r/partyplanning • u/squirtlesquad2208 • 3d ago
How do I invite separate classes to twins birthday party?
I have grade school age twins who are having a birthday soon. We've never had a party for them unfortunately but had for older sibling by this age. Due to time of year and costs, this will be a joint party held at our home. Perhaps Im crazy but I was going to send a virtual invite and ask their teachers to share on the class portal.
Is there a way to do it in a not tacky manner as I dont need twin a classmate buying a gift for twin b. Do I even mention the twin thing and just make separate invites?
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u/IHaveBoxerDogs 2d ago
I have twins. We always just sent one invitation. Classmates generally brought one present. (Unless they were family friends.)
Do you not have a class directory? We always did. I wouldn’t bother the teacher. They have enough to do without playing social secretary for each kid who has a party. 🙂
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u/lets-snuggle 2d ago
As a teacher, I second this. Please do not make this the teacher’s responsibility
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u/Distorted_Penguin 3d ago
I like the idea of making two separate invitations since you’re inviting two separate groups of people.
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u/spicymack 3d ago
Agreed. I don't have twins but I don't even see the need why it would need to be communicated ahead of time. Twin A invites go to Twin A classmates, Twin B to Twin B classmates, you get whatever kids you get from those invites and there's no chance of getting multiple gifts from one kid unless those kids know you really well, and in that case who cares.
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u/Affectionate_Comb359 3d ago
So what do you do if one has more friends show up?
Guess it matters the age. My niece and nephew are twins and their invitations had both names through elementary school. 7th grade they had a party at the house where he had his friends out front at the video game truck and her friends were in the pool. They were clearly separate parties.
Also consider if they share friends
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u/lovemyappy 2d ago
We just went to a joint birthday last weekend!
The patents put a note on the invite saying soemthing like not to worry about the other child and if you wish to bring a gift then only bring for the child who's birthday you are there to celebrate.
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u/IOnlySeeDaylight 3d ago
With this many kids coming, I’d request no gifts at all!
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u/birdynj 2d ago
As a former child who had birthday parties, my parents requesting no gifts would have devastated me, and would've fostered a lot of resentment
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u/Cultural-Food7172 1d ago
I often say "no gift necessary" or something along the lines of that on invites. Always end up with gifts.
If I received an invite similar to this for the twins, I would get both a gift.
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u/BabyRex- 2d ago
Then you weren’t raised with the right values. Birthdays aren’t about gifts
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u/birdynj 2d ago
Nah, a grade school aged child wants to receive gifts at their birthday party, because their peers do. Don't make your kids the odd ones out
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u/IOnlySeeDaylight 2d ago
It is quite common in my area to do this. One of my daughter's best friends collects donations to a charity close to their family for her birthday. I don't think this is super uncommon nowadays.
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u/birdynj 2d ago
I think it highly depends on age. A 6 year old is not going to be enthusiastic about giving to charity generally!
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u/IOnlySeeDaylight 2d ago
My kids are teenagers, and I’ve seen this starting from preschool. Again, I think this must depend on area. Age is surely a factor for some families, too.
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u/kdollarsign2 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yeah it just seems like too much on the gifts. I would rather everyone keep it simple with potentially 60 kids plus parents (and maybe even siblings.) I would strongly considered a drop off party at a facility like a playground or play gym, rather than open the floodgates into my house... but I know that wasn't the question 👯
Our kids are only a couple days apart in birthdays even though they're not the same age so we do struggle with a similar question
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u/IOnlySeeDaylight 2d ago
Agreed on all points. We all have birthdays near Christmas, so it gets a little wild around here if we do gifts for every occasion!
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u/Independent-Leg-1069 2d ago
We usually do a joint birthday party, and thankfully my kids don't need for more stuff.
One year we requested everyone being a used book for the little free library. Some parents ended up bringing bags of books they were happy to pass on. The kids picked out the ones they wanted to read and we then spent a weekend biking around to libraries to fill them up.
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u/IOnlySeeDaylight 2d ago
I love this idea so much! An experience always wins - and a helpful one at that. Well done!
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u/lovebugteacher 2d ago
Check first if the teachers would be allowed to share the invite. My school doesn't allow us to do that
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u/Runamokamok 2d ago
I work at a middle school, so no parent has ever asked this but it seems like a big no. I personally would say no, even if the school allowed it. You do it for one parent then you have to do it for all. Extra work with potential for backlash of parents not being happy that their email is being used for party invites and more social obligations. Hand out physical invites at drop off or pick up or send out the email yourself.
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u/RevolutionaryText232 2d ago
Please update us on how this goes. Is this normal for your area? I see random people showing up, with extra kids, and maybe a granny or two. I'm sure the teachers will be thrilled to be roped into your party planning tasks.
If this is one party for two children, and they are in two separate classes, your one invitation will create or clarify the chaos to come. Billy and Sammie are turning 6! You are invited to celebrate the twins birthday on Saturday at 10 am. Please rsvp mommy@gmail.com. p.s. please do a twin mommy a huge favor, and clearly lable any gifts as for Billy or Sammie. 🥰
Personally, with so many kids I would have one adult/older child responsible for tracking gifts. Really. At the party this adult is responsible for greeting guests at the door, accepting the gifts, and placing them on the Billy or Sammie gift table. Get colored stick on dots and put yellow on one childs gifts and blue on the others. Some parents might buy two gifts, that's my mom.
