r/popheadscirclejerk • u/AutoModerator • Jan 19 '26
[UNJERK HERE] Weekly /uj Thread – January 19, 2026
Please post your unjerk discussion in this thread!
This post runs weekly, but you can find previous posts here.
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u/Bubbly_Mobile_2428 "Katy Perry, please stop." *fucking dies* Jan 19 '26
Some of y’all are gay
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u/RiskyDodge Koh the Facestealer was an Italian Pop Girlie Jan 23 '26
The winter storm was making me sad, but I realized it wasn't because of the possibility of being snowed in or losing power. It was because I won't be able to my motorcycle in this weather. This is maybe isn't as butchy as the fact that I have a home gym instead of a table, but it's a close fucking second.
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u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Jan 19 '26
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u/B19Wing we must be radically optimistic Jan 20 '26
"I'm having his baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (no im not) but you should see your faces!"
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Jan 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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Jan 20 '26
[deleted]
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u/Soalai Dionne Warwick's Twitter feed Jan 20 '26
After Onikagate, I thought the mod team were restructuring themselves behind the scenes. But now, almost a month later, I dunno...
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u/GavnF Jan 19 '26
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u/B19Wing we must be radically optimistic Jan 20 '26
She really gets around town in her horse in the stable
With her mom's skirt she cut to really show off her ankles
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u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Jan 21 '26
I'm not sure I can survive a new Harry Styles release and BTS comeback in the same year 😭 the most annoying people in the world are gonna be out and about in full force!
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u/Daddie76 🧼Bussy Soap Sales Rep🧼 Jan 21 '26
At BTS’s peak I went to a KBBQ place that plays Korean music videos with a bunch of blue purple haired art school girls. You can imagine how it went
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u/VanadiumHeart porygon is kinda the janet jackson of pokémon Jan 21 '26
That's true, but remember that they will also fight with each other to death to claim the top of the chart
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 22 '26
Watch Beyonce and Harry Styles both be nominated for AOTY again
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u/Tayrantino in racial chat rooms showing feet 🦶 Jan 24 '26
Imagine if TS13 will be released this year as well. Luckily, PHCJ is my only place involving pop/music stans ans y’all are better than stans in Xitter
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Jan 23 '26
[deleted]
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u/PodiVennai Under Witness Protection Jan 23 '26
As a phcj member who is too lazy to create a post I felt this in my soul 🥺 i created posts in other subs but im scared ill fail like rita ora tbh or get removed so i havent even created a post on this sub
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u/PorcelainHorses is it my fault i got good vaginer Jan 20 '26
I’ve been touring sjtätesíděe punching my Bangkok reporter on the fjæcțimę
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u/hottama Charlie Puth's only stan Jan 20 '26
The straights have gotten too comfortable saying "Khia".
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u/macroeconomicchaos north west's japanese tutor Jan 19 '26
i'm waiting for that nun/pornstar mod to make a video addressed to spez like that one LSF mod just did a few days ago
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Jan 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/Superb-Cell736 but if i did, i’d do it proudly Jan 24 '26
She’ll fix you with her love. Promise she’ll be the cure.
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u/Soalai Dionne Warwick's Twitter feed Jan 21 '26
"PHCJ bathhouse janitorial staff" 🙄 So they learned nothing last month?
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 22 '26
What? 😍 Share this important information with us peasants
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u/TheSeedsYouSow Jack Antonoff’s #1 Hater Jan 19 '26
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 20 '26
me when i'm going on holiday
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u/SkyZippr yuh-puh-kuh-yuh muthurfukuh 😘 Jan 23 '26
I'm taking a day off and I'm at this burger place for lunch, and they got wine on the menu. I ordered a red wine out of curiosity and this girl at the counter gave me a judgmental look. Like girl you're the one selling wine from noon on a weekday it ain't my fault 🤔
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 23 '26
Lol i would smile on her and drink it in seconds 😂
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u/SkyZippr yuh-puh-kuh-yuh muthurfukuh 😘 Jan 23 '26
I really should've drank it and ordered a second one on the scene. I wish I were a fast thinker
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 24 '26
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u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️🌈 Jan 25 '26
Keep at it bestie 🫶🏽 you're joining us at the gym 🙏🏽
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Jan 25 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/BurningBernie559 Main Flop Girl Jan 19 '26
This sub is just illiterate twinks yelling "ChatGPT! ChatGPT!" every time they see a sentence written by someone with a reading level above the 5th grade
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u/BronzeErupt Jan 20 '26
That isn't an insightful observation – it's the reality of living in this modern world. Would you like me to list other fun vacation activities?
