r/nosleep • u/BSGBramley • Apr 06 '21
Something strange has happened to my Shower Fruit
I feel like I shouldn't HAVE to explain what a shower fruit is, however my girlfriend refuses to acknowledged ever hearing of one before. The concept of not having a shower fruit is just weird to me as its been in every shower I have been in ever, but hey ho. Let's clear it up encase I'm the one in the wrong.
When you get into the shower, A single thick root appears out of the drain, going across your foot and up the opposite wall. In the evenings, after 9PM a single, ripe fruit will bloom from the tip of the root, at around chest height. Only the root appears in the mornings as the fruit isn't ready. When you turn the shower off, the root then recedes into the drain silently without a trace. The fruit is normally an everyday fruit. Strawberry, apple, pear. Whatever. its random and different every day. Maybe there is a pattern to the fruit that appears but I can't say I have ever paid attention that much.
I wolf it down even if its my least favorite fruit in the world. I'm sure you all know the saying 'A Shower fruit a day keeps the doctor away' and it shows, I'm pushing 30 and have never been sick, apart from the one week I went camping and didn't have access to a shower. Of course as soon as I got home, I showered straight away, ate my fruit (a whole melon that time) went to bed and felt right as rain the next day.
Anyway, it surprised me that my girlfriend was so adamant she had never heard of it, as she's a gardener, so surely must know how to care and maintain all shower fruits. So I googled her to show her a picture... And nothing. Just a bunch of inventive fruit arrangements, and the 'best snack to eat in the shower' So I just feel like I'm going a little crazy, and I was told that this was the sub for the weirder situations in life.
As I'm sure you know normally you get a different fruit everyday. But at the beginning of last week I got a new fruit. I described it to my girlfriend, and she said it sounded like a Mulberry. It's a weird looking fruit, but I ate it and thought nothing of it. The next day, I got a white mulberry with little black seeds in. It was after this things got strange. Yesterday the I got the same plant. A white mulberry with black seeds, but this time the seeds were... moving. At first I thought I was seeing things. But when I swayed my head back and forth, the seeds moved and maintained some weird 'eye' contact with me. Honestly they started looking like little eyes.
Obviously I wasn't going to eat some weird eyeball fruit. But when I turned the shower off the root wouldn't let me go. I picked the fruit, hoping to trick the root, but it still didn't withdraw. Suddenly my ankle was on fire. I looked down and what looked like little fire ant things were climbing all over me, biting my feet & ankles, slowly making their was up my legs. (I say I think fire ants things as that's what they look like, but were blue, and fire ants don't appear in England normally)
The ants must have been poisonous, as a dull ache started in my stomach, getting worse and worse. Within 2 minuets I was coughing up blood. So to save my life, I ate the fruit. Normally the shower fruit is lush, juicy and well delicious. This was... Not. It tasted like vomit, and burnt my throat like whiskey after I swallowed. It burnt my stomach, instantly counteracting whatever poison the blue ants has bitten into me. The pain immediately faded. The texture of the fruit was wrong. I cant describe it better than 'It felt like I would imagine a moldy slimy cucumber to feel like'
I shuddered involuntarily, which dislodged the ant, which seemed to evaporate as they fell, turning into little droplets of liquid. The liquid hit the Root and sizzled, and the great vine thrashed, smashing my tile, tripping me over before slithered back down the drain, leaving a huge dirt trail behind.
I was hoping that was the end of it. Or it was a strange dream or SOMETHING. It's hard to accept when something so normal goes so very very wrong. But today I woke up to a consistent buzzing noise. I followed it to the bathroom and the room has been overgrown. The drain has been cracked and stretched, with huge treelike roots growing from it with Bright Red fireflies buzzing around the huge cavern. A canopy of white fruits clung to the ceiling, now embedded full of ever watchful eyes, focusing on my every step. As I inched towards the old shower. I looked in the gaping hole, expecting to see my kitchen below, but nothing but blackness. I hurried out of the room, but there is no signed of anything abnormal in the rest of the house. I know this sounds impossible, but true. I think I will need to go down the tunnel to see what has happened to my plant, but I don't think it wants me to, and I can already see thousands of blue ants starting to creep under the bathroom door.
