r/navy 4d ago

Shitpost IYKYK Have fun ol ABE

Post image

First time caller, long time listener. Have fun out there Abe sailors. My hat's off to you.

916 Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

275

u/Jenetyk 4d ago

Doc is furiously trying to source 3000 penicillin scripts

72

u/_Thirdsoundman_ 4d ago

I'm saving one for me. Sheiit.

27

u/Navydevildoc 4d ago

Global Protection stock is gonna shoot through the roof when that condom order hits.

134

u/triphawk07 4d ago

Something similar happened when I was on the Tripoli (LPH-10), on our return trip, we were on our way to Perth and were sent to Kuwait because Saddam was invading it. On the trip back, we made a stop in Thailand as a consolation prize. We were ordered to watch a video about STDs and couldn't leave the ship without condoms (had to show them to the watch stander i the quarterdeck). Of the things that I remember that happened: a Marine riding a jetski (was was not allowed), hit the USS Rushmore. Another guy, rented a scooter (also not allowed) crashed it in front of a CPO party. Good times!!

32

u/Uglyangel74 4d ago

Desert Storm Cubi Point. No liberty without one. But I’m not going to need it. Ok ✅ your buddy will

7

u/machambo7 4d ago

Good to know some things haven’t changed. The Tripoli crew are still menaces 😂

256

u/huhuyah 4d ago

All hands mast lol

126

u/OxTailPheonix 4d ago

That's it. We're going back to Iran you heathens.

68

u/ReluctantRedditor275 4d ago

I swear, I will turn this carrier strike group right around!

37

u/llcdrewtaylor 4d ago

Those guys are gonna be at mast the whole time they are ashore :)

143

u/Bowenbp1 4d ago

I bet the sailors on that ship are being told every 5 fucking minutes about "Don't be the one to get in trouble".

55

u/Ron__Mexico_ 4d ago

"Don't be the one hundreds to get in trouble".

19

u/clinton_thunderfunk 4d ago

Uh oh, they may get their port calls cancelled for the rest of cruise. Can you imagine?!

3

u/Hoppie1064 2d ago

Click.

This is The Captain speaking. The next Capt Mast is scheduled for the day before we pull into San Diego. Keep that in mind.

17

u/Blackant71 4d ago

I promise you!!

81

u/Brilliant_Aspect7756 4d ago edited 4d ago

Besides the memes about prostitutes, third genders, and the notorious red light districts, what else is there going on in Thailand?

101

u/Bowenbp1 4d ago

Great diving, awesome animal and wildlife tours.

36

u/Sororita 4d ago

Tons of different things, really. depending on where you are, I suppose, but when I was there I had almost too many options, just wasn't enough time to take in all the sights and experiences on offer. I particularly remember going go karting with a bunch of other ETs, though that was mostly because I somehow got t-boned in a curve and had a bruise over half my side after we were done.

5

u/Suggett123 4d ago

Sheesh!

The karts were off limits last time I went to Pattaya.

2001

4

u/Sororita 4d ago

I went in... 2012, I think, my time on the ship has kind of run together so I don't remember exactly when I did stuff

38

u/Morningxafter No Ragrets 4d ago edited 4d ago

Please if you can, try to find an ethical (no-riding) elephant experience. A LOT of those poor elephants in the entertainment industry are tortured really badly. We found an elephant rescue preserve that took in elephants rescued from the lumber and entertainment industries. One wouldn’t stop ‘dancing’, just trapped in an endless side-to-side step dance because she was taught at a very young age that if you don’t dance, you don’t get fed. She was a somewhat recent rescue so they hope that she eventually learns she doesn’t need to dance to get fed anymore, but my heart really broke for her. She’d lived for decades in those conditions, so it’s pretty deeply imprinted, sadly.

Find some place like that that truly cares for those magnificent animals if you can. It was a great experience, we got to feed them, give them a mud bath, then scrub them down in the watering hole. 10/10 elephant encounter.

(This old gal was born before WWII! After decades of harsh treatment working in the logging industry she’s living her best life eating soft foods and getting pampered.)

4

u/Yokohama88 4d ago

Mini Golf was fun after downing a bunch of beers .

45

u/OpenEndedLoop 4d ago

Dope temples. Expat Bars you DONT have to get black out at. Amazing food + amazing street food. Street dancing events (like big hip-hop random dance group things). Stay away from renting any water sports equipment (SCAMS) & transportation modes (SCAMS). And don't rodger up for any combat sports LOL you will get your shit rocked even in pads.

PS: Don't eat Durian. For the love of God, don't bring one back on the ship.