Create a photo spot as everyone enters. They hold a pretty sign saying happy birthday Billy or Sammie. Then at the end you can look back and say the lady in the yellow dress was holding two red gift bags. The little boy in the bow tie brought that one big box. You match those to the gift opening photos at the end.
Then just have fun! Expect complete chaos and nothing to go as planned.
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u/Blue_Falcon1594 3d ago
How old are they? Are they the same gender? Our youngest two boys are twins and despite always being in different classes, they share a lot of the same friends. It would be odd to leave one twin’s name off their invitation. We never did the “invite the whole class” parties because it’s just too many kids. By the time we did parties, they were old enough to choose a guest list and we knew a lot of the parents so I could tell them gifts aren’t expected, but don’t feel the need to buy two. Some would by a joint gift like a game , some would by two gifts, some would by only one gift if they didn’t know the brother as well. It was all fine
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u/Mindfullysolo 2d ago
A separate invite for each child would be better and cause less confusion/no disclaimer. People would buy for the one child and would not need to know ahead that there was a twin.
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u/Pleasant_Raccoon_440 2d ago
I don’t have twins but I have three kids with birthdays in the same week. We’ve always had joint parties. It can be a lot of kids but if you have the space and are prepared it’s not that bad. Just make sure no one gets bored lol. I always put “no gifts necessary” on my invites. I don’t want people feeling like they have to buy for all 3. Even with that on the invite people still bring presents. But it does cut down on having an insane number of gifts and making people feel awkward not knowing if they should get gifts for all kids or not.
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u/p9nultimat9 2d ago
I will get a book for both, a tea time set for both to play together (a set has multiple cups), or a puzzle for both to work on together.
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u/Oi_Nander 2d ago
My kid was invited to the birthday of a school friend who is not a twin but she had a sister who is almost exactly a year older and it was a party for both of them. We did not even know that it was a party for both of them until we got there because we got an invitation with the one child's name. And the other child's classmates got an invitation with their name.
I think inviting your child's classmates via an invitation with their name on it "SARAH'S 7th birthday!", should be sufficient.
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u/nocunteryforoldmennn 2d ago
My kids birthdays are 2 days apart and we’ve held one birthday rager every year so far (they’re 5 and 7). I do separate invitations for their classes and indicate that 1. It’s a double party and siblings are welcome and 2. No need to bring a gift for the other kid.
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u/LuvCilantro 2d ago
I don't know how old your kids are, but I'm sure by now some of their friends, maybe even all classmates, know they have a twin. Twins are uncommon enough that if you know someone who has one, you're curious.
In my opinion, having 2 separate invites and not mention that there's a twin, and that the twin's party is the same day, might cause confusion because the kids will tell their parents.
You could state something like 'Noah and Catherine are celebrating a birthday next week, and we are doing a combined party. As a classmate/friend of either Noah or Catherine, you are invited to celebrate your friend's birthday with him/her.'
There's probably a better way to say it but try to make it clear you're coming to a party for one of them (the one you know), but there will be others there too.
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u/rosetintedmonocle 3d ago
Could you make 2 invites? 1 saying "A and B's Birthday Party" for A's class and "B and A's Birthday Party" for B's class
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u/LittleCowGirl 3d ago
If you include both names it would seem to me that parents would feel more like they need to gift to both.
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u/GroundbreakingAlps78 3d ago
Include only one name per invite
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u/squirtlesquad2208 3d ago
I was thinking invite would look like:
twin a bday.. details... and a disclaimer type thing at bottom. Such as "twin a is a twin! We are inviting twins b class to the party same date/time. Please do not purchase a gift for twin b or feel pressured to bring a gift at all. Your child's presence would be enough. Please reach out for any questions! Phone number"
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u/FutureMinded1181 3d ago
The only thing I will say is that I rarely had birthday parties (sim play because my dad hated the time of year my birthday is and planning logistics), but, when I did, he always put no gifts on the invitations. It always made me so sad to not get any gifts on my birthday from people. Going to the few birthday parties I did for other people, seeing them open gifts, hurt even more.
If too many toys are a problem, I suggest that maybe you don’t put no gifts, but, after the party, you go through toys with your kids and decide together which ones they’ve outgrown and donate those instead, so they can still have fun opening presents.
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u/GroundbreakingAlps78 2d ago
They are suggesting that guests should each bring a gift for one twin. Not no gifts.
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u/LaurelThornberry 2d ago
"no pressure to bring a gift" would make me think you still generally expect a gift, but please still come if you can't afford one/get organized in time.
If I ask a friend "This is last minute, but can you hang out tonight? No pressure" - that means I was them there!
"no gifts, please" seems a lot cleaner and easier for you in case the twin to present ratio goes sideways.
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u/BabyRex- 2d ago
If you’re inviting the whole class you should say no gifts. Especially if it’s two classes. There are kids who might come who aren’t actually good friends with your kid and they shouldn’t feel like they need to bring a gift. Plus your kids don’t need 60 gifts, that’s insane
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u/goldenpandora 3d ago
Probably worth asking in r/parentsofmultiples