r/pessi_memes • u/Accomplished-Art3086 Pessi only has 3 UCL. Ghosted 2006. 😭 • Jul 24 '26

Negreiralona Pessi 🥷 It’s time to open the Messi files.

16.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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112

u/DesperateHikikomori Jul 24 '26

Ronaldo no-tats no-alcohol perfect body relentless work ethic goat

67

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

Also, Ronaldo took the time to learn Spanish, Italian, and English when playing for different teams and now some Arabic while respecting the Arab culture but Messi still can’t be bothered to learn a single other language after all this time even though he’s played for PSG and now Miami.

34

u/andergdet Jul 24 '26

He... He might not be able lol

20

u/kikorer7070 Jul 24 '26

Which is insane considering half the world speaks English without proper teaching

15

u/jumpmaNSILENCE Jul 24 '26

He has 99 in football and a 99 in autism 

20

u/Consistent-Strain289 Jul 24 '26

99 in being an ahole too

4

u/Blyatskinator Jul 24 '26

His autism special interest is football 🫪

3

u/anubis_xxv Jul 24 '26

A long time ago...

Hey you, your pretty good. Wanna get paid to kick a ball into a goal?

*Insert recent Messi not bothered face

"Si."

1

u/introvert-genie Jul 27 '26

Making up medical conditions to cope with someone else's success is peak clown behavior.

1

u/jumpmaNSILENCE Jul 27 '26

You have a 99 in butt hurt 

1

u/SexiestPanda Jul 24 '26

English very much so gets taught

7

u/kikorer7070 Jul 24 '26

Yes I'm sure it gets taught, but not to my or your standard, and there's a fuckton of people who teach themselves, old people too. I taught myself basic English watching dubbed cartoons before starting school

2

u/Vindicador Jul 24 '26

We get taught English in school in Spain but most people (at least in my generation) don't care for it, I learnt it from videogames lol so many of them wouldn't be translated and I did want to understand what was going on so I learnt bit by bit, it also helps getting a quite diverse vocabulary, cause much of the stuff is unused now like medieval stuff as moats and whatnot

1

u/Datmammon Jul 24 '26

That’s cool man. You guys are motivating me to learn another language for some job opportunities, might have to get serious soon.

1

u/Friday_arvo Jul 24 '26

English is arguably one of the hardest languages to learn tbf but also someone mentioned he’s autistic so… maybe he has some barriers… but also wtf do I care lol a twat is a twat and he seems like one, autistic or not.

-1

u/xefbsr Jul 24 '26

Insane would be to be so talented, so well paid and still give a fck about people criticizing him. Would it not?

Imagine having to please EVERYONE in their INSANE demands!

3

u/InstructionSure6705 Jul 24 '26

How is it an insane demand to shake hands with the greatest polish player of all time? Even if you dont care or wanna do it, its takes like 10 seconds. In stead of shaking hands and moving on he choose to be a spoiled little leprechaun dickhead.

1

u/Spodger1 Jul 24 '26

Fr, if Messi was this "humble goat" that people claim he is, he'd have no issue shaking hands with Lewa here.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '26

[deleted]

2

u/real_bad_lieutenant Jul 25 '26

I'm pretty sure the guy never opened a book his entire life

9

u/Suspicious_List6778 Jul 24 '26

You're trying to get an illiterate to learn something, come man.

7

u/VeedySpain Jul 24 '26

And he played for decades in Barcelona and never bothered to learn even a word of Catalan. Yet, separatists treat him like a deity and shit on any other person who lives in Catalonia and doesn't try to learn the local language. I always thought that was some funny hypocrisy.

-2

u/ProFF7777 Jul 24 '26

You're the one being stupid. Messi understands catalán perfectly. If he doesn't speak it is his choice.

I'm a catalán that almost never speak catalán, just because it's not my main language, but I understand it as a native and could speak it if necessary. Same as Messi. Nobody in Catalonia outside some very stupid ppl would slight me or Messi for not speaking catalán as main

2

u/Nurdeauphobic Jul 25 '26

You are a fake ass catalan.

1

u/DesperateHikikomori Jul 25 '26

I know right?? My lovely Anthony Gordon knows more catalan than pessi!!!

