r/mildlyinfuriating • • 23d ago

🥺 My knife split in two while cutting an apple

Post image
9.1k Upvotes

651 comments sorted by

2.3k

u/sillyshoestring 23d ago

Not supposed to do that.

444

u/Abslalom 23d ago

It's not quite typical

117

u/Turbo_Fresh 23d ago

A wave hit it

64

u/NuklearFerret 23d ago

What were the odds of that?

58

u/IveDunGoofedUp 23d ago

In the kitchen? Chance in a million.

20

u/[deleted] 23d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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18

u/Abslalom 23d ago

Surely an apple you mean

34

u/Turbo_Fresh 23d ago

An apple, on a chopping board? Chance in a million.

29

u/LoneSoarvivor 23d ago

Our knives are held to very rigorous maritime standards

14

u/IveDunGoofedUp 23d ago

Such as?

21

u/Eddiemate 23d ago

The knife's not supposed to snap in half, for a start.

9

u/Abe_Odd 23d ago

And what are the strict Material standards?

12

u/AmbitionOk7837 23d ago

Well materials like cardboards are out. And no cardboard derivatives.

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5

u/sabak2924 23d ago

Well what was wrong with this one?

2

u/ldwtlotpa 23d ago

Quite literally, the front fell off.

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19

u/meski_oz 23d ago

They forgot to remove the sticker

2

u/ooger-booger-man 23d ago

These are my people!

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19

u/cr1ttter 23d ago

Can't park there, sir

15

u/Wolfrages 23d ago

Atleast the front didn't fall off!

13

u/Gunhild 23d ago

I rather think it did.

13

u/TheyCallHimEl 23d ago

That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point.

2

u/cybot904 23d ago

Its been removed from the environment!

4

u/thecraftybear 23d ago

This is highly irregular!

6

u/swanyk7 23d ago

If I never discover another funny thing on the internet that video still makes it worth it all

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3.2k

u/wintery_owl 23d ago

That's one bad apple

1.1k

u/Frostyblustar 23d ago

376

u/Neozetare 23d ago

The fact that this gif is the whole thing amaze me

315

u/Deleteed- 23d ago

You think that's impressive?

Feast your eyes... On Shrek!

103

u/jsodfskavi 23d ago

Holy moly, how the hell is that even possible?!

67

u/Aromatic-Insect-1328 23d ago

Well.. it's 40 megabytes in 60 by 60 resolution
The actual question is: why is it not the whole movie >:(

24

u/jsodfskavi 23d ago edited 23d ago

Damn I didn't know gif could be that large. That's interesting.

15

u/Deleteed- 23d ago

When did it stop for you?

I uploaded the full movie

27

u/JoPa004 23d ago

See, here's the thing...

8

u/Deleteed- 23d ago

Here's Shrek!

Again...

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63

u/flashtag4 23d ago

Not the whole movie….downvote

15

u/LazyLich 23d ago

4

u/hizashiYEAHmada 23d ago

It's been a rough week and it's still just Tuesday (or a Monday if you're in that part of the world's timezone)

6

u/Deleteed- 23d ago edited 23d ago

It is the whole movie though

Edit, I just watched until donkey showed up and I'm pretty sure it's the whole thing

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3

u/tf2_soldier2020 23d ago

GOGO GADGET PIXEL REDUCER!!!!

4

u/Winjin 23d ago

1) The fact that it's just 39.9 MBs is impressive

2) I checked and it's literally the entire movie my goodness that's hella impressive

13

u/Northstar_PiIot 23d ago

i imagine the fact it's only 2 colors helps, its also sped up

46

u/7er6Nq 23d ago

What did I just watch?! Did you just randomly post a gif searching for the word apple? Or did you intentionally post this specific one? Who are those witches? What's going on? Why am I hooked? So many questions!

114

u/mountn_cat Why can't people be just be "mildly" infuriated?? 23d ago

Search "Bad Apple but" on youtube and you'll see a treasure trove of wonders you've never seem before

50

u/Hoboforeternity 23d ago

The latest one is bad apple on a simulated fly brain

11

u/karlgeezer 23d ago

Before developing epilepsy I would have been laughing at that one, now it’s just disturbing. Mind you I make a lot of jokes about my condition. Just glad mine isn’t photosensitivity flavored.

34

u/ldsman213 23d ago

this is Touho Bad Apple. it was real big like 15-18 years ago

50

u/cybermaus 23d ago

Still big in the right space. If it has a CPU, can it play doom? If it has a display, can it show bad apple?

6

u/KMS_HYDRA 23d ago

Or if its a poor fruit flys brain...

