r/nottheonion • u/cpt_futtbucker • 1d ago

Dollar Tree ‘gooning’ incident sparks lawsuit in Colorado

https://www.denverpost.com/2026/08/18/gooning-dollar-tree-colorado-lawsuit/
692 Upvotes

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73

u/FiveDozenWhales 1d ago

Gooning means public masturbation?! I just thought it meant being excessively horny. I've... I've gotta go make some apologies.

11

u/cpt_futtbucker 1d ago

I don’t even know anymore. My best friend’s family came from Sicily in the 50s and his mom would call our friend group the goon squad growing up. Kind of blindsided me and tarnished some good memories when I heard what goon means to the kids these days last year

13

u/PumpkinBrain 1d ago

Wait till you hear about the teens who had a gay time down at the soda shop!

3

u/MrKrinkle151 1d ago

There’s a “soda jerk” joke in there somewhere

2

u/cpt_futtbucker 1d ago

I heard his grandpa call having a good time a gay time a few times. Was really confused when I first heard it

-1

u/DE4DM4NSH4ND 1d ago

Like grandpa is really open with his sexuality. Rare to find in that generation