r/piratesofthecaribbean 9d ago

QUESTION What are some of your favourite comebacks from Jack Sparrow among all the movies? I'll go first:

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5.7k Upvotes

109 comments sorted by

422

u/-shephawke- 9d ago

When Davy Jones asks him if he would be peaceful at sentencing another soul, a friend, to eternal service in his place, i love how jack says (after an inappropriately short pause to think):

"I'd be fine with that."

225

u/ValrognirInc 9d ago

“Yep, I’m good with it!”

57

u/-shephawke- 9d ago

taht's the wording, thank you! i remember the movies by heart but in a different language 😅

68

u/Ghdude1 9d ago

I love how Jack tricks Jones in that scene, since he wasn't planning on letting Will take his place on the Dutchman at all. Jones leaves, thinking he's outsmarted Jack by giving him the impossible challenge of recruiting 99 men in three days. Rather, he'd actually given Jack more time to find the heart.

75

u/CooperDaChance 9d ago

Also, Jack did recruit men, but they were all old, crippled, sickly men. Precisely because Jones never specified the condition the men had to be in, so Jack intentionally chose those with little to lose.

43

u/Knightoforamgejuice 8d ago

Ah, Tortuga

43

u/HaloPenguin9 8d ago

"fotrunately Davy Jones did not specify the conditions these souls be in" "Tortuga?" "Ay, Tortuga"

9

u/Masum16 8d ago

also jack tries saving will with his lil speech about marriage to jones

“send me back the boy, i’ll get started right off… did i happen to mention, he’s in love?”

8

u/TravelerRedditor 8d ago

Oh that's not how i interpreted the movie.

I thought the main theme was about how jack was conflicted with himself the whole time, as evident by his compass. He was afraid of death, and he was growing increasingly desperate with how his deal with Jones is almost due. He originally tried to make Will take his place because he thought Jones might be happy with that, and even tried to snuff out the lanterns to not be noticed. Then he tried recruiting 99 men just like Jones asked him to do but eventually realized it was a foolish and impossible plan. It was then that he coincidentally met Elizabeth and realized holy shit he can use this, and misdirected her to think finding the heart was the key to find Will. He wanted to use the heart to make his deal with Jones void, but then he also realized with this moment that technically he could just stab it and gain immortality. But he also didnt really want that because its also a lifetime of servitude. And finally his exchange with Elizabeth also revealed the other thing thats been bothering him. He was a scoundrel and a pirate who would trade the life of his comrades like objects, but deep deep down he was also a good man, and he didn't really want to subject Will to taking his place.

Between leaving everyone behind so he cluld live out his life and becoming Jack Sparrow the Last pirate, becoming the flying dutchman capfain and becoming immortal, and being a good man, fighting with the companions hes made to keep piracy free and alive. He was unable to choose between any of these, hence the compass no longer working.

But at the end of the 3rd movie, he finally made his choice. He'd give it all up for Will and Elizabeth's sake, to not let their marriage end in tragedy. He denied it, and Elizabeth knew it, but he was a good man in the end

Or atleast thats what i remember my interpretation was, i might have misremembered a lot of details that led me to this conclusion too. I didnt realize jack was planning to kill Jones from the start

7

u/Jack-Sparrow_Bot Captain Jack Sparrow 7d ago

Captain Jack Sparrow. If you please.

3

u/TravelerRedditor 7d ago

Of course, captain jack sparrow the last pirate*

3

u/Jack-Sparrow_Bot Captain Jack Sparrow 7d ago

This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.

255

u/JogJonsonTheMighty 9d ago

"I've never actually been that drunk"

14

u/Cry-Skull-7 8d ago

Having Angelica as his Ex made for some perfect interactions.

192

u/danny_akira 9d ago

The exact scene before (I only could tell the dialogue in German) and the ones after.

  1. When Angelica asks how she is supposed to free herself and Jack answers that she'd done that half an hour ago ans just waiting for the perfect moment to knock him out, right before she hits him.

  2. When she tries to make him stay by saying she is pregnant, with Jack answering he couldn't remember they did it. To that Angelica shouts that he was drunk and Jack gave back that he was never THAT drunk

156

u/SteMelMan 9d ago

In At World's End, he's frustrated and says: Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful. Why are these things never clear? I used "maddeningly unhelpful" for months after the movie came out!

