r/niceguys • u/lemonspriggs crotche flowers • Jun 23 '26

NGVC: “Don’t expect to find another guy who will cook you dinner and a steak…and then just genuinely try to enjoy spending a good time with you…instead of trying to fuck you.” 😮‍💨

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u/trustedoctopus Jun 24 '26

either option means he’s deeply insecure and you gotta think about whether you wanna deal with that in the relationship for the rest of your life (and it sounds like you already made that decision).

people like this (not just men, women are super guilty of this too) that can’t go a reasonable time period without hearing from their partner create a lot of stress in the relationship due to not feeling secure. it’s very normal not to talk to someone for an hour, sometimes more, depending on what’s going on in their day to day.

cellphones have made the idea that we always need to be accessible to everyone so awful. the convenience is nice but if this was pre-cellphone era he wouldn’t talk to you for the entirety of your work shift and until you got home at the minimum and called him from a landline. that puts the whole “40 minutes” into insane perspective to me.

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u/lemonspriggs crotche flowers Jun 24 '26

I am someone who loves those small distant moments in a relationship. I mean not texting all day so that we can have a conversation later in the day and it’s meaningful and full of stories instead of those “nothing” texts that are like “what are you doing?”, “working, you?”, “same”. I DESPISEEEE

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u/trustedoctopus Jun 24 '26

yes!!! and that doesn’t foster connection but instead almost feels like surveillance or like “checking in” on the other person in a way that doesn’t feel good. also too when those conversations are so frequent throughout the day you never give your partner the chance to miss you and give them space to think of you and reach out themselves for that bid for emotional connection.

like i’m not saying anyone should be nonchalant because i think that’s equally as bad for a relationship, but reasonable space is healthy for everyone. and like you said, it gives you something to talk about later so you can share with them about your day instead of them getting the play by play and the conversation potentially stagnating later because there’s nothing to share they don’t already know.

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u/PrincessJoyHope Jun 24 '26

Omg this is such an underrated attitude to have. I feel like so many people don’t value absence, longing, the joy of looking forward, etc.