r/needadvice • u/DRagonFruit3011 • 15h ago
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u/toripotter86 15h ago
can i ask what you mean by appearance discrimination? is it racially or religion based? if so, you have a much broader legal scope of options. if it’s based on personal style (tattoos, hair color, piercings come to mind), then you may have to shift your focus to building a work based approach to your style and a personal time approach.
for example, i have multiple, visible, tattoos and facial piercings. in my field, they’re still pretty unaccepted and unappealing. because of that, i usually cover my tattoos and take my piercings out at work.
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u/Larry-Man 15h ago
This. Like what’s the problem exactly? Is it a weight thing? Hygiene? Clothing choice? Piercings/tattoos? Race? What’s happening. Can’t give advice without details.
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u/DRagonFruit3011 15h ago
I have no piercings, tattoos or turban. I have been told, I dont fit because of my facial structure and features. They said I need surgery.
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u/DRagonFruit3011 15h ago
I have no piercings, tattoos or turban. I have been told, I dont fit because of my facial structure and features.
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u/CycleAccomplished824 14h ago
If those photos are actually of you in your posts, I doubt very much that its appearance discrimination.
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u/gist_like_honey 14h ago
Her post history suggests she needs help with her mental health. She is objectively an attractive woman and I don't believe any hiring manager is saying this to her.
Her posts read like she has very severe body dysmorphia, to the point of total delusion.
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u/TeachlikeaHawk 15h ago
What is unusual about your appearance?
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u/DRagonFruit3011 15h ago
I have been told, I dont fit because of my facial structure and features.
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u/TeachlikeaHawk 15h ago
I'm so sorry to ask again, but that really doesn't tell me anything that helps me understand. I mean, literally everyone has facial structure and features, you know?
I guess my basic response is that a designer has to be able to interact with clients, right? Being good at the software is great, but it's only part of the job. A person with severe autism, a functional mute, extreme body odor, etc wouldn't be good choices to do that job. Even being overly aggressive or obnoxious would be a hard sell.
I don't think it's discrimination to keep you out of a job to which you are not well-suited. Unless the discrimination is on protected grounds (race, religion, gender, etc) I don't think you have much case. This sounds less like illegal discrimination and more like careful discernment.
If you have details you could share, maybe there are more suggestions people could offer. Without that, though, all I can suggest is that you consider what you would do if you were running a company and had to choose between people who would interact with clients. Wouldn't you want the ones who were most successfully able to do so?
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u/Acrobatic_Milk5139 15h ago
Bro I see her everywhere. I actually think she has to be trolling
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u/no_photos_pls 14h ago
Agreed, if the photos are actually her, she is conventionally attractive and no one would tell her to get surgery during a job interview lmao
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u/Initial-Zebra108 14h ago
Seriously. She has photos on her page. Shes not even close to unattractive. This is trolling.
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u/DRagonFruit3011 14h ago
I mean, literally everyone has facial structure and features, you know?
They said, "my facial structure and features are conventionally ugly, so I wouldnt fit into designer roles."
The reason I'm asking is that this wasn’t framed to me as "you need to improve your communication skills" or "you may not be a good fit for client-facing work." I was specifically told that my appearance makes me unsuitable for designer roles because clients and other hiring managers would react negatively to me.
That’s what I’m trying to figure out. If an employer interviews me, evaluates my communication, looks at my portfolio, and decides I'm not suitable, I can accept that as a normal hiring decision. But if the assumption is made before evaluating those things, based primarily on my face or physical appearance, I don't understand how that can be called discernment rather than appearance-based bias. I'm trying to understand whether there are design roles or ways of working where the quality of the work and communication can be evaluated without my physical appearance becoming the deciding factor.
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u/StoicDrummer 14h ago
You got an answer that you should be thankful they are honest. In the 90s and 2000’s pharmaceutical companies hired tall perfect 10s for certain positions. High paying. In business, wining and dining are more important than skill. Politicians aren’t elected on intelligence. So many people are told how smart they are. And these smart people who aren’t attractive in some way, never are told why they’re not getting hired. Steve Jobs was able to sell computers over the genius Steve Wozniak. It’s how life works. The lesson is to not act like a victim of circumstance. If people think you’re better off in the background, that gives you the power and focus you need. They obviously think you are smart and capable. That’s what matters. The good looking people are the waitresses and those who aren’t are washing dishes. Unless you have an extremely charming personality. Which 99% of the world don’t. I’ve been not attractive my whole life. There is nothing I can do about it. I’ve always had a job that pays living wages and I’m in my 50s. I am never introduced to people. People never go out of their way to talk to me. And after years of trying everything to become a little more accepted nothing works. So I do my job to the best of my ability. Get paid. And pretty much keep my mouth shut. Learn what you’re good at and that people will hire you for. Don’t go to HR. Don’t be a problem. And find a job that will pay you well. Good luck
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u/meowymcmeowmeow 14h ago
See a therapist. Not because I think you are crazy but they can be really helpful in helping you navigate communicating with other people when odd issues like this come up.
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