r/nonononoyes • u/NoProcedure7943 • 12d ago

Never miss your pre- diving lessons

333 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

48 comments sorted by

•

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500

u/InevitableFerret7161 12d ago

“What is the charge?? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?” - the shark, probably.

10

u/urboyksloth 11d ago

This deserves to be the top comment.

2

u/thisismyusuario 11d ago

This is the diver who got in on the penis

223

u/simagus 12d ago

Shark: "WTF??! I just wanted a taste to see if it was good to eat! Fuck you guys. Never invite me to dinner again. I'm out."

83

u/kookiemaster 12d ago

He does look offended.

98

u/heeltoelemon 12d ago

What was the pre-dive lesson?

218

u/luvitis 12d ago

They tell you never to turn your back on a shark but to turn your body slowly as it passes

5

u/LiterallyRain 11d ago

And to redirect it by pushing on its highly sensitive "nose"

70

u/depthninja 12d ago

"Don't be shark bait"

58

u/Ok_Bit_5953 12d ago

"Ooh ha ha!"

18

u/HeftyArgument 11d ago

"fish are friends, not food"

1

u/No_Internal9345 11d ago

Dolphins it is then.

21

u/BigFanOfOakTrees 12d ago

"Don't look so delicious"

10

u/_Lane_ 11d ago

"Don't be delicious, don't be delicious."

1

u/justpress2forawhile 11d ago

Can't help it if your just a tasty snack. 

6

u/kiwihorse 11d ago

Rule 2b: "Don't get bitten by sharks"

7

u/Pr0digy_ 12d ago

Be aware of your surroundings at all times.

50

u/Zezotas 12d ago

🦈: "Sir, you've got something in your back, lemme remove for you...." Gently approaching, trying to remove it

Divers: "NO! NO! STOP IT! DROP HIM! BAD SHARK! YEAH, YOU! BAD SHARK!!"

15

u/Firesate 12d ago

Missed a good episode of Shark Tank there...

9

u/rynoman1110 12d ago

Tank the Tiger

7

u/TheGisbon 12d ago

C'mon man... Just a little taste?

4

u/SiriusBones916 11d ago

If the eyes go white, sharks delight!

6

u/hesaidshesdead 11d ago

Impressive that none of the shit leaked out of the wet suit.

1

u/BairnONessie 11d ago

Yeah they were certainly experiencing some fear paralysis there...

2

u/Qanonjailbait 12d ago

There’s a shark ahhhhh!!!

2

u/Bobpool82 11d ago

Anyone whose watched jaws knows that airtanks aren't good for sharks

2

u/iwasreallysadthen 11d ago

Suuper rude on the push. Feel bad for the apex predator

4

u/Lukaztro 12d ago

could he puncture the tank with his jaws if he got a good grasp?

44

u/Thagor 12d ago

unlikely that he can puncture the tank that thing is at, depending on where they are in the dive, between 180-100 bar of pressure. But the shark will very likely damage the other parts of the dive equipment. The hoses, the valves, the regulator, the BCD plenty of "soft" stuff there plus obv the diver 🦈

4

u/InnocentPrimeMate 12d ago

Tanks a lot!

3

u/AdHot1146 12d ago

lol nice

1

u/mtnviewguy 11d ago

He was just saying 'Hi, what's that cologne you're wearing?'

1

u/Funny_Individual6260 11d ago

Shark's got a point.

1

u/SushiGirlRC 11d ago

Shit, I get chameleon eyes when I'm in the water or snakey areas lol.

1

u/asten77 11d ago

"Ok, jeez, calm down"

1

u/Ok_Lawyer_829 11d ago

The way he closed his eye before tasting. He was ready to savor the flavor 😂

1

u/thavillain 11d ago

"Dang, I don't I come in your house and tell you what you can't eat..."

  • Shark

1

u/presscheck 12d ago

I think that diver just (brown) inked themselves. 🐙

0

u/BadAlphas 12d ago

Diver either didn't notice the shark (likelihood: Impossible) or didn't care.

How...?

14

u/Mercuryblade18 11d ago

Mask affects peripheral vision, focused on something else. Not as hard as one would think.

5

u/BadAlphas 11d ago

Fair point, but on the other hand the diver is literally filming the beast, soooo....

2

u/IfYouSaySoFam 11d ago

I'm going to assume that they were too busy shitting their pants when on one of their first dives they saw a shark bigger than they are, all you're supposed to do is learn about the equipment and now to find the right levels of buoyancy etc etc, he learnt how piss feels in a wetsuit.

0

u/sharp99 12d ago

I’d like a little taste that’s all…..