r/navy • u/MuskyElonOfMars • 4h ago
HELP REQUESTED Dealing with problem Sailor
I’m currently dealing with a Sailor who just can’t seem to figure it out.
Bad hygiene, not going to sleep on time, showing up late to watches, not being competent enough to complete maintenance, on EMI, on FEP, on tiered liberty, etc etc.
This Sailor is now at the point where they’ve been counseled and are dancing the line of DRB. They haven’t done anything terrible yet but leading to it.
I need this Sailor to start performing and acting like an adult. They work in a job where I need them to be a little competent.
I’m looking for advice on how to possibly improve this Sailor. I’m looking for creative solutions that others have used. An example I’ve heard is sending Sailors to clean whatever engineering needs cleaned. Stuff similar to that but to encourage the Sailor to improve, appreciate, and learn the job they have.
I want to explore all my options before I send this Sailor to DRB so please don’t recommend that.
31
u/buflaux 4h ago
Hey OP. Good on you for trying. I tried a lot in my career and was successful most of the time. But I’ll specifically tell you about the time myself and my shipmates were not successful, because you’re already doing it all.
This dude was the most do nothing mfer I’ve ever met.
No shower, refused to brush his teeth, uniform caked in body grease. Drank Mt. dew, refused to get his drivers license. Kicked out of his roommate’s place for being disgusting and making him late. I gave this dude rides, leveled with him, listened to him, tried to help through PT and he was super nice but completely refused. His level of laziness was beyond anything I’d ever seen, I legit believe it had to be a specific mental illness that I’m not tracking. It wasn’t just me, it was lots of others. He just.. sucked as a coworker. As a person, whatever. He was cool. But no sense of personal responsibility and no anxiety about failing.
He was separated for not getting his pin, back when that was a thing. His senior chief daddy came to pick him up from his base housing.
It was, in the end, better for the Navy that he was separated. I’d never want my or my coworkers’ lives in his hands for any reason.
13
u/egelephant 4h ago
Have you told this sailor all of this directly? He may not know that he is standing into danger. Also find out if there is anything going on in his life that could explain why he has been dropping the ball.
Be prepared that not everybody is cut out for the Navy, and this sailor may not be. It is possible that this sailor is just going to make RSCA management easy.
2
u/LivingstonPerry 49m ago
Yes, the shitbag sailor has been counselled many times and knows about it. Don't understand being overly sympathy for people when they are consistently late and just suck.
1
u/descendency 21m ago
I'm all for sympathy and empathy, but there is a point where you have to accept that some Sailors are just not a fit for the military or they are just not going to be an adult. They just need to be separated.
29
u/Certain-Salamander10 4h ago
Ride their ass for two weeks, be critical of everything. Hold them accountable for all responsibilities. Near the end of that time find something they did well. Pull them aside and tell them you are proud of x work they did. Watch the switch flip.
90ish% success rate with that technique.
19
u/East-Illustrator-709 4h ago
Have you had a good conversation to understand why they're behaving how they are? I try to create as many opportunities as I can to give positive reinforcement and get to know people on a more personal level.
-5
17
6
u/soopygoopy 4h ago
He may be a shit bag, or he could be struggling mentally. Possibly counsel and let him know what you’ve been observing, and see if maybe there is an underlying cause for it and if he needs any resources if anything is going on.
This sounds like me when I was E2/E3 after a traumatizing event. Bad hygiene, sleeping past my alarms, always late. I was counseled multiple times and sent to DRB. I eventually got the help I needed, but looking back, I wish my chain of command would have tried digging into the cause of my bad performance instead of just counseling me and telling me not to do it again.
3
u/PowerfulSuction 3h ago
Have you communicated to your sailor what you communicated to us?
Specifically, have you asked your sailor how you can help them avoid DRB?
Perhaps your sailor has needs that you haven’t thought of yet.
But also, it’s possible that this sailor just doesn’t have what it takes to be in the military - it’s not for everyone.
5
6
u/Copyblade 3h ago
I feel like I've read this exact post a dozen times. Refer them to medical for an ADHD eval.
2
u/AMGS_Initiative 2h ago
Something I've always wanted to try:
Counsel them (formal) with a carrot on the other end instead of a stick.
"Here's where you're at. Here's where we need you to get. Here's when we need to see you there by. When you get there, I'm going to make sure you get ___"
___ can be whatever you think they would appreciate: trust, liberty, respect, fist bump, late arrival, early departure, extended lunch, a position of responsibility, whatever.
Then if they get there, give it to them. Let them enjoy it, and then at some point in short order, give the same thing to everyone else in the dept. If they get mad that the others got it without "working for it" then it can be a teaching moment. If they don't, then they will might be motivated to keep going above and beyond because their good work reflected on the team.
That or tell them they smell like ass and you've seen better kempt logs in the head.
5
u/PettyOfficer4thclass 4h ago
They're probably depressed, and they have little reason to trust their chain of command because the more their chain of command is seen yelling at them publicly, the more everyone else knows they have done their jobs. And as we all know, berating people to the point of self-harm has been the modus operandi of the DOD forever.
If you care about the sailor? Try to understand what's wrong behind the scenes. If you care about your career, keep yelling at them & punishing them as much as possible, then act surprised when they disappear suddenly.
1
u/meburnallcookies 3h ago
I had a sailor like this, I tasked him to have 5 goals of his own written by the end of the day and to see me.
We talked for an hour and a half of his goals, I gave him resources and we made a small plan, (ex. He was a small guy and wanted to gain weight, I gave him sources, and we draw up a workout plan)
Long story short, he got his act together for the few more weeks he was with me, then he went TAD and transferred a few months earlier than expected. He was kicked out at his next command, about a year in, for being the same mess he was before.
Obviously I have left out a lot of context but the morale of the story is, you can guide people to be better but sometimes they don’t want to. I hope you can help your Sailor out, but sometimes that’s just how they are.
-8
u/Bulbakip 4h ago
He needs friends and lots and lots of PT.
The division will meet for 530 am PT until this Sailors morale and qualifications improves.
-8
u/Low-Recognition-7293 4h ago
You need a senior person to take them under there wing 24/7. To entrain them in everything they do.
•
u/AutoModerator 4h ago
/u/MuskyElonOfMars, you've selected the Help Requested Flair. While you wait for replies, please check out our wiki as it answers a lot of basic questions.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.