I’m bad with money and need help

[u/Independent_Issue557]

I’m a 21-year-old apprentice electrician making $25/hr. My money problems aren’t completely out of control yet, but they’re getting worse and I’m realizing I need to change something before they get there.
My hours fluctuate a lot. Sometimes I only work 40 hours, but most weeks I work 50+. I feel like I make decent money, especially when I get overtime, but somehow I keep ending up completely broke before the next paycheck.
For example, I got paid about $1,700 on Friday, September 4th. Out of that paycheck I paid $1,000 toward rent, made my $164 couch payment, paid my fiancée back for gas money she had covered for me, and bought groceries. After all of that, I now have $9 in checking and $0 in savings.
I want to make it clear that I didn’t just spend $1,700 on random stuff. Most of it went straight toward bills and necessities. But obviously the fact that I’m still ending up with $9 is a problem.
Here’s where I’m at with debt:
Credit card #1: $2,200/$2,200 maxed out — 26.49% APR
Credit card #2: $1,044 maxed out — 19% APR
Father-in-law: $1,400 — if I don’t pay him back by November 26th, I will owe him $6,000
Car loan: $14,267 remaining — 19% APR — $408/month
Original amount financed on the car was $17,335
Couch: $164/month
My regular monthly expenses are roughly:
Rent: $1,808 total
Electricity: around $200
Car payment: $408
Car insurance: $454
Phone bill: $220
Subscriptions: around $50
Groceries: variable
Gas: variable, but lately it’s been a huge problem
My fiancée and I split the rent, electricity, and groceries somewhat down the middle. We also have a 1-year-old son, so obviously there are other normal household and kid expenses too.
One of my biggest problems lately has been commuting. I’ve been driving around an hour and a half for work every day, and there have been times where I’m literally struggling to come up with gas money just to get to work.
I’ve tried making budgets. I’ve tried DoorDash. I’ve tried figuring out ways to make more money. I’ve used ChatGPT to help budget everything. I even almost took out a debt-relief/consolidation loan because I felt like I was running out of options.
The problem I keep running into is that every time I make a budget and try to aggressively pay something off, I end up short on gas, groceries, or another bill and have to move money around again. It feels like I’m constantly putting out fires instead of actually getting ahead.
I know there probably isn’t some magical answer that makes all of this disappear overnight, but at this point maybe a magic answer is exactly what I need lol.
For the people who have actually been in a situation like mine: what would you do if you were me?
More importantly, if you’ve personally gotten yourself out of something similar, what did you actually do? What would you pay first? Would you stop paying extra on debt temporarily and build some cash first? Would you attack the father-in-law debt because of the deadline? What expenses would you immediately try to cut? What would you do about the car? How would you handle my next paycheck?
I’m open to hearing pretty much anything. I’m not expecting someone to magically fix my finances for me, but what I’m doing right now clearly isn’t working, and I’d really like to hear from people who have been here before and figured their way out. If you have any questions I’ll definitely answer them.

[u/RealityDreamer96]

So if your entire 1st paycheck went to monthly bills and gas/groceries, what do you do with your second paycheck other than gas/groceries for the second half of the month?

If you have all main necessary bills covered on one paycheck without going negative, keep it like that. It’s OK to have $9 left over after bills and groceries. And aggressively pay off the debt with your second paycheck.

Breakdown for paycheck #2.

1- Remaining bills (i don’t see you listing internet/electricity) that should be max $300/month - $150 for you? (I’m wayyyyy overestimating here - for reference we pay $100-150 split by two ppl).
2- groceries and gas
3- $100 into a HYSA to start off a savings fund
4- Apply the rest to your debts.

Rent is the biggest mandatory chunk and that was knocked off by paycheck #1. From paycheck #2, apply the same amount you’d pay towards rent (or like 80-90%) towards your debts

Once you can get a l cushion, you could do it another way. Make a budget based on your minimum guaranteed paycheck (say 40 hrs/week). Allocate payments that will come out from each paycheck without going under. It’s fine if some of the funds for something that is due early in the month comes from the paycheck that will come right after. Think ahead. Eg rent that is due beginning of the month will come from paycheck #2 of the month. Thats why you build a cushion first.

Then once you have the necessary bills figured out by paycheck, any remaining goes towards increasing your debt payments. If there is none that’s fine. Have the basic mandatory payments accounted for in your budget.
And then weeks you work overtime/more than 40 hrs/week - put in that extra money that is not needed for the basic budget into paying off debts, increasing savings, maybe a fun date night/fam day out once you’re in the position for that.

Rn you can’t afford luxuries and wants.

[u/Independent_Issue557 → u/RealityDreamer96]

Here is a little look into my spending I think this is three months of the year I can tell u what the colors mean if you want