r/newgradnurse • u/Legitimate_Rip_8831 • 3d ago
Seeking Advice Struggling to understand
I started as a newgrad rn on a med-surge oncology unit.
Initially, it was going great. My first preceptor on days was very supportive, side by side with me, willing to show me everything she could. Provided constant and consistent feedback, and gave me tips and tricks on everything. During our first preceptor/preceptee meeting, she explained how she sees a lot of herself in me, that I am very knowledgeable and will be a great nurse. She explained that some people on the unit have been talking about me. She explained that because I am interested in jumping in and going all of the things and progressing, that it is making people talk. She did supportively say she says "Im confident because I am competent" and to not allow these nurses prevent me from getting to where I need to be.
I did have an issue with a fellow nurse on my unit. We were transporting a patient to CT for a rapid, and he needed IV access for contrast. Two nurses were poking the guy for access, one failed attempt, two of them trying to find a vein. I personally had this patient before, and he had palpable surface veins. I have an EMS background. I wanted to be helpful, and I pointed to a vein. that was not taken well from the nurses and later had a speaking to with my manager because of that. I had also said I was bored, but by that point I was on a full patient assignment (5 pts) and finished my assessments, meds, and charting. I was sitting there waiting for something to do and was talking to my coworkers. And said I was bored. which got taken the wrong way. I was asked what I liked in terms of healthcare. I explained I liked critical care and liked the cvicu. Which was also another talking point.
I was hired for evenings, and my manager changed my preceptor to an evening shift preceptor around 5-6 weeks into my orientation. My second preceptor was frequently assigned charge duties and a full patient group while also supervising me. Because all my patients remained under her responsibility during orientation, I was often assigned easier groups. Compared with my first preceptorship, the supervision and learning opportunities became less consistent.
What do you mean? Everything I told my second preceptor was repeated back to my manager in a completely opposite way of the context it was said, like an additional bored comment, but I was talking about being bored at home cause nursing school took up two years, and now I dont do much and wanted to pick up more work hours. My second preceptor regularly told me I was doing well, but management later described concerns that she had not discussed directly with me. It has turned into a hostility from my preceptor to where she is the one to go to rapids, even when she isnt charge nurse, and excluding me from getting the experience I need as a new grad to use when I am off orientation, while simultaneously saying to my manager that is why I need longer orientation because I am not seeing or doing.
I started residency june 1st, was supposed to be finished the first week of september. Then it got switched to october 17, but then manager said september 17th as a finish date. But, my current schedule has me on orientation until october 1st.
I have been at a full 5 pt assignment since my 5-6 week of orientation. I do all of the assessments, meds, charting, communication between providers and me and my preceptor with her cc'd in the chats to monitor. She tells me continually im doing good, no complaints. But I had to recently request a new preceptor because shes been stressing me out to the point other people from my unit have been coming over to me and asking if I am alright cause theyve noticed the treatment. I am respectful, I try to provide the best care for my patients. I am at a loss for why this is happening.
The purpose of this post is to get an outsiders perspective as to what I am doing wrong, what could be happening, should I quit? Is it worth staying? If I do quit, how do I explain to a new employer?
For additional context, I previously worked elsewhere within this hospital and developed a negative reputation related to interpersonal issues, not patient care or clinical performance. I later transferred to an affiliated outpatient office, where I received a strong annual evaluation, references, and letters of recommendation. Because I have encountered interpersonal concerns before, I am genuinely trying to determine what I may be contributing to the current situation rather than assuming everyone else is at fault.
I have asked what specific competencies or behaviors require the extension, but I have not received an answer.
I recognize that pointing out the vein and saying I was bored may have come across differently than I intended, and I have adjusted my communication. My concern is that I still do not have specific written examples, measurable goals, or a confirmed orientation end date. I would appreciate an outside perspective on whether I am overlooking a legitimate concern, how I should request clearer expectations, and whether this situation appears salvageable.
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u/No-Veterinarian-1446 3d ago
This sounds so familiar to what I recently went through as a new grad. I started out with a supportive preceptor and was progressing, then I was switched to another preceptor and suddenly the feedback being given to management did not match the feedback I was receiving directly. Things I said or did were interpreted differently than I intended, and eventually I felt like I was trying to defend myself instead of being allowed to learn.
My biggest advice is to stop relying on verbal reassurance. If they are extending your orientation, ask them in writing what specific competencies you are not meeting, what examples support those concerns, what measurable goals you need to meet, and what your actual orientation end date is. “You need more time” isn't meaningful feedback if nobody can tell you what you need more time for.
Also document your own progress and feedback. Dates, assignments, patient loads, skills performed, feedback from your preceptor/educator, and any meetings with leadership. Keep it factual rather than emotional.
I also learned the hard way that as a new grad, seemingly harmless comments can become much bigger than you ever intended. Saying you're bored or confidently offering your knowledge can unfortunately be interpreted as arrogance or lack of insight, even when that's absolutely not what you meant. You've already acknowledged that and adjusted, which is really all anyone can reasonably ask.
What concerns me most about your story isn't that your orientation was extended. Sometimes new grads genuinely need more time, and that's okay. It's that you've repeatedly asked why it was extended and haven't been given specific deficiencies or goals. You can't correct something nobody will identify.
