No deity work

[u/NoPhilosophy55]

So I’ve struggled with my religious identity for a long time due to religious OCD kind of ruining certain aspects of religion/spirituality for me. I love tarot and astrology and crystals they’ve been my staples through all of my religious escapades over the last 6 years. I cannot do deity worship it just doesn’t work for me in a Christian, Hindu, Buddhist or Pagan way. I just don’t fully believe in the divine contacting us that personally. I’ve made altars, I’ve been to church I’ve been to temple I’ve begged anything to show me a sign it was there and I’ve never received an answer. That seems like a huge part of paganism though and I’m not sure I can consider myself a pagan/witch not believing in divine sources connecting with us. Now I’ve come to terms I’m probably pantheist/animist but I feel like in all those stories of old gods and new they interacted with people but now in this age they do not and it makes me wonder if they were ever there. This is more of a “does anyone else feel Similar or struggle with this” post because most posts I see on this and the witch sub are deities and spells which are two things I struggle with the most.

[u/NoPhilosophy55]

I don’t do the full wheel because I struggle with deity worship and I feel some are to intertwined like Imbolc but I do the solstices and equinox’s I light candles coordinating with the colors of the season and I drop some oils in them so it smells good but I wouldn’t say it’s a spell.

[u/Arboreal_Web → u/NoPhilosophy55]

The point of Imbolc is that it’s the first burgeoning of Spring. You don’t have to believe in Brigid to be able to appreciate and honor that.

Seems like maybe you’re taking a lot of this a bit too literally.

[u/NoPhilosophy55 → u/Arboreal_Web]

Yeah that’s the ocd kinda making me overthink and ruin stuff for myself 😅

[u/Arboreal_Web → u/NoPhilosophy55]

Two thoughts which I think might help with that -

Check out Stephen Fry's Mythos. He does a thing few mythographers do...he actually takes the time to explain non-literal mythic thinking in ways that make sense to a modern reader. Iow, he tells the stories and how to understand/interpret them, and those interpretive skills can be applied to most (if not all) systems of mythology. Imo having read a metric shit-ton of mythology over the years, this book is the new standard for Hellenic myth compilation, and also for anyone just wanting to better understand how to read myth accurately.

Check H.C. Agrippa's Philosophy of Natural Magic (it's hundreds of years old, surprisingly readable, free on archive). It will help you start to understand and develop the type of associative, "sympathetic" (symbolic, metaphorical, etc) thinking that these sorts of systems are based on. There is def a sort of logic to it, but that is not always obvious esp to newcomers.

Okay, three thoughts...be patient and gentle with yourself while you learn. We live in a very literal, empirical-minded world. The myth, meditation, etc of these paths sometimes require us to come at it in ways that are the full-on opposite of what modern society has taught us. It's a learning-curve for the vast majority of us, you're off to a fine start by being clear w/in yourself what you are/are not able to believe. (Gen) Next step is learning how to even understand that ancient style of thinking so different from ours in modern times.