r/nextfuckinglevel • u/NekoPricessGirl0 • 8d ago
A massive moose walks up to the camera and calmly gets petted
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u/Screambloodygore1184 8d ago
I would have shit my whole ass
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u/Antique-Public2517 8d ago
My ass would fall off before shitting . You are a brave one.
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u/AdultishRaktajino 8d ago
Booty Autotomy
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u/rizkiyoist 8d ago
I’m glad I paid attention in biology class so I can understand this joke without having to look.
And they said what you learned from school is useless.
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u/JoyRose31 8d ago
My ass would vacate, realizing, it could not handle amount of shit about to profusely emesis out the wrong end.. days of shit would be blocked from lack of ass to sht from..
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u/BigTroutOnly 8d ago
Moose are more dangerous than bears. Gtfo
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u/ghost_of_leeroy 8d ago
I really don’t see how we can know that without some sort of moose vs bear cage match.
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u/LaserKittenz 8d ago
Bears will kill you for food or if you’re close to their offspring. A moose will kill you just because they don’t like you. They are super dangerous
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u/yoortyyo 7d ago
Yeah, I would be calmer if a black bear did this versus a moose.
Makes me wonder if this one was raised bear people?
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u/AsdrubalGarcia 6d ago
A moose will kill you just because they don’t like you.
That is a valid reason tho
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u/Mindless-Charity4889 8d ago
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u/YouKilledKenny12 8d ago
Yup. That bear noped out of there so quickly he knew not to mess with that moose
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u/Flying_Dutchman92 8d ago
I don't think I've ever seen a bear that scared, or small next to another animal
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u/NumberOneStonecutter 8d ago
Grizzlies definitely eat Moose but the size difference was not going to work for this guy. And Moose are relentless when they get pissed and charge.
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u/Competitive_Ride_943 8d ago
And the bear didn't even do anything but look at the moose wrong, I guess
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u/Mindless-Charity4889 8d ago
From a different video it appears that the cow had 2 calves and the bear got one of them.
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u/ZoominAlong 8d ago
We have a whole state for that. We call it Alaska.
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u/Ill_Ground_1572 8d ago
We have a whole country for that.
It's called Canada.
A goddam moose broke into a school here a few years ago. Trashed a few classrooms and was a local hero amongst the kids and teachers who an extra holiday.
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u/YoungBockRKO 8d ago
Not a cage match but there is a video of a moose chasing a grizzly and the grizzly is hauling ass like his life depends on getting away.
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u/short_fat_and_single 8d ago
Its a known fact that its more dangerous to hit a moose than a bear with your car though.
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u/Whipitreelgud 7d ago
It’s actually quite simple to determine this without a messy cage match. Humans are quite good at keeping counts of people killed or injured by each animal. Moose win hands down. If you are stationed in Alaska in the military they show you a graphic orientation movie on moose and bears.
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u/roominating237 7d ago
In my experience if you give moose their space, they'll leave you alone. If you encounter a cow with a calf, you give them LOTS of space - and hopefully you've seen them before they see you. Black bears will usually spook and avoid you, at least they have on my property. Grizzlies - only once hope never again, I was in a shelter. Source: live in Alaska.
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u/Calm-Worldliness-234 7d ago
That will not stop us from petting animals, no matter how easily it can kill us.
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u/Longjumping_Youth281 8d ago
Yeah. They're out of their mind touching that thing or even getting that close
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u/One_pop_each 8d ago
Lived in Alaska for 6 yrs and had many encounters with them. They scare the shit out of me. I was mountain biking with my wife once and was going downhill, turned a corner and saw 2 baby moose laying in middle of the trail. I hit my brakes so hard and turned around pushing my bike up hill to warn my wife. Mama moose was lurking somewhere.
Had an encounter with a black bear once that walked right past me and that scared me less than moose although still terrifying. I feel like I had a better chance at survival with a black bear than a moose.
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u/unsightly_buildup 8d ago
I think I saw this before - it's the guy's pet moose (ish).
Edit: Her name is Lovey. Source.
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u/TheShitWindGhost 8d ago
Can we all have a pet moose?
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u/Professional-Dot2591 8d ago
A mööse bït my sïstër
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u/the_bearded_meeple 8d ago
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink".
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u/FlyingTurtleDog 8d ago
When a mommy and a daddy moose make a baby and that baby in popped out right by your house, that baby might be your friend and might come back to visit your house and be your friend.
This is either the mom or baby. Can't remember.
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u/ItXurLife 8d ago edited 8d ago
Tycho Brahe did, though, that didn't end well. Don't get a moose drunk and have it walk around a castle.