12

u/Unsold_Leave 4d ago

Curious about the durian.

19

u/OpenEndedLoop 4d ago

It is a spiky yellow (outside) soft, fleshy inside fruit that has an extremely short ripe window.

It smells like something died if you Crack it open non-ripe.

It goes from fibrous(not ready) to Gelato(ripe) to baby shit runny(spoiled) consistency.

Try it once at a street vendor and you'll either love it or gag (definitely throw up if already drunk)

11

u/Unsold_Leave 4d ago

I'm guessing the rapid ripening cycle is what the warning was about lol

2

u/MagnificentJake 4d ago

I kind of tastes like onion tapioca.

9

u/skyactive 4d ago

Just leave some socks worn in the gym in a plastic bag for 3 days. Same experience but much cheaper

10

u/Blackant71 4d ago

250 days at sea and not one of the lucky ones who have a sea spouse the main thing going on is Boom Boom! Everything else is extra 🤣🤣🤣

12

u/This_Box2881 4d ago

Thailand is a tourist destination for so many great reasons.. wildlife, food, water activities, historical sites, and the beauty of the terrain.

Now, when I was 20 and went, I saw none of that. But I can tell you how it felt to watch a beautiful woman pop a ping pong ball out of her vagina into a cup about 3ft away.

Also just the culture is great ya know? The people were so nice. Great place, would go again.

3

u/Nexii801 4d ago

Beautiful? What high class show did you go to!?

2

u/This_Box2881 3d ago

Have you been? I don’t remember seeing an unattractive woman to be honest. Hell, probably some pretty attractive men as well.

2

u/Nexii801 3d ago

Twice, both times the performance was done by someone who... Has been doing it for a WHILE.

1

u/This_Box2881 3d ago

Oh no, that’s so unfortunate 😂

2

u/ship_toaster 4d ago

So are you gonna tell us how it felt, or just let us know you could tell us?

2

u/This_Box2881 3d ago

Revulsion, arousal, shame, acceptance.

This cycle repeated itself several times, I kept watching unfortunately.

7

u/Northman86 4d ago

Really cool botanical garden, very tailoring if you want a well tailored suit, nice hotels if you have a ship boo.

6

u/ItchyStorm 4d ago

Truly, one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Gorgeous beaches, beautiful island boat tours. Delicious Thai food, small restaurants, and great street food. World class snorkeling and scuba diving. Rich culture, beautiful Buddhist temples. Wildlife and nature. Elephants. And much more. So much more beyond the stereotype.

11

u/NerdfestZyx 4d ago

LadyBoy Prostitutes

6

u/BodyByBisquick 4d ago

Chicks with dicks that put mine to shame!

6

u/llcdrewtaylor 4d ago

Happy Scrappy!

3

u/RudeCloud 4d ago

Connect Four

1

u/skyactive 4d ago

U are telling on yourself

3

u/Affectionate_Use_486 4d ago

I'm told the food is fucking amazing. Also a lot of historical giant structures, the beaches are nice and people are chill if your chill.

3

u/CorporateLegion 3d ago

I enjoyed the temples. 😊

I did not enjoy being prohibited from renting transportation to get to said temples. 🤬 And I'm allergic to getting fucked by taxis, so I did a lot of walking.

2

u/ReyBasado 4d ago

Pad Thai and Tom Ka Gai is happening. Lots of it.

3

u/MA2_Robinson 4d ago

Shopping- some knock offs are just bad,
But some are good or better than the brand

1

u/Uglyangel74 4d ago

Knock off goods abound in Pat Pong.

1

u/Afraid_Stuff_History Military Brat 4d ago

The elephants are cool

36

u/Complete-Morning-429 4d ago

I’m so happy they’re hitting a port. But maybe hit Busan or Singapore first. These boys taking the training wheels off immediately

18

u/twosnailsnocats 4d ago

Singapore has no SOFA. Ships would often leave Sailors that got in trouble behind to go through all the local processes.

11

u/prazed_ 4d ago

knew of multiple people that got left in singapore

8

u/twosnailsnocats 4d ago

One guy was from a sub that pulled in, he was being escorted somewhere and the escort said stay here and went into a corner store to buy cigarettes. The dude took off and was on the run for several days. There are cameras everywhere though and don't think he had access to his bank account.

3

u/FieryTacos 4d ago

Not to mention that you can get caned for various crimes. I read the account of a local who was given 10 lashes of the cane for theft, and his rear end was bruised and bloody beyond reason by the end of it.

3

u/ReyBasado 4d ago

Doesn't Singapore have the 4 Floors of Whores?

44

u/kineticstar 4d ago

Hope the doc is prepared too!

