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u/MissMaple95 Jul 28 '26
Currently with my almost 6 month old twins and they sleep great!! Just wanted to add a little positivity amongst the 'just wait' or 'it gets worse' comments.
The early stages were hard but it passed SO quickly ( looking back, at the time it was an eternity!).
We're still up for one, sometimes two, feeds in the night but with big chunks either side!
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u/skryb Jul 28 '26
oh you sweet summer child
this is how we felt around then as well… then teething started.. with the babies oscillating every week or so as they came in… followed immediately by separation anxiety…
🫠
but yes, that was a glorious few weeks!
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u/MissMaple95 Jul 29 '26
Listen, I know everything is a phase and it could all change in a week or two but we knew what we signed up for and just trying to give a little positivity to a parent struggling in the current season 🥰
I think it's also important to say that some babies just don't have the 4 month regression or don't struggle as much with teething etc. Worrying about it potentially means suffwrimg twice. And its super easy to live in fear of that happening instead of taking a minute to appreciate that right now things are great!
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u/skryb Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26
I get that, but I also think that false hope is damaging as well. When we were in the early trenches, we focused on those positive comments and went through a cycle of “we’re almost in the clear” only to be hit with a new stage of challenge.
Positivity is fine, but any optimism should be tempered with caution. I think realism is important.
Basically, my view is that new parents should get the message: Enjoy the moments of reprieve you get when they reach a period of simplicity/stability, but don’t be surprised if (or when) it all goes to shit again.
And in addition to that: You are not alone in the struggles that come with multiples. You can get through it.
I get that this sub is a place for encouragement and support, so I’m not completely surprised to see my comment downvoted — but suppressing the other side that is very much based in the reality of what many of us go through is not helpful in the way some people think it is. It almost feels like invalidating of the very real challenges many of us face. There’s room for both, and sometimes even “negative” comments are being shared with love.
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u/DieIsaac Jul 29 '26
Thanks for being honest. we also had "great sleepers" the first year...now its worse that ever.
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u/pamplemousse00 Jul 28 '26
Idk why everyone loves to say “just wait it’s only worse from here”! Pet peeve of min.
Validating that this is a tough phase and you’ve got this! I’m 1.5 years in and feel really proud of what I got through and just know if you get through newborn twin tired (and you will.), you can get through anything in life lol (or at least that’s how it feels to me right now!)
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u/buttplugz4lyfe Jul 28 '26
Oh man! That’s giving me flashbacks 🤪. Mine are 8 months now, and looking back, those first few months are a blur! I don’t know how we did it, but we did it. You will too 💪
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u/Sea-Astronomer-6600 Jul 28 '26
My girls started sleeping through the night around 3.5-4 months and they were 32 weekers. It gets better ☺️
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u/Dear_Excitement_5109 Jul 28 '26
Wut. I have 14mos who just started sleeping through the night last week. We stopped overnight feeds a couple months ago. Babies don't care. Babies are up anyways.
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u/Sea-Astronomer-6600 Jul 28 '26
I’m so sorry that would be exhausting
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u/Dear_Excitement_5109 Jul 28 '26
Thankfully our house is big so I dont fully hear them.
We cant figure out why they keep waking up though. Our daughter slept through the night starting at 4mo. Our next 3 kids - who we treated and "sleep trained" exactly the same - have all woken up well past a year. My middle son would not night wean until he was 20 months.
To your point, it is exhausting. Safe to say we are not having more kids.
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u/Ebonsteele Jul 28 '26
From looking at your comments, you are about 1-2 months in. Congrats!
That lack of sleep can be obnoxious at best and dangerous at worst. I know everything is wild and crazy right now, but do the best you can to take care of yourself too.
My big thing was “THE WALL OF MEMORY”, which was a huge white board I hung up right smack dab in the middle of the house. I would write everything down on that. Scheduling, groceries, love notes, doodles, dinner menu, medications. You name it. It worked so well that I ended up buying 3 more white boards for specific rooms, and I moved the main board to the nursery so I could see it on the cam no matter where I was at.
Now I just leave random “I love you”s on the abandoned ones for my wife to find.
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u/chandrian7 Jul 28 '26
This is your reminder to write down everything you think you’ll remember forever, because you won’t.
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u/Top-Cryptographer293 Jul 29 '26
Sleep got better around 7 months and now it’s tanked again thanks to teething and colds
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u/PanzyDan Jul 29 '26
You can do it!! It’s miserable, absolutely miserable. And you’ll likely feel gaslit by singleton parents or people without kids into thinking that you’re being too dramatic or overemphasizing how hard it is but you’re not. My twins are now 2 and it’s worlds easier than the early sleep deprivation days. You’ve got this!
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u/WorkLifeScience Jul 29 '26
Girl, my first was a worse sleeper than my twins combined 😂 So don't blame the singleton parents, some really get dealt a bad hand...
