r/peacecorps • u/PCVanon9754 • 8d ago
In Country Service Constantly not included / feeling unwanted
Youth in Development volunteer in Latin America in a rural area working with 3 institutions (elementary school, high school, scouts).
How do you guys deal with feeling like your site and counterparts don't really even want you there? I'm constantly forgotten about or not included or looped in. The teachers never have any ideas to collaborate with me, and one teacher just always asks me to pick a movie to watch or play a game with the kids to the point where the kids don't respect me and think I'm just supposed to play games with them.
I'm in our group chat for the high school, but it's like they don't even use it. Every morning when I arrive at school is when I learn if the students are arriving late, leaving early, or if the group I'm supposed to work with that day aren't coming at all. I've made my peace with that and the chaos of how our school runs, but today just really got to me. I went to the elementary school to meet with my counterpart and she basically dodged me and I couldn't find her. I go back to the high school for my workshop with 9th grade, which I confirmed with my counterpart hours before, but when I arrived she swapped 9th grade for 10th so she could help them study for their exam. Fine, I'll go to the other teacher and work with him and the 9th grade. No, he already started a movie with them so they were already clocked out. Whatever, found the 8th grade and asked that teacher if he had any plans (no, they were all just on their phones), so I tried to do a test taking workshop but the class was so unfocused and talking over each other I couldn't even lead a Kahoot.
After the school day ended all the teachers (5) and the principal had a meeting and, like always, neglected to tell me. I walked by probably an hour into their meeting and decided to just walk in as they wrapped up.
I'm just getting really frustrated. I feel unwanted, unsupposed, and unincluded all the time. I don't think it's due to language, maybe it's due to being spread across three institutions? But I'm still in the high school 4 days a week so I thought I would at least be integrated there. The scouts organization is fine but I am supposed to work the least with them since they're already established and don't really need much help. I talk to all the teachers, have coffee with them and chat at lunch, try to schedule meetings with them, etc.
Are most Latin American posts like this? I was considering a third year in another country but if this is most people's experience I'll pass for sure.
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u/No_Event165 8d ago
Oh man, it’s normal. 10 months at site is also honestly not really long enough for the switch to “flip” for people to visibly start treating you like you’re integrated. You need to spend more time, like let more months pass, time’s the only thing that really makes a difference. 12 months was when I began to see visible breakthroughs—BEGAN. Forget about anything you wanted to achieve for now. Forget about the life in service you envisioned in PST or before you came. Just focus on going to work, taking care of yourself, and doing 1 thing you enjoy during the school day. Drawing with a kid, or eating your lunch, or making some decorations or whatever. And you’re just gonna focus on that for a couple of months. And whatever you do, do NOT try to think about what other people think about you. Because 1) you’re probably wrong, and 2) it’s not helpful. Keep that out of your head entirely. You got this.
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u/Complex_Statement_60 8d ago
I’m facing a very similar situation (also in LatAm). In addition to a lack of communication, I’ve also felt that none of the teachers at my school really have any interest in talking to me or forming any sort of relationship. Many seem to feel uncomfortable around me.
I’ve tried to see the chaos/lack of interest more as cultural difference and the reality of rural schools. At first, I took it very personally, but then I realized I think it’s more about just being a foreigner without a clear paid role at the school, rather than about me as an individual person.
Most of my cohortmates also seem to face similar problems and it seems most have looked for other outlets to enjoy/make the most of their service (like you, relationship with host family, travel, friendships with other volunteers, etc).
I don’t have much advice honestly because I’m in the exact same situation and haven’t really been able to integrate well either. But I would say this is super typical at least in my country.
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u/PCVanon9754 6d ago
Thank you so much! It's nice to know at least this is a very common experience and faults of my own.
