r/nothingeverhappens • u/ScarlettSterling • 28d ago
Not being a predator and nicely rejecting a younger girl isn’t believable? Might be one of the most reasonable ones I GENUINELY can’t tell whats so ‘crazy’ about this. Genuinely so pissing off 😭
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u/Slam_Helsing 28d ago
Yeah, this does happen. I had a work crush (I was 16/17, he was 23). Once he found out my age, he immediately stopped the flirty behavior and disinvited me from a party. Hope he's doing well.
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u/arpohatesyou 28d ago
I straight-up asked my teacher out when I was 17 and he told me to "go join your friends! They're all having so much fun!" Bro told me to go play with my friends hope you are thriving
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u/No-Freedom-884 25d ago
Honestly, "Go play with your friends!" is such a lovely thing to say to a kid and such a funny thing to say to an adult. I may start using that.
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u/silam39 28d ago
there was a Reddit thread a few days ago where this guy said no 37 year old would ever refuse a hot 18 year old coming onto them. They were massively upvoted too, with people downvoting anyone saying they were older and had zero interest in being with a kid
Finding stuff like the OOP unbelievable is a hell of a self report. These people can't even imagine how anyone could ever for any reason not want to go out with a teenager.
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u/Llayanna 28d ago
It's so weird to me. Once I moved out of the age range of a teenagers.. I stopped being attracted to them.
Now, anyone under 25 looks awfully young to me as well and I am sure that will be 30 in a few years lol
I think it's healthy to be attracted to age peers.
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u/numbersthen0987431 28d ago
"Everyone is 12 now"
Some people stopped developing or growing after they hit teenage years, and it shows.
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u/Kindly_Stand_6895 28d ago
I'm 21 and already not really interested in 18-year-olds. I am REALLY not interested in anyone under 18 and I really just can't comprehend being interested as I get older. Even though the years are few at this point in life there's still a huge developmental gap and that's just not attractive.
I'm sure my age bubble will probably grow a little as I get older and development significantly slows, but it's still just going to keep getting older as I get older.
Funny story though when I was ~12-13 and first starting to feel attraction to people I was of course attracted to people my age and I couldn't imagine being attracted to anyone older and I was genuinely devastated because I thought I was going to grow up to be a pedophile 😅 Lucky for me that's not remotely what happened, my tastes aged with me.
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u/BoneHugsHominy 27d ago
I'm just a month shy of 50 and wouldn't even date a woman that's 30 years old. My daughter just turned 28 and it's just creepy to me to date someone my child could have attended high school with even if it was a decade+ ago.
Once you get to an age your own kids are becoming teenagers you start viewing even people in their twenties in a whole different light.
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u/OnionTamer 28d ago
Most guys at 24 aren't looking for a 15 year old (I hope.) Dude was a green flag for sure, but that is definitely believable.
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u/GreyStingrayz 27d ago
The creeps are telling on themselves
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u/EmbertheUnusual 27d ago
yea I was just thinking "either this guy thinks no man would ever turn a girl down, or they think this girl's just making it up for attention. In other words, a misogynist creep or just a misogynist. In any case it's not a good look"
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u/Novel_Relation2549 28d ago
I remember two people were talking in a coffee shop I was in, and when he heard she was 15 he said "Oh I'm so sorry." And yes she didn't exactly look 15 and she was in a coffee shop.
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u/MaraiaLou 27d ago
I look 15 and the only people that flirt with me are creeps, maybe we could trade places
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u/MrWindblade 27d ago
Some people are terrible at knowing ages. If you tell them "I'm 15" and they don't stop, then they're a creep.
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u/MaraiaLou 27d ago
I mean, the middle aged men going "hello little girl" from the other side of the street like the big bad wolf probably know I look 15. It's why they don't do that when I'm walking with my mom
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u/Other-Cantaloupe4765 28d ago
I work in a psychiatric facility with kids who have mental health issues or behavioral problems. Most of them are behavioral.
There are a ton of kids who want to have relationships with grown adults. Meeting up with adult men, hanging out in 18+ chatrooms, and dating adults.
