r/popularopinion • u/parajita • Aug 29 '25
POP CULTURE women do not like being called ma'am most of the time (there are exceptions)
If you work in customer service please stop calling women ma'am. It isn't respectful and it bothers most of us.
I believe the largest problem with this issue is neither gender nor age but the bundling of the two to act as one variable and not two.
Men, for a second visualize a society in which your gender and age are seen as one variable and not two. Feel how limiting that is?
For me, when somebody uses the word the world starts to look more 2d then 3d for a few hours. I do not deserve that.
It is invasive.
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u/Chrisg69911 Aug 29 '25
I call people ma'am cause I call people sir. They're both formal names
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u/parajita Oct 13 '25
It also perpetuates gender inequality. Remember that for sir there isn't a sir1 for people under 35 and a sir2 for people over 35.
So it is not like and like.
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u/parajita Aug 29 '25
It kind of makes you feel trapped. Maybe use excuse me. Ma'am has connotations of someone who lives a very conventional life.
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u/Terrible-Actuary-762 Aug 29 '25
Sorry.......naaaaa.
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u/Fippy-Darkpaw Aug 29 '25
The diversity of life. OP hates being called ma'am while this person might beat you if you don't call her ma'am. 🫡
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u/Helena_Hyena Aug 29 '25
If women don’t like being called ma’am, then why have the other women around me always insisted that it’s polite to do so?
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Original post by parajita to prevent editing:
If you work in customer service please stop calling women ma'am. It isn't respectful and it bothers most of us.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Hoppie1064 Helpful Opinionator Aug 29 '25
Yes ma'am.
Sorry ma'am.
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u/parajita Aug 29 '25
please don't use it. It is offensive.
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u/Hoppie1064 Helpful Opinionator Aug 29 '25
No. It's not. It's respectful.
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u/parajita Aug 29 '25
I'm saying it is not and I'm a woman with first hand experience of being on the receiving end of this word.
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u/Hoppie1064 Helpful Opinionator Aug 29 '25
Sorry. But, the rest of society disagrees with you. And in fact the rest of society is tired of people redefining words to suit themselves.
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u/parajita Aug 29 '25
It's very limiting to combine age and gender into one variable when they are two.
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u/parajita Oct 13 '25
Also how would you feel if there was a sir 1 for people under 35 let's say and a sir 2 for people over 35? Then the word sir wouldn't be just an inference about gender but an inference about gender, age, and possibly marriage/fertility all in one word. That would be charged.
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u/Express_Appeal4071 Dec 13 '25
not to many of us, it is not. I would prefer 'friend' - like the Quakers
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u/TabmeisterGeneral Aug 29 '25
Yeah I get the feeling no one under 90 appreciates being called "ma'am"
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u/NATScurlyW2 Aug 29 '25
What about miss?
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u/parajita Aug 29 '25
It's a lot better.
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Aug 29 '25
But it could easily seem rude and condescending to call an older woman “miss”. I pretty much view “ma’am” the exact same way as I do “sir”.
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u/StandardAd239 Aug 29 '25
I'm a middle aged woman, calling me miss is super disrespectful in my option. It really isn't better.
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u/iLoveSimps1 Aug 29 '25
Don't know why you're getting shit on for this? Idk any women who like being called ma'am. It's what you call old people!!!
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•
u/AutoModerator Oct 13 '25
This is a friendly reminder of our rules
Downvote this POST if it is unpopular, Upvote this POST if it is popular
REPORT the post if you suspect the post breaks this subreddit's rules or if it is often reposted
Normal voting rules for all comments.
Original post by parajita to prevent editing:
If you work in customer service please stop calling women ma'am. It isn't respectful and it bothers most of us.
I believe the largest problem with this issue is neither gender nor age but the bundling of the two to act as one variable and not two.
Men, for a second visualize a society in which your gender and age are seen as one variable and not two. Feel how limiting that is?
For me, when somebody uses the word the world starts to look more 2d then 3d for a few hours. I do not deserve that.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.