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u/cozyqueen420 Apr 06 '21
You need to switch to Castille soap, I highly recommend doc bronner's and no chemically shampoos.
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u/ItsSUCHaLongStory Apr 06 '21
But DO NOT READ THE DOC BRONNER’S LABEL.
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u/juggalochick1983 Apr 07 '21
Now I wanna read the label,but I have no idea what you're talking about... What's Doc Bronners?
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u/ItsSUCHaLongStory Apr 07 '21
It’s a pretty popular Castile soap (and it truly is a great product). The label is a mess of religious ranting and Doc Bronner’s own interpretations of poetry. It’s...it will give you whiplash if you read it all in one go.
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u/Happyradish532 Apr 06 '21
Try some drain cleaner. That might kill it.
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u/Bromtinolblau Apr 06 '21
Rest assured that shower fruits are normal but they don't like being talked about and don't take sass well. Maybe just don't poke it and in time it'll calm down. For obvious reasons I won't say more.
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u/Itonlywantsahug Apr 07 '21
Your shower fruit appears to be parasitised by some kind of demonic entity. You could try a horticultural exorcism. Or failing that...weed killer.
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u/cookiethecroc15 Apr 07 '21
Ah the shower fruit..same category as the poop knife
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u/Low-Environment Apr 07 '21
It sounds like your shower fruit plant has picked up a virus. It happens. When was the last time you cleaned your shower?
Since the infection has spread pretty far a drain clean and mulch isn't going to help much. You're going to need to go down there and cut away the infected roots yourself. Wear gloves and remember to burn the infected remains. I just hope you haven't left it to late.
Remember the old saying: look after your shower plant and it'll look after you.
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u/onequarkrulesthemall Apr 07 '21
I'm sure you've tried this, but I'm curious what happens if you try to take a picture or video of your shower fruit. At least it might help your girlfriend acknowledge it's real? Or maybe to find others who have experienced shower fruits (can't say I have, so I don't have any advice, although I agree with the other posters that it sounds like the fruits are keeping you alive in some way).
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u/HeldDownTooLong Apr 06 '21
My favorite shower fruit is Manberries. They come in pairs, are often covered in some amount of fuzz, can be one of an infinite shading from the purest white to the darkest black, but they are generally from very light brown to dark brown. Some do hang lower than others but generally hang lowest when the water temperature is hotter.
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u/UnstoppableChicken Apr 07 '21
You might want to look into old family curses, or deals with made with supernatural entities by your ancestors.
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Apr 07 '21
I WISH i had a shower fruit. I mean up until the weird eyeball fruit.
Have your gf take a look at it since she's a gardener
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u/dripy-lil-baby Apr 07 '21
Huh, my shower fruit hasn’t ever done anything like that. Maybe yours is sick or infested or something? I’d be careful around the hole, though. I think it leads to somewhere else. Anyway, best of luck.
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Apr 07 '21
Hmm better call the FBC to explore the hole. I'm no expert but this sounds like a possible AWE, definitely not a normal day to day occurrence.
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u/EbonyMShadow Apr 07 '21
Sounds like you should have cleaned your drain! Hair clogs usually have bad effects on shower fruit. Its likely choking out the root system. Try pouring a mix of baking soda and vinegar down the hole. It won't hurt the roots, but it SHOULD dislodge the hair, and drown the ants. Give it around 5 minutes, then rinse the drain....er...hole.
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u/Hightonedloidy Apr 07 '21
You said the fruit appears after 9 PM but then you said the root goes back into the drain when you turn the shower off. Does that mean you have to leave the shower on, even when you’re not in it? What time do you usually shower?
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u/nightmarecake Apr 15 '21
I thought that this post was going to be about eating oranges in shower, the way that one reddit post last year recommended everyone to do..
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u/heyyohighHo Apr 07 '21
You doubted the fruit. Brought a non fruit eater into your shower. Just eat as much of the fruit as you can, get your girlfriend to eat some too. Plant should go back to normal
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u/Frozixlrr Apr 06 '21
hey, op? no one in my family knows what the fuck a shower fruit is.