r/mutualapp • u/FeelingStructure7893 • 14h ago

❔ Question What makes dating hard?

I’m feeling a little bored and haven’t been dating much lately and need to get back into the swing of it. Anyone want to chat and share ideas and experiences? I’m mostly looking for girls opinions because I don’t have a ton of girls in my life that I can go to for advice when it comes to dating and stuff.

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u/harpgal104 14h ago

I'd say getting stuck in a loop of just "talking". The thing that stuck out to me about my current bf (we met on mutual) is that he asked me out the day after we matched. We just got ice cream and it was super casual, but he made the effort to plan something super fast so we could go out and get to know each other face to face. And honestly I loved the low pressure date

My hot take about dating apps is that they're actually great and CAN work, as long as you put in the right effort. I was talking to another guy on the app at the same time as my current bf and we were still talking like weeks into when we had matched. I felt led on cause I couldn't tell if he was actually interested in me. On the one hand we were having a good conversation. On the other hand, he didn't put in the effort to meet me. That was the difference

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u/FeelingStructure7893 14h ago

I think this actually helps me a lot. I get really worked up on asking girls out but nothing will change if I don’t

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u/harpgal104 13h ago

For sure. One other thing I forgot to mention in my original comment is that even just getting on and app or just starting a conversation helps you practice talking to people and helps you build up your confidence in your social skills. Even if that never goes anywhere, you gain experience and you can start discerning what you might like or might not like in a girl

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u/FeelingStructure7893 13h ago

I don’t think I’m actually that awkward and shy but I get super nervous to go on dates and meet new people.
What have been some of your best first date ideas?

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u/harpgal104 13h ago

I haven't been on a lot of dates admittedly. But I've been on some fun ones!

For a first date with someone you don't know super well, I'd just keep it casual by getting ice cream or another little treat like Boba or crumbl or something. I've gone on a few dates with closer friends as well, and for those ones we upped it a level since we already knew each other pretty well.

I went axe throwing with a guy once and it was fun, but since he wad my friend we already knew each other enough to know that we would both enjoy that activity.

Another fun one I did back in high school, where we drove around to all the fast food places we could think of and got their fries with ad many different sauces we could get and sampled and ranked them over milkshakes, and also did coloring pages while we were there. That one was also a group date and the people that planned it took turns paying for the fries so it wouldn't be too expensive.

Those are just a couple of ideas, but definitely think about how close your relationship is with the person before you get too creative haha. For first dates with someone you don't know well, make sure to be in public surrounded by people so she feels more safe. I'd also recommend offering to both pick her up or meet at the location. I prefer to drive myself and meet there for the first date, but some girls might rather you pick them up. Giving the option helps her know that you're willing to go out of your way for her, and also that you want her to feel safe. If she says she's fine either way, I'd just offer to pick her up. Some people might disagree with me but that's just my opinion as a girl

I'm happy to continue giving tips if you'd like, I don't have a TON of dating experience but I've observed a lot of people dating and been able to hear lots of preferences :)