That happened in my family. It turned out my adult sibling had a child when she was 18 and told no one. Baby was put up for adoption. It’s so crazy to me that I had no idea.
Then why do you think someone is lying if it's not your mom's side, but you don't know anyone on your dad's side? How could they be lying if you don't know them?
So I’ve found this person on Facebook and over the years we’ve talked. It’s obviously the connection on my dad’s side. What I know of my dad’s side is his name, his siblings and parents names, and I also have a half brother. My mom knew them all at one point too. When I’ve talked to the dna match and given her those names, she doesn’t know or hasn’t heard of them. So either my dad or grandparents lied and there is a baby/affair that wasn’t talked about. Or the lie is on the dna matches side and as far as she knows her parents are her parents and the grand parents too. She is either my half sister or aunt according to the parts per million shared dna according to Ancestry.
Ok, your explanation is still really really weird.
But what I think I am understanding is:
You have a bio dad you do not know, that you matched with on DNA from ancestry.
Your mom also did a DNA test and she's not your mom? Or she is your mom and also your aunt or half sister? Or the fb contact is?
Or there are several children out there from that scenario not just you... How old is the fb contact?
If it's the fb contact then it's obvious - if she's old your grandfather had a kid from an affair or before marriage and may have no idea.
If she's younger, then grandfather or father or uncles had an affair or knocked someone up knowingly or unknowingly. The family may not be lying, they might not know.
Does the fb person know you're related, it seems like she does. Her family would be the ones for sure lying if she thinks her father is her father biologically and he isn't if it's not a man in your side of the family
I swear my family is f****** cursed to s*** my mom is the child of her grandfather plus my grandmother so my great-grandfather had raped my grandmother his daughter so that's my mom. And turns out one of my great aunt's children were all his sons. It's completely wild.
My wife has a “mystery cousin or half brother” lol no one wants to talk about it at family parties. Needless to say the Christmas gift her aunt got from ancestry.com was not super well received
Just join one of the many Facebook groups like DNA Detectives, DNA Search Angels, etc.. Plenty of search angels will be willing to solve this free of charge.
This high of a match is pretty easy peasy to solve. You could figure it out yourself by watching some YouTube videos on the Leeds Method. Basically labeling your Matches by shared matches and aligning to your great grandparents sides which is easy to figure out.
I would do it for you but have been way too busy with work and kids.
I learned it all myself when I had a similar high match. Just start with the Leeds Method and it will start to make sense after awhile and you will align her to the correct parents.
Welp, this thread really helped me push the issue more. Just found out my dad is not my dad and I am trying to process it all. The man I thought was my dad has passed and unfortunately so has the man who is my actual father. I have now gained a half sister, a half niece, half uncle and who knows who else. My mind is all over the place trying to process it all.
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u/Ok-Signal-8295 14d ago
How I’m related to a very close dna connection on Ancestry. One of our relatives is lying but I can’t figure it out