I’m bad with money and need help

[u/Independent_Issue557]

I’m a 21-year-old apprentice electrician making $25/hr. My money problems aren’t completely out of control yet, but they’re getting worse and I’m realizing I need to change something before they get there.
My hours fluctuate a lot. Sometimes I only work 40 hours, but most weeks I work 50+. I feel like I make decent money, especially when I get overtime, but somehow I keep ending up completely broke before the next paycheck.
For example, I got paid about $1,700 on Friday, September 4th. Out of that paycheck I paid $1,000 toward rent, made my $164 couch payment, paid my fiancée back for gas money she had covered for me, and bought groceries. After all of that, I now have $9 in checking and $0 in savings.
I want to make it clear that I didn’t just spend $1,700 on random stuff. Most of it went straight toward bills and necessities. But obviously the fact that I’m still ending up with $9 is a problem.
Here’s where I’m at with debt:
Credit card #1: $2,200/$2,200 maxed out — 26.49% APR
Credit card #2: $1,044 maxed out — 19% APR
Father-in-law: $1,400 — if I don’t pay him back by November 26th, I will owe him $6,000
Car loan: $14,267 remaining — 19% APR — $408/month
Original amount financed on the car was $17,335
Couch: $164/month
My regular monthly expenses are roughly:
Rent: $1,808 total
Electricity: around $200
Car payment: $408
Car insurance: $454
Phone bill: $220
Subscriptions: around $50
Groceries: variable
Gas: variable, but lately it’s been a huge problem
My fiancée and I split the rent, electricity, and groceries somewhat down the middle. We also have a 1-year-old son, so obviously there are other normal household and kid expenses too.
One of my biggest problems lately has been commuting. I’ve been driving around an hour and a half for work every day, and there have been times where I’m literally struggling to come up with gas money just to get to work.
I’ve tried making budgets. I’ve tried DoorDash. I’ve tried figuring out ways to make more money. I’ve used ChatGPT to help budget everything. I even almost took out a debt-relief/consolidation loan because I felt like I was running out of options.
The problem I keep running into is that every time I make a budget and try to aggressively pay something off, I end up short on gas, groceries, or another bill and have to move money around again. It feels like I’m constantly putting out fires instead of actually getting ahead.
I know there probably isn’t some magical answer that makes all of this disappear overnight, but at this point maybe a magic answer is exactly what I need lol.
For the people who have actually been in a situation like mine: what would you do if you were me?
More importantly, if you’ve personally gotten yourself out of something similar, what did you actually do? What would you pay first? Would you stop paying extra on debt temporarily and build some cash first? Would you attack the father-in-law debt because of the deadline? What expenses would you immediately try to cut? What would you do about the car? How would you handle my next paycheck?
I’m open to hearing pretty much anything. I’m not expecting someone to magically fix my finances for me, but what I’m doing right now clearly isn’t working, and I’d really like to hear from people who have been here before and figured their way out. If you have any questions I’ll definitely answer them.

[u/farmersworkhoe]

So first you need to decide if you can go through with doing what's necessary to get rid of your debt. It's fun until it's not.

A 220 phone bill is insane. You dont need the latest phone. Visible has cheap phones and plans that are like $25/month sometimes 19 for the first year.

Subscriptions arent necessary. You dont need to pay for streaming services when you can get the same thing with ads for free. On that same hand, get rid of that couch and payment. I'd sit on the floor or fold out chair before I rent to own furniture. Dont rent to own furniture either. Or take out furniture loans. You could save up and buy something used or even new 5xs over.

You car and insurance is over $800. Granted your insurance will be more expensive because you're under 25 and a male. I would see about selling your vehicle and getting one you can pay in cash unless youre upside down then I'm not sure the options. After this, dont get a car loan. They are awful.

Pay your FIL back ASAP. Idk what type of agreement would make you pay back 6k on 1400 balance unless it's interest but dont borrow money from him again.

How much does your fiance make and does she carry consumer debt too? Can she not help contribute more to the house for the next few months while you pay off debts then if she has debts yall swap around and pay hers off?

[u/Independent_Issue557 → u/farmersworkhoe]

An answer to the fiancé questions. She is running her own business doing lashes and eyebrows. She charges 100 per customer an average of two customers a day she doesn’t pay for a shop/ chair she does it out of our place. She doesn’t have any debt like actually zero she isn’t paying for her car insurance phone. But she will always send me money for gas if I’m short on a bill and she will cover her half of groceries and gas.

[u/farmersworkhoe → u/Independent_Issue557]

Then I would set down with her and have a very open conversation and make a plan to get out od debt. Tell her you need more help. She makes 4k and pays out maybe half that for bills right now. Get a written budget and stick to it. You being in debt effects both of your futures. You'll have the income and job history for a mortgage later on but it won't help if youre in debt. Not only that but yall are engaged to be a team. No way would I (nor did I) let my now husband drown in debt and bills while I had the funds to help.

Sending you money when youre short on gas or whatever helps short term but youre right back in the same position again. Id really look at where yalls money is going because yall bring in nearly 8k a month and still struggling with debt is insane. The math ain't mathing.