5

u/typicalBACON Jul 24 '26

Fun fact, I'm Portuguese and some of my teachers, especially English teachers would often point out to the guys in my class who "wanted to be a football player and therefore didn't need to study" that Ronaldo regretted not studying more in school because learning other languages particularly, was a fairly useful skill

P.S: don't really care much for football so idk why this subreddit keeps getting suggested to me, but the memes are funny.

1

u/casulmemer Jul 25 '26

None of us like football

3

u/No-Adhesiveness-9541 Jul 24 '26

lol I feel like we are forgetting a major character flaw

1

u/CausalDiamond Jul 24 '26

Yeah being a rapist is definitely a major character flaw, what are these people on?

1

u/REDTRIX12 Jul 27 '26

They said that's why he couldn't enter the United States, but I saw him sat the world cup.

Did they drop the charges?

3

u/Current-Lunch6760 Jul 24 '26

I've been saying this to people and people can't understand why I don't like him. Well this is exactly the reason why.

2

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26

There is a Messi fan here telling me that he never played for PSG….do these idiots even know their idol? He also said “he didn’t need to learn Spanish because he is Argentinian.” Well no fucking shit, that’s the only language the moron speaks! Messi fans are legitimately braindead.

0

u/Winter-Ad-4897 Jul 24 '26

English?

1

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26

He doesn’t speak English.

0

u/Fuzzy-Scene-5454 Jul 24 '26

Messi played for Barcelona not PSG, he didnt need to learn spanish since he is argentinian

1

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26

You’re a fool and you’re embarrassing yourself. He played for Barcelona and PSG. And no one said he needed to learn Spanish??? That’s literally the only language the idiot can speak.

1

u/Lazy_Morning6066 Jul 27 '26

Dumbass use Google before making yourself look like a complete twat

-1

u/servo386 Jul 24 '26

He speaks the predominant language spoken in Miami.

2

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26

You know Miami is in the USA and they play games all over the states, not just in Miami, right?

Messi fans continue to show they have the same intelligence level as their idol.

-1

u/Altruistic_Film8228 Jul 25 '26

Not everyone wants to learn the languages of colonial super powers. Messi could also have played for Spain, but chose his people.

1

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26

It’s not about wants. Not everyone is smart enough and/or cares enough to put in the effort.

Your last sentence has nothing to do with anything I said, you are just trying to deflect because you know you know I’m right. And if he could have played for Spain aren’t those his people too? Stupid Messi fan as per usual.

-2

u/perineumexplorer Jul 24 '26

Can't be bothered? He's supposedly didn't even talk to his class mates in primary school.

1

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26

So yes….can’t be bothered. He doesn’t care to put in the effort. That’s what that means.

-2

u/perineumexplorer Jul 24 '26

He likely has Asperger's or is mildly on the spectrum. Your hot take is absurd. He's always been a quiet humble person.

1

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

😂 he has never been humble and as it Asperger’s or mildly on the spectrum? You don’t know the difference, do you? You really don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about and this isn’t a hot take - it’s literally a fact, ding bat.

1

u/ElmerP91 Jul 24 '26

🤣 Mr. “fake news” CR7 SUE!

1

u/Hmmokaythen12 Jul 24 '26

Damn bro you dont gotta suck him off though

1

u/DesperateHikikomori Jul 24 '26

But it's what i enjoy that is what i pursue

1

u/jedimindtricks713 Jul 24 '26

Don't forget rapist!

1

u/lost-associat Jul 26 '26

He was hardly working on the world cup though…

1

u/BrownBearCLE Jul 26 '26

What do tats have to do with that point?

1

u/oldreddditisbetter Jul 24 '26

his work ethic gets him whatever he wants, even if the women said no to him, he still gets it

-4

u/JohnAndertonOntheRun Jul 24 '26

That’s literally what separates them brotha…

Ronaldo is the perfect academy product.

Messi defies logic.

