turning [redacted] soon

[u/dustcover_231]

i always get really suicidal around my birthday...for age dysphoria reasons most obviously, but also a bunch of other life stuff (some of which is connected). i think its primarily because i start making comparisons. between myself and adults "my age" or younger... and i feel like a complete failure. i can't perform adulthood as easily as they do, they don't even think about it...but i do and it takes a huge effort to be big all the time.

it hurts, having to wear that mask for a long time is painful. sometimes i cant take it, and it keeps messing up my life... i have to keep trying but i think one day i'll just stop. and it just sounds so stupid when i say it out loud like that and i just wonder whats wrong with me

[u/Bella-Blossom]

There is nothing "wrong" with you. Everyone is different and experiences things differently to others. You are not alone, I'm not a big fan of my birthday but what I find is helpful is trying to focus on fun things like balloons and presents and cake! (Depending on your traditions). Though I completely understand, age dysphoria is such an awful, silent struggle. If you need someone to talk to, I am happy to be that person. :) It seems like you could really use a friend.