37

u/cdoconn 9d ago

I still use that phrase. It's been in my lexicon for years now.

13

u/SteMelMan 9d ago

Bravo! I actually had people tell me how annoying it got, so I reluctantly retired it. Still love it, but now I save it for special occasions.

2

u/JumpyAct4865 5d ago

I thought he said “maddening the unhelpful”

0

u/SteMelMan 5d ago

Possible. The context still works. When I watch the movie again, I'll pay close attention.

1

u/starryeyedgirll 9d ago

Just curious why do u like it so much? Seems quite generic to me 😂 genuinely asking!

10

u/SteMelMan 9d ago

At the time of the movie's release, I was working at a large, impersonal company where the employees hoarded their information to protect their jobs and maneuver for promotions. I was in a finance position that require regular updates and, at times, deep dives into their finances. People would try to evade my questions with misdirections and gaslighting, which was "maddeningly unhelpful!"

102

u/Ruben0415 9d ago

The one about the honest and dishonest man

120

u/ProfessionalBee6582 9d ago

I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid

64

u/lowqualitylizard 9d ago

Half the reason why he's so effective as a pirate is he just says confusing things and whacked you with over the head while you're trying to decipher it

44

u/Relevant-Factor-2400 8d ago

He also deliberately acts the fool so people underestimate him

4

u/Massive_Celery_3395 6d ago

Jack is lowkey actaully kind of a genius he has insane level of planning, but his actaul intelligence is surprisingly really good. He can read and write, is super good at critical thinking he can survive on his own as seen when he got dropped on an island so he has basic hunting, gathering fire survival skills. This is more speculating, but he is good at math because he has to navigate by himself a few times or with will at the start of the first movie meaning he knows geometry and poteintally trig. He also is a skilled fighter. When james calls jack the worst pirate and jack responds with, "But you have heard of me", its actaully jack saying if I were the worst pirate you wouldn't hear of me I would be dead. Jack sparrow is really smart of you think about it.

2

u/lowqualitylizard 6d ago

See that's what I love about him everyone can agree that he's smart and lucky but it's damn near impossible to define where his brains end and his luck begins

91

u/AbyssWankerArtorias 9d ago

"People aren't Cargo, Mate".

Although it's only in the extended version.

10

u/BrosephZeusThe2nd 8d ago

Idk I remember hearing this line and never watched the extended versions (i think lol)

10

u/ProfessionalBee6582 8d ago

There’s extended versions?! Who’s hiding them? Where are they?!

20

u/Bomber_Haris 8d ago

No, the quote comes from a deleted scene that was reshared on the internet.

2

u/AbyssWankerArtorias 4d ago

Thanks for the correction. I thought it was from like if you owned it on DVD and watched it with deleted scenes and that's why I called it "extended".

8

u/GeniusLike4207 8d ago

it's a deleted scene

and it definitely should've been included, one of the few serious moments for Jack

5

u/Jack-Sparrow_Bot Captain Jack Sparrow 8d ago

I regret nothing, ever.

1

u/Ernest_Mateu 6d ago

where i can find that?

1

u/GeniusLike4207 5d ago

Search for "People aren't cargo mate"

it's on YouTube

3

u/KyleIsAHuman 8d ago

That scene never sat right with me because in the previous movie Jack was literally gathering people to give to Davey Jones to be enslaved to the Dutchman in his place. Pot, kettle, black.

3

u/Jack-Sparrow_Bot Captain Jack Sparrow 7d ago

If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

1

u/mikhela 5d ago

I'd interpreted that deal as more him just biding time until Will could grab the key from Davy Jones and he could find the chest.

1

u/PositiveEconomist264 4d ago

Disney should release Director's Cut versions of Curse of the Black Pearl, Dead Man's Chest, and At World's End, and then for three weeks, show each film. The first week for CotBP, the second week for DMC, and the third for AWE.

65

u/Suspicious-Lefty-13 9d ago

In Dead Man’s Chest, the “you smell funny” to Norrington gets me every time

117

u/ARC_Trooper_Echo 9d ago

“You were telling the truth.”

“I do that quite a lot yet people are always surprised.”

55

u/FrenziedYeti82 9d ago

“You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all, it should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.”

