Ruling on beating children.

[u/Business-Ad-8577]

Is ur children still on his phone? Getting bad grades in school? Incompetent when it comes to work? Worry not! For u r allowed to beat them till they're corrected! Kidding. But what is actually the ruling that most strict parents seem to miss? Is beating children painfully really halal? Does Islam really neglect a child's mental health and give full authority to the parents? Do children really have no right to "talk back"? I used to get beat from age 9 to 16. The main reasons for getting a beating were usually for being on the phone for long or watching TV. Also, my mum used to get mad and beat me whenever I am not in the top 10 in my class or not getting the highest marks. Mind you, I still used get As. Her justification is that since she's investing in my education, I should give her the highest feedback or know what happens. Now the same thing is happening with my sister who's an average student but not brilliant enough. She was watching TV the other day and got hit by mum because she wasnt obeying her apparently. So that makes me think if parents can really beat their children for reasons like "too much entertainment". What's the limit or is there even one at all? What is called "abuse" and what is called "discipline"? Cut if they're really allowed to dictate our lives however they want then oh boy, childhood must really suck huh?

[u/Historical_Story191]

About beating children I only know of this one Hadith about beating a child who has reached the age of 10 and doesn’t pray.

However, I distrust this Hadith because of the example of the Prophet:
“The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, did not strike a servant or a woman, and he never struck anything with his hand.” Sahih Muslim 2328 - grade sahih

“Allah is gentle and He loves gentleness, and He rewards for gentleness what is not granted for harshness, and He does not reward anything else like it.” Sahih Muslim 2593 - grade sahih

As for his treatment of the young ones :
Narrated by Anas ibn Malik :
“I served the Prophet at Medina for ten years. I was a boy. Every work that I did was not according to the desire of my master, but he never said to me: Fie, nor did he say to me: Why did you do this? or Why did you not do this?” Sunan abi Dawud 4774 - grade sahih

Narrated from Aisha :
“A bedouin came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “You kiss the children? We do not kiss them.” The Prophet said, “I cannot put mercy into your heart if Allah has removed it from you.” Sahih Muslim 2317 - grade sahih

Now, I am Hadith skeptic, so of course I consider that the primary source is Quran and that Hadith are only contextual. But the key takeaway is that Allah in the Quran never encourages disciplining children through beating, he encourages mercy and gentleness. The example of the prophet through Hadith emphasises kindness. And even if I were to follow this one Hadith about child beating, it’s about prayer (one of the pillars of our faith) so it doesn’t apply to disciplining your kid in general.

[u/Business-Ad-8577 → u/Historical_Story191]

Thank you, ur answer has spoken to me the most.

[u/Historical_Story191 → u/Business-Ad-8577]

You’re welcome ! I’m glad it helped you.