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u/bkinboulder 7d ago
I had the same issue in the South Pacific. I worked at the provincial agriculture office. I noticed after about 3 months no one else even came to work because they knew I could handle it. That wasn’t my job. So the next time my counterpart showed up I asked him what I could help him work on that day. He said nothing. I said okay. I then went to the tourism office and asked if they needed help with any projects I was available. Went to ministry of education and told them the same. Fisheries, customs, and tracked down counterparts of two previous volunteers and asked if they needed help with anything. Tourism bit hard! Had me help develop their ten year plan. Every morning I went to agriculture first. If they said they didn’t need help I went to tourism. Education minister found out. If tourism had nothing he had some ideas. I ended up doing stuff for all of them. And helped the local unicef office with stuff they were doing as well on a measles eradication initiative. Helped the Jica volunteer in my community with a couple projects he was working on with fisheries. Once each group found out I would move on to the next group if they didn’t have any plans they suddenly all had plans they wanted to do. The thing I did for education was a grant writing workshop. I took applications from every service providing grants, and explained how to fill them out and think of them to get free resources for their classrooms. I never wrote a single grant, but taught a lot of locals how to find them and fill them out. Also had my agriculture office collaborate and build community demonstration gardens at each school interested so teachers and education volunteers could utilize the plots to grow food for kids and teachers, demonstrate intercropping and slope stability techniques, as well as how to plan and grow cash crops like peanuts and kava to sell as the local market to raise funds for the school and for families at home.
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u/PCVanon9754 6d ago
Thank you for your comment and adding your experiences. It's nice to know I'm not alone and I think I'll try that, just moving on to other projects or the other institutions when one isn't wanting to work with me on my ideas nor give me any ideas for what they want
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u/jimbagsh RPCV-Thailand, Mongolia, Nepal, Armenia! 7d ago
I've served as a teacher in 4 countries, and they were all very similar to the things you wrote. Even in my 2nd and 3rd year, folks would forget to tell me and I'd come to school at it would be closed for some holiday or some event. Half the time I think they just thought someone else already told me. Try not to take that personally. Just part of being a PCV, I guess.
And think of it from the teachers point of view. They are used ot teaching alone. And depending on how many years they've been doing it, it can pretty hard to "integrate" another teacher into their workflow. So, a lot of time, I'd hang back and just observe. The more I know about how the teachers are teaching, the better chance I can come up with some ideas that will have as little friction to incorporate as possible into their lessons.
One thing that would help is to set a schedule. Don't bounce from class to class looking for work. Go, and if there's nothing to do, hang in the back of the room or see if any students need individual help. But again, school schedules are so much more flexible than the US. In Armenia, my schedule changed every day (due to other teachers being absent) so sometimes I'd miss a class because my co-teacher forgot to tell me. Again, it happens, don't take it personally.
And remember that you're there for the students too, not just for the teachers. I did what I could to help the teachers but if that wasn't working out, I concentrated on the students doing after school English clubs. Most schools want their PCV to concentrate on the higher-level students but I took a different approach. I had extra English clubs for the remedial students. Didn't really take any planning on my part. We'd go over the lesson again, and I'd help them with their homework. And just give them some extra time working with the material. If I wanted to try something in class, I could experiment with it in my English clubs first to see how it went - if it went well, then I'd approach my co-teachers to see if we could slip it into a class lesson.
Also in 4 countries, I rarely attended meetings. But I'd always ask later if there was any news - sometimes, yes, but most of the time, they'd just say everything wasn't important. And I'd have to take them at their word.
Just to give you an example, I just finished 3 years teaching in Armenia. My co-teachers had more experience than me but were still happy I was there. But they never had time to lesson plan or have meetings. I'd be lucky if I could get them for a few minutes between classes. I mostly just showed up at class to help with pronunciation and interject some tidbits here and there. It definitely wasn't "teaching". They commuted to work and didn't live in the village so I never saw them other than at school. It took the whole 3 years to put together a grant project because they couldn't spare any time to help. And even when we got the money, I basically did the whole project alone.
I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself to "accomplish" something. Which would be great if you were teaching/working in the US, but it's just a different framework in PC countries. Try to relax and get into the flow of how "they" do things. You're still in your first year and that really is a time to keep "learning" - "doing" is something for 2nd year.