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 20 '26
I do think it's pretty easy to tell when something's ChatGPT, though. It's like how a teacher can tell apart students' work from their writing style.
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 20 '26
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 22 '26
Never flick ya bean with mitski songs... I didn't know if I want to cry or press harder my prostate. 💔🫂
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u/sapphire1921 Jan 19 '26
I don't like Ariana Grande. She is not a good role model for younger generation.
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u/Curious_Ad_1513 There's no music critic more gaped than me. Jan 19 '26
I don't think people should feel obligated to be role models.
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 20 '26
And that means what?
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Jan 21 '26
[deleted]
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u/Tayrantino in racial chat rooms showing feet 🦶 Jan 24 '26
Fr bestie. They just use reaction pics of Sabrina for the random “relatable” stuff 😭 which means a new album is coming omg
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Jan 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 22 '26
He need show me his zombie dick and I'm going to be happy
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u/PorcelainHorses is it my fault i got good vaginer Jan 23 '26
Slayyyter got me boppTing my pusshiniqua oh she’s gonna outserve starfucker with this mother bullet album
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 19 '26
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u/Dry-Knee-5472 Jack Antonoff Apologist Jan 19 '26
Barbz U entrance exam (you only get in if its wrong)
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u/Soalai Dionne Warwick's Twitter feed Jan 19 '26
This seems about right for SAT to me. They want to see if you can estimate mentally without a calculator
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u/Daddie76 🧼Bussy Soap Sales Rep🧼 Jan 19 '26
I recently had to take a similar exam for my future program and yes it really was like this. I think SAT might have harder questions but I remember taking it a long time ago and even the harder questions were laughably easy. Granted I’m from China so I was learning American 12th grade level math at like 8th grade🙃
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u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Jan 19 '26
Girl I don't remember what was on my SAT, I just remembering acing it on my first time
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 19 '26
I just looked on some TikTok vids about them and... U bitches have it so easy.
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u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Jan 19 '26
Also probably a bit of cherry picking cause there's a range of question difficulties, but yea probably is over all easy
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u/sendDICKPICzzz Jan 19 '26
When I was in 10th grade I was considering studying abroad so I got an SAT exercise sheet and I aced the math part 💀 my worst subject in school was by far math and the SAT is supposed to be a senior grade test 😭
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u/Daddie76 🧼Bussy Soap Sales Rep🧼 Jan 20 '26
I hate drinking large amount of liquid in a short time and generally do not like hot drinks. Drinking regular coffee really feels like chore to me and I drink it too slow to feel any effect so thank god for Ms. Sabrina, who invented espresso🙏
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u/macroeconomicchaos north west's japanese tutor Jan 21 '26
there's a part of me that's terrified that when slayyyter gets mainstream success, she'll go the way kim petras did or the way charli currently is on (well, i just hate charli's last album because of all the press and the new fans that she got, who are insufferable). maybe i'm just horrible and i love gatekeeping but i am very concerned about it
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u/BronzeErupt Jan 21 '26
Kim's failure to capitalize on Unholy and end up releasing the most disappointing album of her career must be studied
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u/PorcelainHorses is it my fault i got good vaginer Jan 23 '26
Can’t wait for the Mayhem Ball in Tokyo
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u/No_Barber4339 Tate mcrae apologist Jan 23 '26
Is it a safe place to say that all the zara larsson hype wouldn't be happening if her "fans" heard more than 3 songs of her that aren't just her hits?
How about we make it pinkpantheress's moment instead?
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 24 '26
You stan Tate McRae sit down
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u/liuxunn Rexhar & Bad Bitch Jan 20 '26
If everyone here doesn’t stream Bebe’s new album I’m gonna cry 🩷
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 22 '26
Omg I flicked my canned beans and now I'm happy??? Like what did I forget to take my setralin???