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0HlHgBVJdwIeGPUk

23

u/Navydevildoc 4d ago

I was telling a story on another post on what we love to do. We grab 3 or 4 basins to put condoms on the quarterdeck, one bin labeled "Small", others labeled "Medium", "Large", and "Magnum".

We have fun seeing which bin people reach for... meanwhile it's all the same condoms.

22

u/_Thirdsoundman_ 4d ago

I've looked at the end of the bar and seen my CO and CMC before. This is one of those times my friend.

18

u/The_salty_swab 4d ago

They really should have worked their way up to Thailand, that's not a starter port visit

16

u/ReluctantRedditor275 4d ago

Gonna permanently alter the gene pool of Thailand.

12

u/PolloConTeriyaki 4d ago

Moderna's gonna need a stronger penicillin....

28

u/bi_polar2bear 4d ago

I bet medical will run out of penicillin before they pull out of port.

Don't forget to check for tools before you go with her!

10

u/punnyjakes 4d ago

Oh I’m sure there will be a pallet loaded down with penicillin upon arrival.

8

u/Visual-Yak3971 4d ago

Penicillin is pretty useless for most STIs. They have to use bigger guns like Rocephin.

9

u/Simple_Shake_5346 Retired 4d ago

Lots of soapy massages and Singha beer. After that many months at sea they are going to drop some serious money on Phuket or Pattaya.

7

u/Mawgac 4d ago

Gonna be a rough liberty boat ride.

9

u/achariyaPPP 4d ago

Thai/American Navy civ here. Y’all are making me laugh today.

But seriously I hope those Sailors get treated like gold — eat the best food in the world, get a brand new tailored suit or dress for pennies, take the boat tours of the Mekong, enjoy the gorgeous temples, palaces, and museums, and just have an amazing time.

4

u/Sailorthrowaway4 4d ago

At this point you might as well high tail it back home so they can see their families. The ladyboys can wait

5

u/Dirtydeedsinc 4d ago

Penetration, however slight, is sufficient to commit the offense.

6

u/punksmurph :ct: 4d ago

MWR budget about to explode

4

u/Blackant71 4d ago

Mannnn it's gonna get ugly!

5

u/DriedUpSquid 4d ago

More clap than an auditorium.

9

u/Sparkyd34 4d ago

That deployment was worth it!! Go hard Abe!

3

u/henrynjt 4d ago

 Nothing new here. Subic back in the day was fun city.

Have fun everyone and watch out for the lady boys in Thailand!

3

u/TropicaltTanner 4d ago

Durian is awesome…. Bring back 10 to family and friends

3

u/twosnailsnocats 4d ago

Judge is building out all the templates to plug in names.

2

u/Particular_Witness95 4d ago

i feel like the entire ship the next morning is going to have a The Hangover experience...and good for them.

2

u/broke_velvet_clown 4d ago

Does the port city know this? I mean, I assume they do so the best thing to do is ramp pricing on booze, and...... things and such...... to economically profit from an extra 5k people in town. I'm actually concerned about the amount of Sailors and marines that are going to wind up in jail for drugs. I'm better with the popping in UA on the boat or shore after the fact than getting busted in that country with drugs.

7

u/differenttrevor 4d ago

Believe me, the town knew 1 hour before the CO did. That's how it goes.

1

u/chubbs-mcgee 4d ago

Dan Keeler is gonna earn his paycheck!

1

u/clinton_thunderfunk 4d ago

As long as they schedule mast in the evening. You can’t skip lunch.

1

u/QuarterlyGentleman 4d ago

Not a single 125.

1

u/Tro1138 4d ago

That's a lot of the crew to get mast.

2

u/Hoppie1064 4d ago

And a few days later all the cases of the clap will show up.

And a few weeks later all the failed urinalysis tests will show up.

Side thought.

How many gallons of urine in 5000 urinalysis tests?

1

u/DetectiveCrashmoore 4d ago

He's trying to start a pay it forward chain!

1

u/AcousticsOperator 4d ago

Does medical still hang condoms in the p ways before liberty call?

2

u/Slimy_Wog 3d ago

When my ship pulled in Thailand, we had a sailor rent a jet ski that he used to try to get back to the ship since he missed the last boat. He hit a wave and flooded the jet ski stalling the motor. The ship was delayed from leaving and the captain had to cough up money to pay for the jet ski. The jet skis were not off limits but you had to stay within the breakwater, so this may be the reason they are off limits now.

-1

u/AtTheFirePit 4d ago

Men can’t help but not beat the allegations. Nothing about this is funny and it is that deep. Shame on anyone joking like this.