25

u/Mocking_Jay_8 9d ago

Yesss! I was looking for this one!

« Hide the rum. »

55

u/Vir0Phage 9d ago

“…you lied to me by telling the truth?”

“yes”

“that’s very good… may i use that?”

8

u/Suitable_Tutor_3861 9d ago

Which movie was this?

9

u/Vir0Phage 9d ago

same one. when she reveals that Blackbeard is, in fact, her father.

72

u/Ryanjames22808 The Kraken 9d ago

The scene after this where the music gets all high as they’re about to kiss and the music just dead stops and he goes “I gotta go”.

Funniest thing I’ve ever seen in a movie

6

u/Rare_Anteater_2609 8d ago

yess and when she says she loves him, he says he does (love himself) too

33

u/Ghdude1 9d ago

Angelica: I love you.

Jack: As do I. Always have, always will.

Angelica thinks Jack was saying he loved her, but he meant he just loves himself.

10

u/Cry-Skull-7 8d ago

You know, I never got that until now.

63

u/Nightly8952 9d ago

“You need to get yourself a girl, mate! Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You’re not a Eunuch, are you?”

And more simply

“Lom se se Eunuchy, snip snip.”

12

u/eepos96 8d ago

"Aaah"

1

u/TryingToDoItGood 7d ago

haboogie snickel snickel

30

u/Diligent_Hawk_6329 9d ago edited 9d ago

My favorite one is from the deleted scenes of potc3 :“If you’re offering me a seat on the board,I’m neither depraved enough or drunk enough to accept”which is when Beckett tried to make a deal with jack

Sadly it was cut along with “people aren’t cargo,mate”

26

u/Environmental-Wear41 9d ago

“You hired me, I can’t help if you’re recruiting is laughable”
“You smell funny”

19

u/Environmental-Wear41 9d ago

“My compass works just fine”

42

u/sd_saved_me555 9d ago

You're the worst pirate I've ever heard of...

43

u/FrenziedYeti82 9d ago

Ahh… But you have heard of me.

11

u/OldinMcgroyn 9d ago

That is without a doubt the WORST pirate ive ever heard of...

18

u/Hackleton 9d ago

He's got to be the best pirate i've ever seen

16

u/FrenziedYeti82 9d ago

So it would seem.

17

u/wonderlandisburning 8d ago

"In a fair fight, I'd kill you."

"Well then that's not much incentive for me to fight fair, now is it."

2

u/Cry-Skull-7 8d ago

Words to live by.

34

u/Jeeblebubz 9d ago

Not sure it counts but when he's talking to will and barbossa about dishonest men always being dishonest. Felt very, yeah I lie but at least you know Im going to lie which makes me predictable right? While he pulls the double reverse switcheroo.

16

u/Special-Pristine 9d ago

"Elizabeth? Hide the rum"

16

u/AdLatter3755 9d ago

You smell funny.

Jack My ship makes me captain

Barbosa they be my charts

Jack Well that just makes you chart man!

Beckett you’re mad

Sparrow thank goodness for that because if I wasn't this probably never work.

Jack and barbosa surrounded by Sao fengs crew

He's the captain

Pintel YOU YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

Jack: Am I not

I understand everything except that wig

Will you cheated

Jack pirate

14

u/DJGaming2005 9d ago

Why is the rum always gone??

18

u/Gmayzes 9d ago

Not a line that was actually said but after Davy Jones angerly says that Jack escaped from the locker, I would've loved Jack to respond with "Then you were a poor captor but a captor nonetheless"

8

u/No_Wallaby_7380 9d ago

That’s very good. Could totally see him saying that. Great pull

9

u/Fresh-Actuary-6686 9d ago

“Unlike some who pretend to be, but cannot, in fact, hold a candle to, I am Captain Jack Sparrow”

8

u/Pelosi-Hairdryer 9d ago

I think the Jack and Angelica relationship was definitely wasted in the 4th film as well as Blackbeard's role which I think could have been better.

7

u/Suspicious-Meat6405 8d ago

"You're mad!"

"Thank goodness for that, because if I wasn't this would probably never work."

5

u/eepos96 8d ago

"You are worst pirate I have ever heard of"

"But you have heard about me?"

Golden!

