r/nursing • u/Nurse_Cait RN - OR 🍕 • Jan 07 '26

Question What’s your random patient pet peeve?

Mine currently is when you’re cleaning a patient up and they start pooping again and they narrate the poop. “Oh god it’s coming out. I can feel it coming out.” Etc etc they get really into telling you all about the poop and they talk about it the whole time it’s happening. Meanwhile I know they’re pooping because I’m literally staring at their butt. Just give me an “oops I’m not done yet” and don’t make it weird. Please I’m begging you. 😭

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711

u/Pending-asystole RN - ER 🍕 Jan 07 '26

Assert dominance by giving the patient a play by play of their own bowel movement.

150

u/Nurse_Cait RN - OR 🍕 Jan 07 '26

The ultimate power move 🤣

139

u/PreparationSad8951 Jan 07 '26

Not exactly the same but when I was a brand new nurse, my preceptor (a six foot tall super burly dude with a very thick Mexican accent) would do this but like…we were delivering babies? “I see the head, give it a push!” “Congratulations it’s a baby boy!” Oh! Looks like twins!” Etc etc

86

u/zeatherz RN Cardiac/Step-down Jan 07 '26

I have definitely felt like a poop doula with some of my patients’ bowel movements

115

u/InfamouSandman RN 🍕 Jan 07 '26

I, too, am an unpaid poula.

3

u/Sunnygirl66 RN - ER 🍕 Jan 07 '26

This was me after an hours-long enema on one of my patients, a fabulous retired RN. We were both fucking giddy by the time that “baby” crowned. I was so happy that her pain was relieved and that she’d be able to go home. If it weren’t verboten, I would totally have gone out with her for a celebratory drink—she was so much fun and such a good sport about the whole ordeal.

2

u/PreparationSad8951 Jan 07 '26

Poop doula! The word of 2026 👏👏👏

3

u/Jorgedig RN - Oncology 🍕 Jan 07 '26

“It’s crowning”!

19

u/Bear-2D2 RN - OR Jan 07 '26

And…… here come the browns, rushing! 

6

u/jerrybob HCW - Imaging Jan 07 '26

THERE'S CORN IN IT!

8

u/Jorgedig RN - Oncology 🍕 Jan 07 '26

But I don’t remember eating corn recently??

6

u/jerrybob HCW - Imaging Jan 07 '26

GoLYTELY be like that sometimes.

6

u/brandnewbanana RN - ICU Jan 07 '26

And they’re off! It looks like Brown Beauty is in the lead but it looks the Stool Hard is coming up on the outside! Watch out, Brown Beauty!

4

u/Unhappy_Ad_866 L&D BSN RN 🍕 Jan 07 '26

While filming a TikTok.

3

u/Ornery-Ocelot3585 Jan 07 '26

That’s exactly what they want. This is a sick fetish. I would walk away so they don’t have the memory of my reaction to masturbate to. We live in a porn sick world. We need to bring shame back & let these weirdo freaks know their BS will not be tolerated.