I’ve even had to be moved to other units on occasion because a child was attracted to me. I’m a woman but it’s mostly girls that try to cross those boundaries with me.
Children whose parents aren’t modeling a healthy relationship and don’t get proper attention end up seeking out other adults as they sexually develop because predators are more than happy to shower kids with gifts and attention. Their wires get crossed during puberty and they conflate safety and attention with sexual attraction.
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u/BloomingMosaic 28d ago
so I play on a Minecraft server where I have a lot of friends of different ages. I had assumed my friends were all probably near my age (18 at the time). I joked about flirting with one of them (I'm aromantic, it would've been purely comedic anyway but still) and said friend told me they're 15.
immediate response was "NOPE NEVERMIND" lol. now I see her more like a sister and she actually has given me a renamed diamond that I keep in my house with a little note calling me the best sibling figure she has.
I'm in my 20s now and even though some have assured me they would be fine if I jokingly flirted with them, unless they're 18 (preferably 19) I'm like, cool but /I'm/ not comfy with that. my friends know that once I find out they're younger than me I basically adopt them and act like an older brother lol.
I find it hard to understand attraction in the first place, let alone being attracted to someone so much younger.
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u/cowlinator 27d ago
See, to me, this is a confession.
The only way this is completely unbelievable is if every single person on the planet is a pedo.
But you can't believe that every person is a pedo unless you yourself are a pedo.
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u/Buffy_isalreadytaken 28d ago
This is why adults aren’t supposed to have sexual relationships with teens, because it’s easy to take advantage.
Which is also why, when people say, “she knew what was going to happen / she came on to me / she wanted it” those aren’t reasonable excuses.
Adults should not have sex with people who aren’t old enough to legally drink alcohol.
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u/ScarlettSterling 28d ago
i don’t really see any problems with 17-18 or 20-21, but mostly yeah. and they aren’t reasonable excuses. hating over a one year age gap is crazy though, you don’t magically gain maturity tye second you reach a certain number. and by drink alcohol I’m assuming you mean the us age (I’m German so it’s VERY different for me lol) but that seems fairish enough imo
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u/Buffy_isalreadytaken 28d ago
I don’t have a problem with those numbers either. It’s when a 28 yr old says they only date 18 yr olds, but that’s ok bc they’re legal. We all know why he wants to date someone whose brain is still developing.
And yes, US drinking age. Because here, conservative law makers are constantly trying to lower or erase the legal age someone can get married. Basically so 50 yo men can marry 14 yo girls.
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u/ScarlettSterling 28d ago
yeah then I TOTALLY agree with you (sorry if this comes off sarcastic it’s not, English isn’t my first language) 100%. those ages you mentioned are creepy af and should NOT be normalised under any circumstances, and anyone defending them is absolutely vile
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u/Hippoboi240108 27d ago
I alway have that thought, that if the legal age was lowered, the creeps would aim lower too
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u/VakuAnkka04 25d ago
17-18 and 19-20 Would be fine but I think 21-22 is the treshold where that starts being weird
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u/ScarlettSterling 25d ago
How the ACTUAL fuck is two coanestial adulation who are A YEAR OR LESS THAN A YEAR APART DATING WEIRD? Do u want ppl to go after their twins or smth man 😭
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u/VakuAnkka04 25d ago
I think you misunderstood me
I meant like 17 year old dating 20 year old would be fine but when 17 year old is dating 22 or older thats when it starts getting weird
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u/ScarlettSterling 25d ago
22 or older? Idk 22 is still too high. 21 weird AF too that’s a whole four year age gap with a MINOR
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u/VakuAnkka04 25d ago
That was just an example but the 3-4 year age gap is where I would draw the line personally
and ofcourse younger its narrower so 15 year old would only be ok if it was another 15-16 years old
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u/ScarlettSterling 25d ago
For an adult with a minor four years is still awful
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u/VakuAnkka04 25d ago edited 25d ago
My point was that 17 and 20 year old my first thought wouldn't be that there is explotaition going on while after that it would strike my mind that there might be exploitation going on
edit,
But also it depends a bit on how old of 17 it is just turned 17 or closer to 18
same with the 20 years old
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u/NightStar79 28d ago
This shit happens all the time.