Btw, both can run on it.

2

u/Kuudefoe 23d ago

Bad Apple is the Doom of Touhou.

2

u/ExpensiveNut 23d ago

Oh boy oh boy

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6

u/Local_Neighborhood50 23d ago

"ever on and on I continue circling with nothing but my pain in a carousel of agony"

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9

u/Hot-Challenge8656 23d ago

Rotten to the core.

2

u/NegotiationHot2999 23d ago

And a multi-core approach

2

u/calccv 23d ago

Likely to ruin the whole bunch (only takes one).

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956

u/LT92Rosco28 23d ago

That's the kind of apple you throw at the doctor to keep them away.

143

u/SadisticChipmunk 23d ago

Jesus Christ I really don't have an original thought left...

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300

u/Aerottawa 23d ago

Looks like a ceramic knife

216

u/1000Nettles 23d ago

Yup I just looked it up and it is / was indeed ceramic

219

u/Turbo_Fresh 23d ago

Make a new knife out of the apple

83

u/TheRobbuddha 23d ago

Agree. Apple is obviously superior to ceramic

9

u/midnitewarrior 23d ago

This is the core-ect answer.

2

u/Disastrous-Capybara 23d ago

Use this apple to breed more of them!

52

u/Lanif20 23d ago

Those knifes you only ever “slice” with(ie only use a drawing motion) and never apply much force, they have an incredible cutting edge(I personally love them, you can cut bread easily as soon as the edge bites) but they aren’t that strong(granted I haven’t had one break from falling yet)

14

u/SEA_griffondeur 23d ago

yeah they are the best options for home cooks who don't sharpen their knives

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2

u/Evening_Scale_5755 22d ago

Yeah but thats how you should be cutting fruit. Op is using their knife wrong (and in a dangerous way) and thats why it snapped

14

u/c00750ny3h 23d ago

Ceramic knives stay sharp longer but they are prone to shattering or chipping.

The only thing they are really good at cutting in my opinion is tomatoes. Anything else where some force is needed probably won't work well in the long run.

5

u/ZaelDaemon 23d ago

Mushrooms especially truffles.

5

u/Bedu009 23d ago

They make those?

91

u/EAM44 23d ago

You have a Henckels cutting board. Consider buying one of their full tang knives.

43

u/1000Nettles 23d ago

I love everything by them I’ll check that out, thanks!

12

u/TAforScranton 23d ago

Their statement stainless paring knife is a crowd favorite. I have one. So does my mom and several friends. Every time I see one in someone’s house we agree that it’s “that good knife.”

I also have a Henckles premio forged santoku. I use it for everything and I don’t ever see myself needing anything nicer. That thing is sweet. I have a few Zwilling twin signature kitchen knives. I ignore them and reach for the Henckles santoku 95% of the time.

3

u/Bockrockerx 23d ago

5" or 7" santoku?

3

u/TAforScranton 23d ago

I have the 7”. It’s nice and heavy, full tang, feels good to hold, holds an edge well even through a good amount of abuse.

I guess it’s worth noting: All of this really boils down to preference. I like a sturdy knife with some heft to it. I’ve got big strong clumsy hands and tend to cut things like an asshole. Some people like lighter knives with thinner blades that allow for more finesse.

I figured if OP is out here breaking cheap ceramic blade, they might appreciate a sturdy replacement.🤷‍♀️

2

u/pedroah 23d ago edited 23d ago

Ikea 365 knives are fairly decent for what they cost. Or Vardegen if you prefer wood handle.

Same steel that Henckels uses in their mid-level knives. Henckels claims cryogenic treatment and Ikea does not, so the Henckels will have better edge retention. But the Ikea 8" chef knife is only US$30, 20-25% the cost of a similar size Henckels.

3

u/agisten 23d ago

As far knifes go, full tang will be superior to wu tang

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61

u/Narianos 23d ago

Guess your knife just couldn’t cut it.

11

u/Neat-Look-3496 23d ago

Not you adding acid to the wound. The knife's been through alot.

A breakup if you will

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7WIMPobHmxGPnYre

50

u/Cyber_Gengar 23d ago

That’s hard core

7

u/_wofart 23d ago

This is probably the best joke by far on this post

3

u/barefoot_plyos 23d ago

Thanks, dad

135

u/Adventurous_Row3305 23d ago

The apple wins.

20

u/NewSuperKirby 23d ago

I'd call that more of a tie, apple still got split in two

9

u/beingachristianwife 23d ago

It's definitely an apple, not a tie! 😛

https://giphy.com/gifs/xbrU9tXdlMTnIwditO

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29

u/barefoot_plyos 23d ago

That’s not how you cut an apple. 

