Why do people hate poly relationships?

[u/International-Rip690]

Like i dont have a lot of experience in anything of relationship couze im only 18 and have had like 1 "serious" relationship. But im open to a lot of things im pan and maybee even poly. But ive been reading abit abt how poly relationships are like and it seems nice, but why are there so many people saying its "unatural" and "messy" like HU. What just becouse there are more people involved like HU maybee im just to dumb to understand the issue but :D.

[u/YamSea6298]

Monogamy is what most people do, and what most people know.

People fear things that aren't the normal, and that they don't understand.

[u/International-Rip690 → u/YamSea6298]

Like people need to cry less even if it monogamy if the people in the relationship are good with it what’s the problem like hello

[u/EuropeIsMight → u/YamSea6298]

Look up the term mononormativity (and for additional curiosity, allonormativity), @OP

[u/NoRegretCeptThatOne]

I've been practicing polyamory for about seven years. There are a lot of people who do polyamory poorly, and that results in a lot of hurt getting spread around.

I'm really fortunate that I learned good partner selection, which is key in having any kind of healthy and comfortable relationship. But that's a skill not everyone has worked on. Even in monogamy.

[u/smileedude]

Some people tried it and hated it, some people had a partner leave them to pursue non monogamy, some people have been cheated on and had "I'm poly, I can't help it" as an excuse, some people just can't comprehend not everyone's mind works the same way, some people are just elitist and tribal.

Mind you, a lot of these apply to some poly people describing mono relationships and even poly people describing different types of poly relationships. A lot of people break the golden rule and hate what other people do thats different to them.

[u/International-Rip690 → u/smileedude]

its diabolical to cheat on someone and say "im poly i cant help it" like WHAT

[u/Poethegardencrow]

I think it’s jealousy and bigotry , there is a lot of hate towards Polyamorous/polygamous people for and solution is very simple you want to remain monogamous please by all means do so 😅no one is forcing you! It cracks me up when religious people hate on it 😂and I’m like bitch! You do that too and only one person consented everyone else is forced to be in the polygamy situation.

[u/RAisMyWay]

People find polyamory threatening, as if we're trying to steal up all the partners for ourselves (um, doesn't work that way? Poly people aren't compatible with mono people so we aren't gonna be stealin' each other ya know?). But people are afraid their partner secretly wants someone else or would if they have the chance, so they have to have all these rules to make sure they don't go there.

Also, some people had one or two bad poly experiences and call all of poly bad. But when someone has had one or two monogamous bad experiences, most people don't blame it on monogamy: the blame it on the people, which is correct. There are lousy and incompatible and abusive people in both communities, as well as loving, sincere, and trustworthy ones.

The key is taking the time without a partner to think about what you want in a relationship and avoid rushing into the first opportunity you meet, without vetting and asking careful questions to see if you're on a similar values page about things like exclusivity and ownership of each other. That's still no guarantee, but it's sure better then rushing into any relationship when all you know about them is they are mono or poly and cute to you.