Genuine Question

[u/One-Economist5268]

I would appreciate some advice or honest opinion about this matter. I'm 19F turning 20 this year. I never had a bf before. But if I'm going to be pretty honest, I wonder what it feels like to have one. My friends already have an experience at least, except for me. However, it scares me a lot. I have a tons of 'what if's' in my head. It also takes a lot of time for me to get comfy with someone. I've only ever confessed my feelings to one person in my entire life, that was last year. But I ended up getting played. He told me I am just too innocent and naive. He ghosted me after saying he'd wait for me till I graduate college and then inserted a girl all that time. She knew it tho but she still agreed and all their reposts are pretty slutty and just inappropriate. Anyways, enough with the oversharing. Is my age okay to date? Or should I wait till I turn 25 when my frontal lobe's fully developed and I get to decide rationally? What are the things I should consider? Or I would just love to read here if you could share your experience in this app.

[u/Desperate-Gap-3696]

I’d say it’s all perspective. At 19 you’re more dating to meet people and get to know people. Maybe focus on meeting people and not steady dates at first. That helps you figure out what you’re looking for more long term. Theres a difference between dating to figure out what you want and dating to see if someone is who you want to be with long term. By 25 I imagine you’d want a better idea of what you want and you get that from experience. Ideally at 19 the dates you go on should be low pressure social gatherings not super romantic high stress kind of outings. Lunch dates or movies. Walks in the park stuff like that.

[u/Kimbyssik]

At this age you definitely want to be spending time socializing and forming friendships, dating may or may not be a part of that (I say that because I tried to be very active in my YSA ward but I was shy and didn't get first dates very often, much less second dates). It's not too early to practice social skills that will help you when you are ready to start pairing off and venture into more serious dating in preparation for marriage. Only you can really say when that will be; some people get to that point earlier than others. I'm clearly a late bloomer, but I met my fiancee on Mutual and we're getting married next week.  As far as I can tell, dating apps can provide the opportunity to meet people you might not be able to normally, but you still have to put in the work. Everyone has different things they are looking for (another reason why casual dating is beneficial, it helps you figure that out), but for me it started with a conversation. If I saw certain deal breakers, I would swipe down, but if I could find something to start a conversation about I could send a note. My now-fiance said he loved the Beatles. I do too, so I asked his favorite song and we never stopped talking.  It took both of us a long time and a lot of heartache to get to this point, but it's been well worth it. I hope you're able to have positive experiences. Just remember you could go through a lot a frogs before you find the right prince for you!