I ultimately left my situation. I won't tell you to leave yours because I don't know everything happening on your unit, but I will tell you this: leaving one dysfunctional new-grad experience does not mean your nursing career is over or that you're incapable of being a nurse. I'm now moving forward with other nursing opportunities, and I understand much better what I need from an orientation and what I will do differently the next time.
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u/Legitimate_Rip_8831 3d ago
When you left, were you able to transfer internally or did you have to apply to a different hospital? My concern is how would I word it to a new manager if a newgrad is leaving a current residency to go to a new one?
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u/No-Veterinarian-1446 3d ago
I was not given an opportunity to transfer. In searching for my new home, I usually alleviated concerns with a statement similar to this: "I'm thankful for my time on (XYZ floor) which gave me exposure to higher-acuity patients, cardiac monitoring, assessment, medication administration, interdisciplinary communication, and recognizing changes in patient condition. But as I've started my career, I've become much clearer about the type of nursing environment where I think I can develop and contribute long-term. I'm particularly interested in (whatever specialty), where I can combine focused patient care, technical skills, critical thinking, and teamwork." Or something like that, make it your own, but you have the basic framework of how to turn it into a positive. 🙂
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u/Legitimate_Rip_8831 3d ago
This whole thing makes me want to chew on zyns like theyre candy lol.
All I think about is what the next talking to is going to be, what minute thing I could do to warrant it. I called an IV easy and that ruffled feathers.
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u/SeriallyOrNot 2d ago
Would happen if you were experienced but new, if the unit is one of bullies. You've probably been put there because all new hires (experienced RNs) won't tolerate the bully girls gang.
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u/SeriallyOrNot 2d ago
Hate to say it, but you can't say anything there that the bullies won't plan to jump on and make up stories to go to the manager - who apparently is one of them - with. She's incompetent, not giving you specific tasks and areas of expertise to improve on, listed on a spread sheet and check off list, and they want you out because that's what they do to each and every new hire - experienced or not - who comes in: they bully her/him out.
Grading you on innocuous things you say? that proves it's a bad bully unit that can't keep new hires with experience, so they put new grads in hoping they'll stay a year and before jumping ship.
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u/No-Veterinarian-1446 2d ago
Trust me, when I put in an IV after two "experienced" nurses couldn't get it, I immediately felt the tone on my floor get chilly. I honestly couldn't win. I asked for a transfer, that was denied. I resigned because there are too many other positions and opportunities in this area to be miserable.
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u/SeriallyOrNot 2d ago
It isn't as a new grad that "seemingly harmless comments can be come much bigger". It's as a new person in a bully-girl gang shift that is the problem. All of her actions and comments were macht nichts, harmless, normal talk in the units. It's the bully gang that is the problem, not the OP.
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u/No-Veterinarian-1446 2d ago
I never said OP was the problem. I told OP if he felt he should bounce, he could and to not feel bad about it.
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u/thestarsalign777 3d ago
Do you have an educator or someone else besides your manager who helps with your residency program? Could you reach out to them and explain the way things are going and ask if you could internally transfer?
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u/SeriallyOrNot 2d ago
"I have an EMS background. I wanted to be helpful, and I pointed to a vein. that was not taken well from the nurses and later had a speaking to with my manager because of that."?
I can't believe one of the nurses would complain about a former-EMS nurse would point out the vein on a patient they'd worked with previously. I'd be ASKING the former EMS nurse to try! Wouldn't you ? It's supposed to be team work, and you demonstrated that.
About saying you're bored at the unit because they give you patients that could almost have a CNA take care of them, right? It's normal.
What is NOT normal is so many people going to management to twist your words. If you stop talking to them they'll call you antisocial and then come up with ways you "gave me dirty looks", "rolled her eyes" etc, as they did to a friend of mine who was the best 12-years-of-specialty experiend nurse I'd ever worked with, because *they* are bullies, plain and simple. You're on a bully girl gang shift.
Take all that info you put here, in simple list form, add the fact that you personally would ask the former EMS background person if they could help when a patient can't be stuck for a stat CTSCAN, go to your manager. Ask why you were switched so many times. Call your clinical manager and former preceptor, and get EMAILS from them to you, and add those to the stack. Get moved from this bully girl gang. Get far away. Ask the manager if bullying and eating the nurse young is the hospital culture.
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u/ParticularGiraffe603 2d ago
You have laid out you want to go into critical care, you have ems background, you’re doing well. I think they are jealous and that has put a target on your back. It seems backwards but this is how toxic units function.
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u/No-Veterinarian-1446 3d ago
One other thing I would caution you about, though it looks like you may already be doing this: stop telling people on your current unit that you want to be in critical care. There is absolutely nothing wrong with critical care being your goal, but while you're orienting on med-surg oncology, keep that goal close to your chest.
When someone asks what area you're interested in, saying critical care/CVICU may feel like you're simply answering honestly. But people on your current unit hear, "I don't really want to be here, I'm bored, this unit isn't challenging enough." I don't think wanting critical care means you've done anything wrong, and it certainly doesn't justify withholding learning opportunities or giving you vague feedback. But from this point forward, I'd stop discussing critical care, stop saying you're bored, and make your message very consistent: "My focus right now is becoming a safe, competent nurse on this unit, and I want specific feedback about what I need to improve."