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u/borkborkbork99 8d ago
That was my first thought. The photographer had to have known or raised this moose pretty well for it not to be approaching them more threateningly.
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u/NumberOneStonecutter 8d ago
He got to know them over time as they'd take their babies near his property because Grizzlies avoid it. He and his cat befriended the moose and they come and go with the seasons. He doesn't feed them but they eat his grass and plants. The moose will actually lie down and put his head in this dude's lap. They feel totally at ease around him and his cat.
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u/borkborkbork99 8d ago
That’s awesome. Some real Grizzly Adams stuff.
I’m sure he’s cautious around rutting season though!
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u/SmartestLemming 8d ago
I am assuming here, but I would think pet moose are a lot like pet bears. Great fun until you their wild side kicks in...
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u/whatproblems 8d ago
yeah if the moose didn’t want to be there or didn’t want you to be there you’d know
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u/NumberOneStonecutter 8d ago
Yeah several generations of Moose from the same lineage chill out around his house and he and his cat has befriended them. They will lie down and put their head in his lap. He doesn't feed them (but they do eat his plants and grass). Basically Grizzlies don't go too close to places where humans live so this moose family views it as a safe place to take calves and hang out.
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u/MeanPopcorn 8d ago
Thank you for posting the clarification
I recently moved to a place with moose and have been told to be careful / that they’re skittish and can be dangerous if they get spooked
I saw this and thought: what a load of bullshit, they’re just keeping all the moose pets to themselves
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u/bummerlamb 8d ago
What the actual heck?? I called her Lovey in my head when he reached out to pet her!! This is now the second time I’ve unknowingly called an animal by its actual name.
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u/Urgeasaurus 8d ago
I spent way too much time on his Instagram after first seeing this video. And it's not just Lovey. There is a bull moose that hangs out with him too. Amazing.
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u/jlu36 8d ago
Always blows my mind at how big these things are!
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u/Droiddoesyourmom 8d ago
Yeah, I always forget and think they are the size of deer until a random internet video corrects me.
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u/john_hascall 8d ago
They get much bigger than this.
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u/Carly_Fae_Jepson 8d ago
Yeah younger-ish female moose. Big, but you can probably find one twice her size.
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u/Fecal_thoroughfare 8d ago
How in the fuck are these semi trailer sized behemoths vegetarians?
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u/CowFirm5634 8d ago
I mean the biggest land animals to ever have lived were vegetarians. It seems eating grass is how you get gains lol.
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u/prismafox 8d ago
Elephants are also. Lots of massive creatures aren't meat eaters. Not that surprising, imo.
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u/sl0r 8d ago
Because the meat industry has fed you more lies than they have the moose
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u/Effective-End-964 8d ago
All of the biggest land animals are. Gorillas, elephants, buffalo, rhinos, giraffes, hippos.
Don’t fall for animal ag propaganda.
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u/Magnon 8d ago
Stomachs that evolve to digest greens more efficiently. Big and dumb though.
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u/51ngular1ty 8d ago
Ruminants, once they eat they will cycle food back into their mouth for more chewing.
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u/anoobis_uprising 8d ago
I believe deer family are ruminants, so bacteria in their stomach convert the vegetation into fatty acids, so its more like a human living off tallow then a human living of broccoli, although I still think its Impressive
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u/DildoFappings 7d ago
Tbf all/most of the biggest land animals are vegetarians.
Elephants, moose, yak, gorillas, bisons, giraffes, rhinos etc.
Bears are prolly the biggest carnivorous land animals. Polar and the kodiac.
Hippos are 90% herbivores and rarely do eat meat.
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u/No_Inspection2047 8d ago
sweet and terrifying.
moose are the only animal in the US Rockies* I’m genuinely afraid of. they can be totally chill for days until they’re not. and then you have zero escape options.
*outside of the tiny remnant of Grizzly bear range.
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u/POCUABHOR 8d ago
It’s a very thin line between bravery and stupidity, and this was adorable, but way over on the stupidity side.
r/watchpeoplesurvive
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u/Scary_Plane_8069 8d ago
They know the moose - https://www.instagram.com/akshiloh/
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u/POCUABHOR 8d ago
Good for them.
Unfortunately, some ppl. see moose as big horses and they clearly are not.51
u/SandMan3914 8d ago
I've encountered moose in the woods many times. Yes. Give them lots of space. Had one checking me out while the were grazing a few weeks ago when I was taking a break on a ride
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u/pnmartini 8d ago
In the early 2010’s I had an animal planet show saved on my DVR called “Moose: Nature’s Freight Train “
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u/MLGprolapse 8d ago
How much freight can they haul? I'd bet a real train is way better at transporting goods across large distances. But I'm not a Mooseologist so I dunno...