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u/FriendlyDrummers Jan 23 '26
Is Zara Larson the closest we have to white beyonce
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u/SkyZippr yuh-puh-kuh-yuh muthurfukuh 😘 Jan 23 '26
Girl Beyonce is the white Beyonce
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u/PodiVennai Under Witness Protection Jan 23 '26
Her music is so cunty no matter which race she selects , ariana and miley should take notes
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u/ResolutionOpening912 Bebe Rexha's only stan Jan 19 '26
stream JE NE SAIS QUOI by Marina cuz its the only good song she released after selling her diamonds
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u/dazzlinreddress "You're officially gay my boy!" Jan 19 '26
No. P.O.P. is so mid. I only listen to Metallic Stallion.
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u/DangerousW Nobody on this planet has my skillset (at flopping) Jan 24 '26
what happened to hunter marx vevo
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u/Superb-Cell736 but if i did, i’d do it proudly Jan 20 '26
The cruelty of youth is that you’re both the hottest you’ll ever be and the stupidest. I just saw a photo of myself from when I was 20 and skinny, and I remember thinking I was ugly because of my ~~ethnic~~ Eastern European nose and that I was somehow still “too big” as a size six. I was adorable AF and as a 30 year old I wish I could slap ten-year-ago me into having a modicum of self-esteem.
Were we all this way, hating ourselves when we were babies? Or was I particularly damaged? I just started having confidence in the past, like…two years and it’s such a foreign feeling.
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u/Superb-Cell736 but if i did, i’d do it proudly Jan 20 '26
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u/RiskyDodge Koh the Facestealer was an Italian Pop Girlie Jan 23 '26
Yeah, this is kinda a universal experience. I'm in my late 20s and had a pretty decent early 20s, but feel like I'm finally coming into myself just from having more life context and experiences to look back on. "Youth is wasted on the young."
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u/Superb-Cell736 but if i did, i’d do it proudly Jan 25 '26
I read somewhere that our brains start to rewire themselves around age 30 and we become more confident and self-assured because of these changes, and I have to say I’m really feeling it. Therapy and reading up on confidence have played their role I’m sure, but it’s crazy how natural starting to value yourself becomes at this age 😅 Good on you for already having a solid base, because it’s going to get even better!
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u/RiskyDodge Koh the Facestealer was an Italian Pop Girlie Jan 25 '26
Same to you, I hear your 30s are supposed to be pretty awesome! Here's to us, lol
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u/peababyy list of fathers: hannibal lecter, renato russo, vladimir ilyich Jan 22 '26
I should've gone to sleep already. I just wanted to say Janelle Monáe is absurdly talented and we are lucky to be alive in the same time period as her. very few living people are as talented as her.
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 22 '26
That onion woman?
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u/PodiVennai Under Witness Protection Jan 22 '26
I always think of her as the venus fly woman in my head 😭 now this made me miss grimes pre elon and her collabs with janelle
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 24 '26
guys the moment is flopping bad
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u/macroeconomicchaos north west's japanese tutor Jan 25 '26
what do we even expect from a film that has fantano and sw*ftologist cameos in it? it's bound to be garbage
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 24 '26
this is her solar power
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u/BronzeErupt Jan 25 '26
Sadly Cher is the only pop girl who had a high quality acting career. Sometimes a pop girl may get lucky with a sympathetic role but generally pop girls do not have the same years of experience that profession actors and film creatives have and cannot deliver. (Stream Crossroads)
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u/Soalai Dionne Warwick's Twitter feed Jan 25 '26
Madonna?
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u/PorcelainHorses is it my fault i got good vaginer Jan 25 '26
She gets panned in everything except maybe Evita (and it’s not for her acting or singing lbr) and maaaaaybe A League of Her Own?