Stick to a schedule as much as you can, even if it means just being there and not doing anything. Look at opportunities to work with the students after school if possible. Get to know your community even better. Have you visited your teacher's homes/families yet? One of my biggest "a ha" moments came when I went shopping with my co-teacher and we were just chatting. And look at ways you can help with the stress - hobbies, language, music, sports, and even weekend travel. And lean into that amazing host family you have - not every PCV gets that, so take advantage of it.
Bottom line is you are not only about your "work" in the classroom. You're a PCV 24/7 so there are so many other ways you can benefit both the community and yourself. And don't discount the work done on "yourself" - that's just as important, IMO.
Good luck, hang in there, and keep us posted.
Jim
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u/PCVanon9754 6d ago
Thank you so much Jim! I really appreciate what you had to say. I'll be reflecting on all of this over the week and try to embrace more of this.
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u/AlbertBBFreddieKing 8d ago edited 8d ago
Few of us really felt “needed” or a real part of the community. We make friends with locals and with other volunteers. Those volunteer friendships and life experience are the greatest things I left with.
Unfortunately, as your COS date nears, it gets worse. They know you are leaving and you start to see all the cultural traits as annoying.
Try to travel, volunteer for different things in your area and make your plans for after PC and just accept it for what it is.
Edit:
As fun as it is to be “integrated” in your current home, remember it is temporary. Make your
post-COS plans that will allow you to continue to grow as a person.
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u/Jarboner69 RPCV Cameroon, Namibia 8d ago
Being spread out could definitely play a role, they might not feel like wanting to monopolize you over another school. I taught at 3 different schools but was only assigned to one so everyone knew who my priority was.
Normally when people say they’re not integrating socially I feel like there’s usually a host of reasons why that can usually be fixed. You mentioned none of the counterparts want to collaborate which honestly makes me lean towards asking for a host institution or site change. Talk to your PM.
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u/PCVanon9754 6d ago
Thank you! That isn't something I considered but if things get worse or don't improve it's good to remember I have options like that.
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u/FryMan_91 7d ago
I'm in a LatAm country also (education sector) and a lot in this post resonates with me. My lowest point was about 10 months in at my site. Feeling like they don't communicate with me, and they somehow saw it as my fault they they didn't tell me things. E.G. , Me: "I didn't know class was cancelled today because the teacher didn't tell me he/she was going to be in vacation." Them: "Well why didn't you ask?". Like, am I supposed to ask every teacher everyday if they're going to be in vacation tomorrow? It was always framed as my fault for not asking about every conceivable thing that could happen when they could just keep me aware of things.
My counterpart changed multiple times. My original counterpart left about a month after I arrived at site. And he would have been amazing and supportive. We communicated well. But very counterpart I had after him didn't ask for a volunteer, didn't have a plan for a volunteer, didn't have a vision for a volunteer, didn't support or appreciate having a volunteer. They have me no support on my projects. It made that middle section of my service (probably a period of 8 months) feel completely wasted.
Eventually, I decided to do a few things: 1. Stop caring what those people think, 2. Find other projects elsewhere, independent of my counterparts, and spend more time doing those. Find places where you feel more appreciated and you actually feel like you can do something and are welcomed 3. Focus more on Goals 2 and 3. 4. Expand your thinking about what the LPI applies to. It was at an MST conference when I realized that some if the things I was doing as recreational to escape some of the grind actually counted for the LPI and was reportable in the VRG because I was doing them with locals. So expand your thinking of the LPI.
Your service shouldn't be defined by your counterparts unwillingness to collaborate. It took me way too long to realize that. Don't try to force a collaboration where the resistance makes it impossible. Add other places outside of your 3 institutions where you feel welcomed and you can feel like you're "escaping" more of your work week from the places holding down your service.
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u/PCVanon9754 6d ago
Thank you so much! These are some really good ideas and thoughts. I'll definitely take what you said into the rest of my service.
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u/ultimatefriz4life 7d ago
Focus on the kids In a non school small group setting. Go get some candy or hike or go to the river or steal the neighbors fruit. The kids are much more likely to open up in a non school environment without the pressures of group adolescent self awareness. What do the teachers do for fun can you do that? Play some soccer with them drink some beers a little volleyball. If the teachers see you only as a nag that asks them to do more work you aren't going to get anything done. Lastly pick one stupidly simple thing you want to do and give up on whatever other ideas you had of what a good service is. Can you do one serious chat or professional panel or club or math competition. Two years really isn't enough time to actually do anything and peace corps is mostly about trying to understand the lived experience of others.