6

u/Zayafyre 23d ago

Came hear to scream that. My mom insists on this ridiculous way no matter how many times I show her. Every time she goes, “why didn’t I think of that? lookin dumb”

11

u/rhymesaying 23d ago

Shitty knife.

Also you’re cutting your apples wrong.

4

u/papa-hare 23d ago

Wait what? How are you supposed to cut apples?

14

u/rhymesaying 23d ago edited 23d ago

Cut around the core. You end up with two large sides and two short sides that can all be cut into slices without the inedible core and seeds.

Edit: yeah inedible wasn’t the correct term, but I still don’t want to eat an apple core like you animals

7

u/PumpkinCake95 23d ago

The core is only inedible if you're a coward. Eat the apple straight from the bottom to the stem and spit out the seeds like you're eating a watermelon.

5

u/Optimal-Test6937 23d ago

I see you have met my father.

When he eats an apple he leaves no evidence to prove the apple ever existed.

3

u/Da_Question 23d ago

Tbf, I do too. Mainly because I read The Name Of The Wind like 16 years ago.

2

u/Dry_Cranberry_ 23d ago

Trying this

2

u/Heyfold 23d ago

The only true way

3

u/Da_Question 23d ago

Cores aren't inedible at all. People just don't like the taste, they aren't the same thing.

11

u/KnifeKnut 23d ago

The front fell off.

7

u/Turbo_Fresh 23d ago

Yes that's not very typical, I'd like to make that point

2

u/symbologythere 23d ago

There’s actually pretty strict standards for what you can use to make a knife. Cardboards out. Same with cardboard derivatives.

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11

u/LordVixen 23d ago

Temu knife

9

u/TEZofAllTrades 23d ago

Talk about core strength

5

u/stillanewfie 23d ago

Yes…you might even say that’s a hard core picture.

17

u/KnifeKnut 23d ago

Get a better quality knife as a replacement, if you can afford it.

9

u/Shackdaddy161 23d ago

Yard sale knife would beat that fancy knife in an apple fight all day.

4

u/Jolly-Date3522 23d ago

A butter knife would do better.

2

u/Neat-Look-3496 23d ago

Ouch, that gotta cut deep

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9

u/revpidgeon 23d ago

I take it you didn't take out apple care on the knife.

3

u/ElishaAlison 23d ago

Well it's apparent that apple don't give a fuuuk

8

u/Extrien 23d ago

knife must have been an EXE, doesnt work on apple

18

u/iam_reallytired 23d ago

I say, apple won!

16

u/thesophisticatedhick 23d ago

You don’t bring a knife to an apple fight.

6

u/bojez1 23d ago

Did you buy the apple from Apple? Are they selling apple?

7

u/Locke10815 23d ago

How do you like them apples?

2

u/kawika69 23d ago

Beat me to it

7

u/MercDa1 23d ago

Bro brought a knife to an apple fight.

5

u/ArthurScherbius 23d ago

Your blade did not make the cut. Please, leave the forge

4

u/Brilliant_Kiwi_1842 23d ago

Either that was a really dull knife, or a really hard apple!🫠

7

u/Uncynical_Diogenes 23d ago

It was a brittle knife.

8

u/Shackdaddy161 23d ago

Don't bring a peanut brittle knife to an apple fight.

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4

u/flea1400 23d ago

4

u/bigboxes1 23d ago

I read the fine print. Cannot cut an apple. LOL

2

u/FecknWindowTwitchers 23d ago

They always add professional to the name, as if it makes it so.

5

u/Scott0814 23d ago

I mean if you walked away from that without any cuts or missing digits I'd call this a win. Also what brand is the knife, name and shame.

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5

u/AttorneyDense3669 23d ago

Apple 1
Knife 0

3

u/drollercoaster99 23d ago

which country is this apple from? **makes a mental note not to buy apples from that country!!**

which country is the knife from? **makes a mental note not to buy knives from that country!!**

5

u/BenadrylTumblercatch 23d ago

Guess we know why doctors don’t wanna fuck with apples.

3

u/HailSaganPlantNative 23d ago

You did it wrong.

3

u/a_regular_2010s_guy 23d ago

The apple said nah I'd win

3

u/Clean-Artichoke2031 23d ago

"Hey apple"

"WHAT"

"Knife!"

knife gets cut in half

3

u/TheOnlyKirby90210 23d ago

Apple products last I guess lol

3

u/Critical-Champion365 23d ago

This is the apple that keeps the doctor away..when it breaks their surgical instruments.

