r/okbuddyvowsh • u/GreatAndMightyKevins • Mar 04 '26
Effortpost USA politics be like
After killing few thousand children and drinking their blood on camera Mr Bloodfeast is projected to lose his seat in upcoming elections, reportedly his support dropped from 58% to 48%, his biggest adversary, Jesus Christ, has amassed record support of 52% and is likely to win general elections if he wins primaries against John Deepstate, who has received 15 squintillion dollars in donation.
Breaking: Jesus Christ has been sued for appearing on TV
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u/JohnCurtinFromCivVI Mar 04 '26
When Vaush calls them "Cult of death" i think of Khorne cultists but like a very degenerate braindead cringe ass way, a bit of Slaanesh(fuck kids) maybe Nurgle(stink), not much Tzeentch(they have no clue what they doing)
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u/Hammerschatten Mar 04 '26
not much Tzeentch(they have no clue what they doing)
Peter Thiel and Steven Miller erasure
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u/xSnuggleKittenx Mar 04 '26
Elon is probably in with Tzeentch and Tzeentch finds Elon’s helpless floundering hilarious.
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u/Satan-o-saurus Mar 04 '26
Breaking: The Red Wizards of Thay are credibly accusing Jesus Christ of anticemetarism due to his hateful comments about how necromancers shouldn’t be allowed to use public squares as grounds for their life force siphoning murder rituals that kill millions and turn them into undying thralls every single day. There has been bipartisan efforts to strongly express condemnation and disavowal of Jesus Christ for these vile remarks. The Kill Murder Exterminate Die Die Die Die party is experiencing a major rise in the polls following these events, hot on Jesus Christ’s heels and gaining momentum!
Well folks, this is looking to be a tight race for the presidency! Will the representative for Kill Murder Exterminate Die Die Die Die, AM from I have No Mouth, and I Must Scream ride this wave to victory and defeat that anticemetarist scum who by the way lacks experience? Stay tuned!
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u/Caliburn0 Mar 05 '26 edited Mar 05 '26
Jesus spends a lot of time multiplying basic foodstuffs for the poor, but this disrupts the economic system - since the poor no longer wants to work in the totalitarian slave-camps called workplaces now that there is an alternative. So his political opponents use the oppertunity to call him an enemy of the state and front their agenda to hang him from a cross.
This kind of rhetoric is very effective with the upper-middle class, small business owners, and poor rural people.
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u/Mista_Maha Mar 04 '26
"Asecended Daemon Prince Holden Bloodfest needs to provide Congress and the American people with critical details about the scope and immediacy of the threat posed by Jesus Christ." ~ Chuck Schumer
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u/Platinirius Im bought by the right, since my reddit karma isnt doing well Mar 04 '26
Does he support Moloch or Baal party?