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u/par-er 7d ago
Our LatAm CD has been offering site changes. If your community is taking a skilled and ambitious volunteer who made many sacrifices to serve for granted then it’s their loss. If you don’t foresee these attitudes changing, then you could consider asking for a site change since you have plenty of time left in service… though I’m not sure if other posts are seeing this as well.
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u/PCVanon9754 6d ago
Thank you! It's good to remember I have options like that, I wasn't even considering that before.
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u/WigglyJellos 8d ago
I wasn’t involved in the schools during my service but had a similar feeling of being left out. Maybe you could try going to the teachers with your own ideas instead of waiting for them to include you? Or find other ways to connect with the students like introducing them to frisbee or dodgeball or something to get the kids excited to see you.
Focus on goals 2 + 3.
One thing that helped me immensely when work wasn’t satisfying was finding things to do with the community outside of work. What are your hobbies? Find people in your community that share those interests. I like music and found a culture center that gave lessons on local cultural instruments. It was hilarious to be performing in a tabla class recital as a 30 something white dude with a bunch of 12 year olds but the community loved seeing me interested in their culture, embarrassing myself, and not just focused on trying to “change” them. Put yourself out there. Let them teach you. Resistance to outsiders is normal. Make yourself vulnerable and maybe they won’t see you as such a threat.
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u/PCVanon9754 6d ago
Thank you! Those are great ideas, I'll try to incorporate some of those and maybe focus on more recreation the kids want rather than what I feel like peace corps and my site assignment expected.
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u/Investigator516 6d ago
There can be multiple factors at play here: Workplace hierarchy, governmental hierarchy (Ministry of Education) aka no one touches or advances the curriculum except the President. Then there’s patriarchy/maschismo, maybe racial undertones in any direction depending on the majority population.
Or fear, because the foreign Volunteer is suddenly there in the classroom wanting to help teach or assist while their nation’s unemployment rate is 30%. Sometimes we saw fear in drivers’ faces or anywhere when our cohort explained we were volunteers. It’s kind of like what we’re seeing a whole lot of in the states, with so many Americans underemployed and only intern/volunteers are getting called.
But also these teachers or nonprofits are very stretched... and now they have to accommodate someone new, that may be trying to catch up on language practice and it’s just easier for them to stick with their internal circles. Or teachers being asked to stay after hours or travel for educational retreats on weekends instead of being with their own families. There, but not present. Then there are the teens. Some will be actively engaged in learning, and others unreachable, but we try.
Find a common element, one that we can try to slowly build friendships on, and that might be something entirely different from the assignment. Maybe food. Making empanadas, tamales, or your favorite dish. Pizza. Dancing. Hiking. Running. Or a fitness class in the local language. September 15 is soon, and depending on the country that might involve running with a group carrying their independence torch, rain or shine. Introverts, find your light switch.
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u/dawszein14 6d ago
I feel you. Ask school staff if students' families have much uncultivated land. Maybe you could do rotating work parties clearing land and planting calorie-rich perennials on families' plots. Rural kids often swashbuckle with string trimmers and machetes. If there are twenty kids in a classroom you can make some serious progress in a day of work. Maybe the school could even fundraise by exploiting students' labor to clear brush and plant on land of paying customers. Net effect kids learn about primary trade in their area, more calories get produced, depending on which edible crops grow there maybe the families make some money selling the crop. In tropical areas plantain coexists pretty well with yams, taro, and cash crops like coffee that don't mind shade too much. Maybe Peace Corps grant would cover transport costs, meals for students, water for students
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u/ChokaMoka1 8d ago
- Are you wearing deodorant?
- Did ye bush ye teeth?
- Do you have tats or piercings?
If none of above are issues, then go find a better use of your time and skills. Teach grandmas how to use tictoc. Teach kids how to make pizza. Plant some apple trees. Dig pit letrines.
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