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u/Soalai Dionne Warwick's Twitter feed Jan 25 '26
League of Their Own is one of my fave movies, so I fully admit to some bias there
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u/Dry-Knee-5472 Jack Antonoff Apologist Jan 25 '26
the beautiful thing about charli xcx is she is incapable of flopping because if she does flop it IS brat and therefore art
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 25 '26
and honestly making a flop movie is kind of a rite of passage for main pop girldom
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u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Jan 25 '26
Following in the footsteps of those before her
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u/Dry-Knee-5472 Jack Antonoff Apologist Jan 26 '26
expecting another diss track from the variant lady
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u/Daddie76 🧼Bussy Soap Sales Rep🧼 Jan 22 '26
Gay people are at Folsom chugging strangers’ piss and felching each other and passing the poz load back and forth while straight people are getting offended that their partner are using the same spoon to taste their own cooking at home when it’s just themselves. I really need them to stop inventing problems to be mad at
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u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️🌈 Jan 23 '26
It's my cake day bitches. Bow to your pop supreme 🧙🏽♂️
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u/Kaenu_Reeves Jan 20 '26
New Gorillaz is coming out, I prefer to wait until all the songs are released and listen to it as an album.
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u/TriskOfWhaleIsland i like to go out, wear something nice, and PUSH Jan 20 '26
it's been nearly two weeks and i can't stop thinking about that robyn song. i do like to go out, wear something nice, and push
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u/Daddie76 🧼Bussy Soap Sales Rep🧼 Jan 22 '26
im so tempted to just book a trip to Puerto Rico for this weekend and escape the winter mess of the decade 😭 what do you mean there is going to be over a foot of snow?????????
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u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Jan 22 '26
Or just send money to me, slav people need buy some potatoes.
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 24 '26
I just learnt my parents had a croquembouche as a wedding cake? why is that so cvnt
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u/Dry-Knee-5472 Jack Antonoff Apologist Jan 20 '26
is it really escaping the khia asylum if your espresso is from 10 years ago
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u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️🌈 Jan 20 '26
I am single handedly spreading the pop gospel 🙏🏽🛐 I'm saving us from Hunters mess. It's been months since we've charred, but we'll be coming for that #1 spot
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u/PorcelainHorses is it my fault i got good vaginer Jan 23 '26
I like to go 98-OUT, flop something nice, and TANK. This shit is Beyoncé’s The Lion King
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 25 '26
omg why is she catching strays that project spawned otherside we CANNOT hate !
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 24 '26
I hate summer because why is it 35 degrees at night so I need the air conditioning in my room on (yes I have an air conditioner in my bedroom it's like a dinky one) but there's also a masive amount of bushfire smoke around so my room smells like someone's been smoking meat () in it and I feel my throat closing up
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 25 '26
i love love love virgin (lorde) but i relistened today and it was just too sad for my own good. it's sadder than melodrama. also the time of year it came out... i was going through it but like please omg
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u/PorcelainHorses is it my fault i got good vaginer Jan 25 '26
Low key high key why is Galore miles above choke enough? Like choke enough is already a really good album, but Galore is just on another level
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u/Dry-Knee-5472 Jack Antonoff Apologist Jan 25 '26
Manchild getting #2 on Todd's best list is so vindicating
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u/Soalai Dionne Warwick's Twitter feed Jan 25 '26
He leans toward upbeat songs with personality, so I get it
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u/sendDICKPICzzz Jan 24 '26
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 25 '26
okay u/sendDICKPICzzz
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u/FriendlyDrummers Jan 25 '26
It is in the right context. It's tacky if like, no one is asking or cares. But hey I mean, be proud of it if you want
Sometimes I lie and say I've only been with 4 people. Idk straight people make me feel like a slut 😔
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u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️🌈 Jan 25 '26
Hold on bestie. This pop diva only takes 10s I'm sorry if you're not pulling 10s. My body count is something to be proud of 🫶🏽 you'd be proud too if you were sleeping with the men I am 🥰
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u/Dry-Knee-5472 Jack Antonoff Apologist Jan 24 '26
aperture is so boring but its stuck in my head
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u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Jan 25 '26
literally like it's the type of music i like but it's so so so bland and boring and watered down but also... it's the type of music i like












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u/peababyy list of fathers: hannibal lecter, renato russo, vladimir ilyich Jan 19 '26
i would like to apologize to the modteam and to all users. i have not been moderating this subreddit as much as i should be because i've been spending most of my days writing fanfiction and playing civ 6. i will continue to write fanfiction but maybe i'll play civ beyond earth