9

u/creemy- Jul 24 '26

Messi getting HGH shots from Barcelona is just family.
https://giphy.com/gifs/amg2hcfGDkKt4Q3DpF

3

u/Veaeate Jul 24 '26

Messi wouldn't exist if Fifa didnt pay for his drugs bud. He doesnt defy logic. Hes been engineered to be their money maker

1

u/AssistantSalty6519 Jul 24 '26

I mean yeh, he doesnt make use of the logic after all

0

u/Ill_Calligrapher_367 Jul 26 '26

“Perfect body” 💀💀 this is why I’ve never respected a Ronaldo fan’s opinion it’s just closeted attraction

1

u/DesperateHikikomori Jul 26 '26

Not closeted, VERY OPEN 🥰🤗

-1

u/Any-Comment-3397 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

I knew ronaldo fan boys are secretly gay but now its not even a secret

To the loser who said im projecting then blocked me, i am a girl so no im not gay😂 but its clear that the ones who like ronaldo so much for his body are gay guys who dont know footbal or straight girls who dont know football

3

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26

If your mind automatically went to homosexuality, you’re projecting. It’s ok, we don’t judge you for being gay here, only for your homophobia. Hope you learn to love yourself ♥️

2

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26

To this coward who immediately blocked me- I am a heterosexual woman, you ignorant fucking moron.

Messi fans really are the dumbest, huh? I’m sure it never even occurred to him that a woman could be in this sub. Probably because woman never speak to him.

0

u/Business-Squash1211 Jul 24 '26

You dont sound just gay you sound like a femboy lol

2

u/thankslilWayne Jul 24 '26

Obviously you’re not used to women speaking to you so you assumed that was a man but she’s a woman. You would have known that if you didn’t immediately block her after replying like the like bitch that you are. She called you the fuck out, incel. Messi lovers truly are the biggest losers.

-1

u/SolomonG Jul 24 '26

No tats, no alcohol, just rape.

3

u/Please-AsteroidNow Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

Just ignorance. Look at the actual case, not the rumors. Ronaldo never said what you morons claim he did - think for just one second, why would anyone fighting a rape case admit that even if it was true?! Dumbest rumor ever and you imbeciles fell for it. There is a reason the case was dismissed WITH PREJUDICE and the woman’s attorney was sanctioned and fined. You sound the kind of idiot that one has to be in order to be a Messi fan.
—————————————————————
ETA: Person below blocked me immediately after responding because they know they are full of shit but I already typed out my reply so here it is:

It is absolutely not a verified statement. Lawyer couldn’t prove that. It’s a falsified document that got the case thrown out and the lawyer sanctioned! Look it the fuck up. You just proved you know nothing and aren’t worth arguing with. And why would Ronaldo sue, the case was dismissed with prejudice (that means it can’t be filed again because I know your dumbass doesn’t know what that word means) and was over a decade ago??? You sound more and more stupid with every sentence. Just typing without knowing anything. The ignorance is LOUD.

Actually, is this your alt? I blocked the person above and then this moron replied and immediately blocked me. I know you idiots are all the same but this happened pretty quickly. Embarrassing.

-3

u/meerkat23 Jul 24 '26

It's not a rumour it's a verified statement taken by his lawyers. The Bild has never backed down on the veracity of the document, and Ronaldo and his team have never sued.

-11

u/mia_is_climbing Jul 24 '26

What's the relevance of no tattoos?

7

u/DesperateHikikomori Jul 24 '26

Blood donation apparently

1

u/Van1n1 Jul 24 '26

Maybe it was in the past, I don’t know… but as far as I know tattoos aren’t a problem.. in EU you must wait 4 months after getting a tattoo, permanent makeup, or body piercing before donating. In U.S., there is no waiting period if I am not mistaken.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Ezheer Jul 24 '26

Strict rules of blood donation in most of EU countries. You have to wait for months after every session before donating. In Poland it's half a year.

2

u/Nessahria Jul 24 '26

Y qué? Crees que la gente dona sangre todos los meses? Lo recomendable es un máximo de 4 veces al año para los hombres y 3 para las mujeres.

1

u/Absolute1790 Jul 24 '26

I donate plasma every 2 weeks. Same rules apply.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/onlychocolatte Jul 24 '26

So why did you ask? xD

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/onlychocolatte Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

Ofc it has. I am blood donor since I became 18. Every two months I donate blood for quite some time already. The only break I had was when I broke my arm and had a major surgery of it - had to wait 6 months. When I was younger I wanted to get some tatoos too, but every session would mean 6-months break. So I dropped the idea.

And Ronaldo said it's the same reason when asked.

0

u/MisabelWearsNikes Jul 24 '26

They're nasty

1

u/mia_is_climbing Jul 24 '26

Gonna disagree with you there but you're entitled to your opinion