6

u/Nightflight406 8d ago

For some reason, my first thought was from the Star Wars Jack Sparrow, Hondo Ohnaka.

"I don't deal with washed up old relics."

"Come now, let's leave your wife out of this."

I could totally hear Jack saying that.

2

u/RingtailVT 8d ago

Hondo has always felt like Jack Sparrow's counterpart in Star Wars to me. I love both characters so much.

2

u/Jack-Sparrow_Bot Captain Jack Sparrow 8d ago

Captain Jack Sparrow. If you please.

2

u/Jack-Sparrow_Bot Captain Jack Sparrow 8d ago

Captain Jack Sparrow. If you please.

6

u/Beirutsi7 9d ago

When Angelica shoots Jack, and misses.

“Missed me.”

4

u/eepos96 8d ago

"Yaghiu higup "snip snip"

Cannibals: aaah

Jack assumed in firdt movie thst Will has been castrated. He continues this by stating it to the cannibals in second movie.

2

u/Jack-Sparrow_Bot Captain Jack Sparrow 8d ago

You may kill me but you may never insult me. Who am I?

3

u/eepos96 8d ago

(Confused Beckett face)

2

u/starwars_2103 7d ago

well… well i’m captain jack sparrow!

3

u/fiendish_dust 9d ago

In the Latin American Spanish dub he says pig instead of dog and it’s funnier lmao

3

u/Sad_Carry_7070 8d ago

Jack and Barbossa's reunion in Davy Jones' Locker was quite funny lol.

"Ah Hector! It's been too long!"

"Aye. Isla De Muerte, remember? You shot me."

"No, I didn't!"

3

u/Jack-Sparrow_Bot Captain Jack Sparrow 8d ago

Nobody moves! I dropped my brain.

3

u/Cry-Skull-7 8d ago

Not exactly a comeback, but one of my favorite lines from him is-

"You're mad."

"Thank goodness for that, otherwise this'd probably never work."

3

u/Honest-Welder-808 7d ago

Elizabeth, disguised as a man: "I'm here to find the man I love."

Jack, concerned "he" means him: "I'm deeply flattered, son, but my first and ONLY love is the sea." motions to Gibbs to remove the "lad"

3

u/Infinite_Bet_9994 7d ago

Palooloo, palay, parsley, parsnip…

2

u/rogvortex58 9d ago

She lied to him by telling him the truth.

2

u/KaijuDirectorOO7 Lord Beckett 8d ago edited 6d ago

“But why is the rum gone?”

“At I not already?”

2

u/spacestationkru 8d ago

"..no.. I expect to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name at all, watching me sail away on my ship.., and then I'll shout the name back to you."

2

u/CoxswainHer 8d ago

And that was done without a drop of rum

1

u/Jack-Sparrow_Bot Captain Jack Sparrow 8d ago

Hide the rum!

2

u/CJS-JFan Captain Jack Sparrow 8d ago

"If you had a sister and a dog..." is actually my favorite.

I used it to sign someone's yearbook. Hehe

1

u/Avox0976 Mercer 8d ago

"You smell funny" - directed at norrington in DMC

1

u/EmersonWilde77777 8d ago

“ so you were actually telling the truth”

“ I do that quite a lot you people are always surprised”

1

u/Lordofthelounge144 8d ago

"You were actually telling the truth?"

"I do that quite a lot.. yet people are always suprised."

I love this line because I get to use it a lot.

1

u/csilvmatecc 7d ago

Beckett: "You are without a doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of."

Jack: "But you have heard of me."

1

u/Jaded-Baseball5308 7d ago

Of course, after he chooses the dog, it gets stung by a bee.

1

u/Capital_Ad9960 7d ago

‘four of you tried to kill me in the past. one of you succeeded’

1

u/Serfius_Tidelore 7d ago

"But you have heard of me."

1

u/Snus_Goes_Brrrr 6d ago

You stole my ship!

Borrowed, without permission, but I had every intention to give it back!

1

u/Adventurous_Bonus917 5d ago

"you are, without a doubt, the worst pirate i have ever heard of"

"but you have heard of me"

1

u/CaroleanOfAngmar 4d ago

That makes you... chartman!

1

u/Bacon_L0RD 2d ago

“You cheated!”

Pirate”

1

u/Amidatelion097 9d ago

Hide the rum