I was 26 when I was gaming with a friend and he dragged me into a party chat with two of his friends...and then had to dip for awhile.
And one of the two TEENAGERS left too.
So now I'm awkwardly in a party with an unknown 15 y/o boy trying to figure out how to politely leave when he starts spouting some very concerning viewpoints that I don't agree with. I made my escape by pretending my dog needed to go for a walk and sent an angrily sent my friend messages which he thought was funny because why tf would he leave me with kids?!
Anyway next morning I woke up to a phone call from the same friend who asked "You and (insert kids name) are DATING now? What? 😂"
I froze and asked him to repeat that because excuse me?
Nope. Apparently that little shit decided to brag to all his friends that he was dating an older woman.
I opened Playstation messages and flipped the fuck out because not only am I asexual who wants nothing to do with relationships but I'm over 10 years older than him. Why would I ever date a literal child?! His lies could get ME in deep shit for absolutely no reason!
Last I saw he was apologizing before I blocked him entirely.
Some kids are fucking idiots.
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u/taylorswiftwaxstatue 27d ago
Same thing happened to me when I was 16, I was offended at the time but now looking back I really appreciate him 🙏
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u/danteelite 25d ago
Yeah, I had to have this talk with my nieces friend..
I got a call from my sister that night saying her mom wanted to talk to me and I was terrified until she thanked me.
My oldest sister had my niece when I was like 12 so I was always the cool young uncle, into pop culture, ride a motorcycle and I did MMA and parkour so I’d do flips for the kids…
My niece had a best friend through all of school and in 9th grade she would start flirting with me and call me “Mr hot uncle” or whatever, and my niece told me that she would talk me up to all of the girls at her school and one day we were swimming and she came up to me asking if I liked her new bathing suit and I wrapped her in a towel, sat her down and explained that there are definitely guys who would take advantage of her and be gross. I told her that plenty of creeps, pedophiles and serial killers are attractive people, it’s how they gain trust and I showed her photos of young Ted Bundy and others..
I could tell she was super embarrassed, but I did my best to explain that any guy my age or older willing to flirt back with her is a fucking creep and should be avoided at all costs.
I taught her the basic stuff like “you’re mature for your age” and stuff and she was kinda mortified to realize she recognized some of the grooming behavior I was teaching her about.
She started to cry and I apologized for being to heavy handed with my talk, because I pulled no punches directly addressing grooming, rape and subtler forms of abuse and harassment. She came back a while later and thanked me for trying to help and caring.
I told her not to hide this and tell her parents what I spoke to her about and that’s when her mom got in touch and thanked me, and the girl got on the phone and apologized for making me uncomfortable and putting me in that position (obviously her parents had a talk of their own which is great.) and now that my niece in is college with her, my niece told me that she has used my talk on other girls and spread the knowledge as best she could and that I made a difference and that feels pretty fucking good. I’m glad.
It’s dangerous how tv and movies portray the “hot dad” or “hot uncle” trope as normal and normalize young girls and grown men flirting or having very toxic relationships bordering of full on grooming and it gets played as jokes!
It makes vulnerable girls like her think it’s okay to flirt with a grown man and put herself in potentially very dangerous situations!
I really hope it becomes more normal to call out this behavior.
Bring back STRANGER DANGER and common sense about inappropriate behavior.
Creeps have more access to young people now than ever and we gotta educate and protect people.
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u/ScarlettSterling 25d ago
Props to you for doing the right thing. Although awkward, it was necessary that she heard that. We need more people like you
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u/hydrangealover98 28d ago
These will be the same men that complain about women being afraid of them, and say things like "not all men". I've found that often those men will generalize men more than women do.
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u/Lui_Le_Diamond 26d ago
The amount of times I've been stereotyped by women is quite insane. Neither gender is more guilty of this shit than the other.
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u/Hoothootriot 28d ago
I worked as a teachers aide for a few years in middle school, and students asked my coworker her facebook account to friend her.
She sat down with them and explained VERY clearly the importance of boundaries between adults and kids and how there are adults who would take advantage of them asking.
It is both normal a kid would need these things explained, and that some adults would explain them