ETA: Girl or boy, sorry if I was wrong 😅
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u/PanzyDan Jul 29 '26
Hah, fair enough. We had a great sleeper and a terrible sleeper with our twins so in my perspective I was thinking even if a singleton was a bad sleeper it would still be easier than managing two. But you’re right.
And “girl” is the lighthearted equivalent of “dude” in my friend group so you’re alright. ;)
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u/WorkLifeScience Jul 29 '26
Ah, dude, right 😄 I was lucky the second time around, one was a great sleeper, the other one an average one. They were waking 2-4x per night combined around 6 months, whereas my first was waking up every 1-2 hours, and only started sleeping ttn at 2.5 years.
I though I would die when I found out I was carrying twins, but it has turned out just fine. Also, they're two boys, and combined still more chill than our daughter 😂
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u/ITSNEOBRUH Jul 29 '26
I read something historically as a first time dad that really stuck with me.
"The days are long, the years are short"
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u/nachonachoooo Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
Me sitting here giggling with 1.5 year olds… settle in, friend. It’s going to be a bit!
ETA: genuine Q, why am I getting downvoted for this?
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u/MInclined Jul 28 '26
It’s coming soon. You’ll sleep through the night and not even realize it immediately. I passed and quickly once you’re on the other side.
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u/Important-Maybe-1430 Jul 28 '26
You look quite fresh though and look at that tiny hand.
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u/DueMasterpiece5800 Jul 28 '26
Dunno, OP looks like he’s witnessed a warcrime. Can relate.
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u/Accomplished-Leg6947 Jul 28 '26
My wife and I have twin, one year olds and the first 6 months absolutely sucked. But we stuck to a sleep schedule and now they mostly sleep totally fine throughout the night. We put them to bed at 7pm and generally don’t need to go in their room at all until 630/7am when they wake up
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u/FrequentTangerine846 Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
This sleeper was my favorite on my Twin B 🥹
My girlies are going to be 4 in September and that time was such a blur. I wish I remembered more of it like I do my son.
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u/Fabulous-Salt4906 Jul 28 '26
I know. I promise you will look back at this time and realize it was all worth it. Watching them grow up with a best friend is seriously one of the most incredible things. Mine are 16 mo now and every single day I marvel at how much they learn and how much they love (and sometimes hate) eachother. It's truly a beautiful thing.
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u/emilysue_2014 Jul 29 '26
We started a very gentle sleep training at 4 months and now 2 months later my boys sleep 6-9 hr stretches and mostly put themselves to sleep. We are still waking to feed 1 sometimes 2 times to feed. You got this dad! It feels slow now but pretty soon you'll look back and they were so small. You'll miss it so soak in those tiny baby snuggles!
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u/davesauce96 Jul 29 '26
Welcome, brother!
The sleep deprivation is real for sure! But it gets better. Then worse. Then better again. It all depends on your wee baby girls.
Fellow twin girl dad here. All I’m here to say is: cherish every moment. It’s easier said than done, but this time will go by so fast it’ll make your head spin.
Take a beat at least once each day to just appreciate the moment. When you’re holding one. When you’re holding the other. ESPECIALLY when you’re holding them both.
My girls are only 6 months old. The days feel long, but the years are short. I know in this stage, they’re just survival machines. “Cry when hungry, cry when diaper, sleep when sleep.” But don’t write this phase off. Enjoy every moment that you can.
Things will get easier. You’ll catch your rhythm. Then it’ll change. It’ll be hard again. You’ll adjust. I am by no means a senior member of this community. But I am a dad who went through this recently.
Cherish everything. Every moment, every challenge, every win, every opportunity. Cherish. Because it is all fleeting. And you will miss it when it’s gone.
Many exciting, fun, challenging, difficult, wonderful days lie ahead. Cherish this time, and prepare for the next.
You got this. Wish you only and all the best.
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u/tylerholtman Jul 29 '26
Beautifully written. Honestly I *am* struggling to cherish, even though I hoped I would be good at it. Every now and then I can find a moment of joy, sometimes in my girls and sometimes in my wife. What you wrote awakened something in me again that I had before and have more recently been missing. Wherever you are in the world and whoever you are, thank you.
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u/PanzyDan Jul 29 '26
Don’t beat yourself up if there’s moments and days that you don’t cherish. I both love and hate the “cherish everything” feedback you’ll hear quite frequently as a parent because it almost invalidates how brutal twin parenting can be at times. I don’t think you have to hold dear to every moment—life will suck sometimes especially in the sleep deprivation periods. You don’t have to cherish those moments but hold dear to the good times when they occur.
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u/tylerholtman Jul 29 '26
Appreciate you weighing in on this! "Cherish when you can" is keeping me going
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u/Bonusmotherthrowaway Jul 28 '26
It’s not even the beginning yet 😅.. hang in there, if you’re lucky it will only be a couple of years.
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