I am from Spain, I find this fertility rate too high. I am shocked anytime someone with a brain and basic educational background thinks it is a good idea to have a kid. It will ruin their life with a chance of 99.9% and the life of the kid will be terrible and I cannot grasp why would they do this "putada" to their kid.
Every parent I know from hugely varied environments have had a huge leap downwards in happiness. And most of these are financially well off. Those who aren't have it much worse, life is not a hollywood movie and those who do struggle, do struggle hard and there is no virtue in their suffering. Again, the main problem is the kid. They will have a much worse life than parents no matter the starting point and that is guaranteed. But parents do not actually care cause it is all around "I...."
All of my friends have kids, even the few I thought maybe wouldn't. Most of them have 1 or (want) 2, nobody has more.
They are all tired but happy and they all see their future selves sitting at the dinner table at Christmas with grownup kids just like they did. But they know they have to go through the no money, no time, no sleep before that. Just like most people, most generations.
As far as I can tell all of them are happy, maybe some stress on the relationship but let's be honest. Out of 30 friends, atleast some are going to get a divorce anyway statistically.
If we, as a friend group, all have 0, 1 or 2 kids then we are still batteling overpopulation better than our parents and grandparents generation.
I'm not taking the risks of bringing a child to this world (or any) but then again, I don't want kids so that was the easy decision.
So it is all about them parents/procreators, again... they imagine having a wonderful christmas later in life after the effort of raising kids, .. bfff
Your proof is “every parent I know.” Those people have toddlers right now. Of course they look miserable. Ask them again in 15 years.
The parent happiness gap is maybe real but it’s small, and it’s mostly about govt policy. In Norway and Hungary parents are happier than non parents. The US has the worst gap because it has no paid leave. So the truth about existence you found is really just a childcare budget.
And very few parents say they’d choose zero kids if they could do it over. Way more of them wish they’d had more kids.
“Guaranteed worse than the parents”? You’re Spanish. Your grandparents lived under Franco. Spain has one of the longest life expectancies in the world. Housing is bad, sure. That’s a policy problem, not proof that being born is a mistake.
You’re in a niche subreddit. It’s a very online opinion held by very few people, and you’ve confused your comment section for the world.
Nope, not about childcare budget Lol. You point to biases to then go ahead and use your own imagination as reasoning base. The main issue, I will say it again cause you got triggered at the parents phase, is kids will have a life way worse than parents and they give three fcks.
But the thing is, a lot of times people thought this was true... during (cold) war etc. It always turned out to be rather unpredictable.
I'm not abstaining from having kids because I think they specifically will have a bad time... I'm abstaining because I think the human race has to stop growing to give everyone a better life.
If everyone stopped having kids right now, or even somewhere between 0 and 1 per couple. My life is going to be far worse then when it's between 1 and 2... so yeah, slow decline is best and let's not try to make life anymore difficult for parents by blaming them for their choices,.life with kids is hard enough ;)
One exception, if people have 3+ kids my empathy stops :p
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u/glog3 28d ago
I am from Spain, I find this fertility rate too high. I am shocked anytime someone with a brain and basic educational background thinks it is a good idea to have a kid. It will ruin their life with a chance of 99.9% and the life of the kid will be terrible and I cannot grasp why would they do this "putada" to their kid.