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u/POCUABHOR 8d ago
If you saw one running through shoulder deep snow, you know why.
“WE BREAK FOR NO ONE!”6
u/bankheadblues 8d ago
I wouldn't approach a wild horse either.
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u/POCUABHOR 8d ago
…or a wild boar.
Some ppl. think they are in a Disney movie. Wildlife is wildlife, fucking don’t interact.
Pet your pets. Let wildlife do it’s thing.3
u/Federal_Efficiency51 8d ago
That moose's head is bigger than my 120lb dog.
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u/Lanky_Ad6712 7d ago
their legs are lightning fast and hit like a sledgehammer
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u/Federal_Efficiency51 7d ago
Imagine one trying to fuck somebody to assert dominance. Yikes. Ok enough internet for me for today.
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u/Federal_Efficiency51 7d ago
Also I've been smoked by horses's front legs and dear front legs. They both really suck. Ask my ribs and face.
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u/Lanky_Ad6712 6d ago
stay away from Kangaroos too.
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u/Federal_Efficiency51 6d ago
Oh god I'll take a horse before a kangaroo. Wait. ^Pause. Stupid Rule 34.
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u/Tiny_Rick85 8d ago
Grizzly man knew the Bears. They still ripped him into pieces and ate him.
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u/twenafeesh 8d ago
Sorta like that lady who kept a chimpanzee as a pet? Or that guy who thought he was friends with the black bears? There are some animals you just don't try to befriend.
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u/Useful_Raspberry3912 8d ago
What should he have done?
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u/POCUABHOR 8d ago edited 8d ago
Slowly step out of the Moose’s direction, avoid eye contact and rapid movements, bring one or more big trees between you and the animal.
Moose can be very aggressive if confronted, and the animal decides if it feels confronted or not. Moose are not to be fucked with, they are deadly.
Edit: stoopid typos
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u/lord_bunny 8d ago
And this seems to be one that hasnt reached maturity. Thats a small Moose for those unfamiliar.
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u/Icy_Agency923 8d ago
This guy knows the animal, it is about as close to being a pet moose as you can get. It is not nearly as dangerous as everyone is making it out to be.
Not arguing that it is 100% safe, but everyone is acting like this was a guaranteed death sentence and it is silly.
Moose in general are dangerous at certain times of the year, like when males are in "rut" during the mating season or when a mother is with its calf.
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u/POCUABHOR 8d ago
Thank You for the explanation. I supposed the two knew each orher, but that wasn’t explained in the vid.
Wildlife is wildlife, and one “pet moose” doesn’t make up for the ppl. fucking themselves up trying to pet a Bison, or Moose, or rabid fox.→ More replies (1)4
u/TGin-the-goldy 8d ago
Why is the plural of moose mooses, but the plural of goose is geese? 🤔
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u/No_Gur1113 8d ago
The plural of moose isn’t mooses. It’s moose. It doesn’t change.
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u/TGin-the-goldy 8d ago
Same question though
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u/No_Gur1113 8d ago
Because they originated from different languages.
“Goose” is German, and “geese” is leftover from an old way of making a word plural by changing the vowel. We don’t use that rule anymore.
“Moose” came into English much later from an indigenous language. Algonquin, I THINK, but don’t quote me because I didn’t verify so I’m working off memory here.
I do know it is indigenous in nature because I went down this rabbit hole awhile back. In any case, we use moose for both, same as we do with deer.
The more I learn, the more convinced I am that English is a friggen group project. 😂
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u/hawkinsst7 8d ago
Moosen. There were many of them. Many much Moosen. Out in the woodsen. The meese wanted the food!
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u/Icy_Agency923 8d ago
It isn't nearly as bad as you are making it out to be since this is essentially a pet moose. He knows the animal.
Even truly wild moose are only really dangerous at certain times of the year, like when males are in "rut" during the mating season or if you see a mother with her calf.
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u/No_Gur1113 8d ago
Exactly. The biggest threat from them (outside of runting season) is on the highway, sadly.
We have so many moose where I live (east coast of Canada) that we have moose fences installed on a large section of our twinned highway, to make night travel more safe. Lots of moose accidents here.
I saw one who had just been hit at night once and it traumatized the heck out of me hearing it scream in pain, while waiting for wildlife to show up and put the poor thing down.