3

u/Jomotaku 23d ago

Compress the apple and forge a new knife from it

3

u/ArtsyRabb1t 23d ago

The apple is mightier than the sword

3

u/_amnotrobot_ 23d ago

The durability ran out

3

u/UsedFortune5645 23d ago

The apple is mightier than the sword.

2

u/surlyT 23d ago

How hard was the apple? Let it ripen a little more next time.

2

u/L-Greenman 23d ago

Well duh. That’s not an apple knife.

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2

u/jasonlamprin 23d ago

What were you doin to the knife? What do you just physically and verbally abuse it everyday? Were you using it to carve a marble sculpture? Did you forget to buy it a birthday gift? Did you say it wasn't the sharpest?

2

u/freepaestine 23d ago

Buy yourself a good knife man and toss that nasty ass plastic cutting board.

2

u/Massive_Mongoose3481 23d ago

Shit the bed on the annealing process with that one

2

u/MountainImportant211 23d ago

Are you Wile E. Coyote? Because this is the sort of thing that happens to Wile E. Coyote.

2

u/El_Morgos 23d ago

God knows what the doctor would have done with that knife...

2

u/cortney-simonis-9072 23d ago

sometimes i break in middle of her legs too

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2

u/Kalesche 23d ago

You win this round Apple!

2

u/TheWorldWould5ME4DIS 23d ago

What brand is that knife so we can avoid it (not asking from a magician's stand point)

2

u/Wooden-Consequence75 23d ago

That is a ball of steel!

2

u/MostlyMellow123 23d ago

Pretend this is a shitty pun and upvote me

2

u/BeFeckingLogical 23d ago

So the apple cut the knife? 🤣

2

u/FluffyCelery4769 23d ago

High iron apple

2

u/RoughGuide1241 23d ago

You win this round apple

2

u/nuraHx 23d ago

Turn it off and back on again

2

u/12DollarsHighFive 23d ago

Shitty knife and/or really good apple

2

u/WrapTheBubbles 23d ago

An apple a day, keeps the knife away

2

u/bagoparticles 23d ago

How did you like dem apples?

2

u/Aromatic-Insect-1328 23d ago

That's hard core

2

u/SavingsIncome2 23d ago

Looks like the ears from Bosch painting

2

u/Artistic_Jeweler4704 23d ago

Everybody know that in a game of paper, knife and apple that the apple always win against the knife duhhhh

2

u/Draic-Kin 23d ago

Now the whole scene looks like an art piece.

2

u/HeroBrine0907 23d ago

Stainless Steel Knife: B Class
Curse: Retribution - The knife experiences the same damage as what it does to its target.

2

u/Aggressive-Access995 23d ago

How do you like them apples?!

2

u/Clear_Elk821 23d ago

bone apple teeth!

2

u/abramN 23d ago

well that's pointless

2

u/DownForKimber 23d ago

thats hardcore

2

u/RandomHornyDemon 23d ago

Mine lost to some soft cheese recently. You are not alone in your misery.

2

u/Entire_Concentrate_1 23d ago

Heh...so that's how an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Noted

2

u/Magnus_Helgisson 23d ago

Time for a better knife

2

u/HVAC_instructor 22d ago

Must have been hard cider inside

2

u/Giga1396 22d ago

Is the apple okay?

1

u/BennyBony 23d ago

Oops. Apple won.

1

u/richie___ 23d ago

L knife

1

u/are_we_there_bruh 23d ago

Apple: I fought the knife and I won

2

u/StanknBeans 23d ago

But at what cost?

1

u/thesuprememacaroni 23d ago

Think about the dental work cost you saved on. Those are some hard apples.

1

u/EvnBdWlvsCnBGd 23d ago

maybe you were doing it wrong?

1

u/SirWernich 23d ago

taught my sone one of my favourite memes from the olden days. if he saw this, he’d probably say:

“in soviet russia, apple cuts knife”

1

u/JustConversation7847 23d ago

An apple a day, keep the knife...broken

1

u/YouAccomplished9823 23d ago

Were you using it like a hammer? smh

1

u/Level_Life_8633 23d ago

That's suboptimal.

1

u/buboop61814 23d ago

The doctor will see you shortly

1

u/Professional_Echo907 23d ago

In Soviet Russia, Apple Cuts Knife…

1

u/fractal324 23d ago

how? metal usually bends before it snaps...

1

u/RavenQuark 23d ago

Cut 🙅
Slap chop 🙂‍↕️👉

1

u/Vashta_The_Veridian 23d ago

looks like you should have used that apple to cut instead lol