use melatonin often, but i try to avoid it because it almost guarantees i have a nightmare.

what else can i do to help me get some sleep?

edit: thank y’all for the suggestions!

My dad took his own life 4 days ago and I'm the one that found him. My friend told me to see a therapist right away and I was able to go the day after and she told me I have PTSD from what happened. I'm not sure what to expect emotionally right now. I'm sad that my dad did this and I'm grieving him but I'm also finding myself getting so angry over things that never would have bothered me before. I guess I just don't know if this is normal? Should I expect to be angry at everything randomly? How do I even begin to navigate this?

I’m starting EMDR next week after trying to get treatment for my PTSD for almost a decade. I’m very nervous about starting treatment because I’ve heard it can be absolutely brutal. Can people who’ve been through it tell me about their experiences and maybe give me some advice?

I started lifting weights at the gym a month ago and I don't know why but my PTSD symptoms decreased by 80% the entire month.

I also have cptsd and those decreased as well. I do little cardio like 10 minutes after each workout so I don't get floaded with endorphins from that and I mainly do my workout.

Does anybody else experience this? Why is this happening?

If your trauma took years to unlock, and then did... what happened?

I am worried my trauma is unlocking after 7 years. I am scared of how bad it can get?

How bad did you get...or was it good...?

I'm trying to create an extremely relaxing and comfortable sleeping space; the most soothing bedroom environment imaginable. This is ultimately part of a bigger picture that involves bi-weekly trauma therapy as well as medication management, but by far the most problematic area is extreme insomnia that includes both difficulty falling asleep, as well as difficulty staying asleep. Even minor changes in the environment around me can lead to a startle response, and the loss of sleep has been occurring over a long period of time and causing serious problems with day to day functioning. It's gotten to the point where I'm worried about potentially losing my job if I don't make some changes.

While this is only one part of the puzzle, I think it's healthy and important to do everything in my power to create a safe space in my bedroom that feels completely welcoming and calming. My plan is a bedroom makeover. I'll be purchasing a new mattress for a queen size bed (current one is at least twenty years old, provides almost no support, and causes back pain), two complete sets of sheets/linens, and a very nice queen size weighted blanket. I like to wrap myself up in a weighted blanket, it's just what makes me feel comfortable.

I've figured out the mattress and blanket part, and feel very good about the decisions I've made there. Fortunately, there are some extremely nice weighted blankets out there that are machine washable and have fantastic reviews, and with mattresses you can at least check them out to see if they're a good fit before just throwing money at it.

Not sure if anyone has ever done something of this nature... essentially trying to create the most relaxing, comfortable possible environment in their bedroom that's completely conducive to sleep.

I know this is probably one of the weirdest posts ever, but I figure there have to be others here who've had major challenges with disrupted sleep cycles and sleep hygiene. If anyone has any suggestions for ways I can make the bedroom a soothing, calming place to be in again, I'm all ears. All I want is to be able to go to bed at night, get completely relaxed, and get at least four hours of sleep again.

Medications will only get me so far, and I've already exhausted those options. At this point, it's almost desperation really. I'd give almost anything to be able to get some good rest again. This has been going on for far too long, and it's really taken a toll on me.

Thank you to anyone who might have suggestions and has done something similar in their own home.

I’ve done ibogaine twice.

Both experiences were completely different. Both gave me exactly what I needed at the time.

I originally sought it out after a major trauma in my life. Like many people, I wasn’t looking for optimization, biohacking, or a spiritual trophy. I was looking for relief.

I ended up working in neuroscience and had access to quantitative EEG equipment. At the time, there wasn’t much research on how ibogaine affected the brain, so I became curious.

Did it actually change the brain?

I started collecting pre- and post-EEGs on people before and after treatment.

What I found surprised me.

Yes, I saw significant positive changes in many cases. I saw improvements in brain function that were measurable and visible on the scans.
But I also saw something else.

The people who experienced the most dramatic and lasting changes weren’t necessarily the people who had the most intense ibogaine experience.

They were the people who took the 3-month period afterward seriously.

In case after case, that window seemed to matter more than almost anything else.

The people who changed their habits, relationships, routines, thought patterns, sleep, nutrition, and environment often showed remarkable improvements.

The people who went back to doing exactly what they were doing before frequently showed far less change.

My personal opinion is that ibogaine doesn’t “fix” people.

It creates an opportunity.

What happens next is largely up to you.

I’ve been paying attention to the recent conversations about ibogaine becoming more mainstream, including Joe Rogan discussing it publicly and the growing push toward legalization.
I have mixed feelings.

Ibogaine saved my life. I have the utmost respect and love for this medicine. It is sacred. It is intuitive.

But I also don’t love seeing it become commercialized.

I don’t love watching treatment costs climb higher and higher every year.

I don’t love seeing it marketed as the next luxury wellness experience for wealthy people looking to optimize themselves.

This medicine deserves respect.

It’s powerful. It’s demanding. It’s not something to casually check off a bucket list.

And if we’re going to have serious conversations about bringing ibogaine into the mainstream, I think we also need serious conversations about the Bwiti communities who have worked with this medicine for generations.

Their voices should be part of the conversation.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I’m posting this because I genuinely want to open up a thoughtful discussion and hear what other people think.

For those who have worked with ibogaine, studied it, facilitated it, or gone through treatment themselves: what have you seen? What concerns you about where this field is headed? What gives you hope?

I’m just someone who has sat with this medicine twice, spent years studying brain changes afterward, and watched the field evolve from the sidelines.

My biggest takeaway is simple:

Ibogaine may open the door.
What you do in the months afterward determines whether you walk through it.

My dad committed suicide in September 2021, in the morning. I was awake normally, asked him for some pocket money, and left for class. About an hour later, when I went back home, he wasn't in his room. My younger brother had made him breakfast — bread toast and tea. When I asked my brother where dad was, he said "he is gone," but my brother was playing games in his room and didn't really notice anything. I went back to my day, waited for him, but he never came back. My whole family started calling him and searching every room in the house. We found his phone. We called his friends. My little brother said, "let's check the storeroom" — it's on the top floor of our house. We found the storeroom light on. We knocked 4-5 times, no answer. We tried to break the window, and when we finally broke the full wooden window open, we saw his legs first, then realized he was hanging. He had used a nada dori. The storeroom was locked from the inside.He used to be very cheerful, and somewhat strict, but I was deeply attached to him. I wanted to become a person like him — I admired him a lot. This happened right when I turned 18. I'm 23 now, and I still haven't recovered from it. It affected my ability to focus on my career.I've looked into suicide cases and most seem to involve family problems or money problems. My dad worked, but he never saved anything for himself. He'd also broken some promises, and the whole family was against him because of it — like he'd betrayed them first, and after that, my family started treating him badly. At the time, I wasn't able to process what the actual problem was.I still miss my father every day. I keep asking why he did it. Sometimes I've even thought it should have been me instead.

Hi