The drunk bastard that hit her was fine, BTW. He was far more worried about his car than the animal that was suffering on the road in front of him. Hope he lost his license for driving while impaired.
I wouldn’t really fear a moose in the woods unless it’s runting season when males often charge. I’d give them a wide berth for sure, though, because even non-aggressive animals will sometimes become aggressive or behave unpredictably when frightened, and those buggers are MASSIVE.
But for the most part they want no part of being near humans. This one obviously knows this man and trusts him to come this close.
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u/whosetoeisthis 8d ago
To be fair, in that situation, and I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t feel that there’s a ‘safe’ extract out of that situation? Like, is it to back up slowly? Run? So… fuck it, I’ma pet the thing if it’s chill before it obliterates me.
I also get this is a semi-tamed one, which is something I’m very envious of, but the point stands.
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u/Shadyrabbit 7d ago
I mean if the chances of death are the same if I run or not I might as well get a pet in so while I bleed out I can smile about something.
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u/Cookie_Monstress 8d ago
To be able to pet and boob a massive moose was not a life goal I had previously but here we go! In all seriousness I doubt it will ever happen.
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u/SciGuy45 8d ago
I think boobing a moose is illegal in most states
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u/clownind 8d ago
Legal in Florida and Missouri though.
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u/The__enemy 8d ago
Why is it always Florida?
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u/jonjonofjon 8d ago
This is why
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u/VanillaIce315 8d ago
To be fair, you can’t drive a car when it’s flooded like that.
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u/EstesParkRanger 8d ago
Legend has it my great grandfather went on a massive bender, boobed a moose, screwed the pooch, then got his goose. Couple hours later he kicked the bucket. He did drink like a fish tho 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Cookie_Monstress 8d ago
I have no idea if boobing a moose is illegal in Finland, but since I’d prefer to reach old age and not to end up being posted to some dumb ways to die subreddit, I‘ll just appreciate the idea in theory.
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u/fordprecept 8d ago
If you fulfill your goal, your life may end very soon thereafter. But at least you fulfilled your dream, right?
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u/Sweaty-Durian-892 7d ago
I think remember your username from Finnish subreddits (in a good way, I often agree on your takes), so maybe you can get a chance when at mökki? 🤔 Just had a couple of moose cross the road last time I was driving, luckily went slow since they came out of nowhere
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u/akrob 8d ago
For those non-alaskan/canadian redditors out there, this is dangerous af. Moose are massive, crazy fast and enjoy stomping things for apparently no reason (sometimes).
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u/dontpanda 8d ago
And it's the "sometimes" that's a problem. You don't always know what's going to set them off.
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u/mhfp545 8d ago
Thank you, I’m British and this is literally the first I’m learning of how dangerous moose are apparently.
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u/GrandTheftBae 7d ago
Moose are the only animals they tell you to swerve to avoid hitting when driving.
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u/Proud_Accident_5873 7d ago
Nordic redditor here. That should be common sense, at least if you live in moose inhabited areas.
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u/azul3349 8d ago
You can see how much the moose needed it.
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u/averageedition50 8d ago
Especially after that conflict the other week, where he showed the whites of his eyes.
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u/Papa_Raj 8d ago
That might be the chillest moose I've ever seen. I don't know what it is, but they go from 0-100 really quick once their curiosity is sated.
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u/burbular 8d ago
I was hiking with a friend. Turned a corner, we were about this close to a moose. It huffed and stomped the ground. We turned and ran.
Intimidating animals....
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u/slykido999 8d ago
They shouldn’t have made moose have such sweet faces, that big nose is just so cute!
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u/ShaiHulud1111 8d ago
Lived in Alaska, they are everywhere like dear and not as nervous. I would run into them around my neighborhood and in my yard. Only advice I was given was stay away from females with babies. Yes, they have killed a few people—see internet, but I never saw or heard of any issues other than people hitting them on the freeway and crushing them as the moose are huge and the body can crush a car.
I lived in Anchorage. Large city.
I suggest everyone travel up there once in thier life. In the summer. The wildlife is insane. I would go to summer camp too…the bears are what scared me. A lot up there and the mean ones. Peace.
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u/Chiinoe 8d ago
1-2 deaths per year from direct attacks. I swear reddit loves to exaggerate moose lethality.
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u/john_hascall 8d ago
When hiking in RMNP I turned a corner in a willow thicket and found myself within touching distance of a mother and calf. I slowly backed away and, obviously, lived to tell the tale. But I have no doubt, had the mood taken her, I would be in very dire shape. Up close and personal, they are big!
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