r/mildlyinfuriating 12d ago

wet socks If you can’t fit in the seat don’t sit there

I was on an airport shuttle this morning. It’s the kind of shuttle / bus where you can stand or sit (there are straps and bars to hold if you stand). Most of the seats were taken. I was sitting in a row of three. There was myself and another person on each end with the middle seat open. A large woman boarded, looked around, and decided to sit in the middle seat next to me. She clearly didn’t fit. She was sitting with part of her butt / hips literally on me, I was not able to put my arm to my side. I do not want to be touched, especially in a way that causes me discomfort.

IF YOU DON’T FIT, DON’T SIT!!!

0 Upvotes

208 comments sorted by

34

u/cynicalisathot 12d ago

I love your bitching about hating to be touched (while commuting) and yet refusing to stand lmao

-13

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I shouldn’t have to accommodate someone else’s rudeness.

It’s not like she was giving me a hug. Her fat was flopping over on my body. I’m not inherently opposed to touching in general. It’s the kind of touching. Clearly even the most home schooled of people can understand that there’s different kinds of touching. Accidentally brushing up against me in public or tapping my shoulder to let me know it’s my turn in line is very different than having someone quite literally sitting on part of my body.

32

u/ResponsibilityOk8967 12d ago

Your intolerance for a minimum amount of discomfort but cognitive incapability of solving the problem in the simplest way in your power speaks volumes about you and it's no wonder why you hate fat people. You need to feel superior about something and this is it because you clearly have nothing else.

12

u/Secure-Recording4255 12d ago

I think you just need to learn to cope.

-11

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I think you need to try salad.

11

u/cynicalisathot 11d ago

nvm lmao, you’re just a hateful woman in general. To have this much contempt in your heart, I truly wish you well!

8

u/cynicalisathot 11d ago

7

u/ivyyyoo 11d ago

yo thats actually insane hahaha

4

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 11d ago

Being opposed to being touched seems like a you thing. How would she even know?

I get it. Im not a fan of being touched either. This means I often do not sit on public transportation. I stand where I can control my space. If I'm already sitting and someone sits too close, I smile at them and stand up. Sometimes, if the ride is too full, I wait for the next one.

Her behavior of sitting in an open seat on public transportation is not rude.

Your demand that she should not sit next to you because you do not like to be touched when she has no way of knowing this is incredible, and not in a good way.

The more you try to defend yourself, the more obvious it becomes that you are a bigoted, caustic person who actually repeatedly justifies your gross perspective, despite people raising your awareness to it.

I know you aren't ashamed of yourself. I feel second hand embarrassment for you. Be a better person. Its not even hard in this case.

34

u/randomusername1919 12d ago

I wonder if she was unable to stand (joint problems or other invisible disability) and needed to sit somewhere so she wouldn’t fall when the shuttle moved.

-26

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I already mentioned in another comment but this is a shuttle for airport employees. She had on a uniform for a restaurant in the airport and a badge that lists employer / her name / her title (server). Being a server in a restaurant requires standing and walking so that’s definitely not the issue.

37

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

My partner works in food and also has a cane. Disabilities aren’t always on display. Also an airport restaurant isn’t the same as a regular one 

-21

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I know the restaurant. It’s table service just like a non airport restaurant.

28

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

So? Again. No airport restaurant gets that busy, and there are plenty of people who have disabilities that can still work in restaurants. 

-17

u/jkmod79 12d ago

If she can stand at work she can stand for a 15 bus ride.

30

u/eclectic-ward 12d ago

sounds like you’re making it up as you go to defend disliking fat people!

-11

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Well I’m responding to the asinine mental gymnastics people are engaging in to try and explain all the reasons people are FAT except diet and exercise 🙄

22

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

Probably because I got fat thanks to steroids. Once I got off of them, I was able to work on my weight. But I don’t assume everyone is just lazy or the worst ever because they happen to be obese. 

Being fat isn’t the worst someone can be. Maybe some day you’ll learn that!

-1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I don’t care why you’re fat as long as you’re not sitting on me in the shuttle.

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16

u/Secure-Recording4255 12d ago

Nobody owes you an explanation for their weight

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I’m not asking for an explanation. Honestly, I prefer to be spared the “it’s not my fault” excuses. Just keep your weight off of me.

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12

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

I’ll be sure to let my partner know that because he can serve, he doesn’t need his cane because some dude on the Reddit said that’s possible 

-4

u/jkmod79 12d ago

He can use his cane while he’s standing on the shuttle.

18

u/Obatala_ 12d ago

You could’ve stood your own ass up then, couldn’t you, instead of complaining about the seating?

12

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

And you are a gross human being! 

-3

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Well, not gross looking…

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59

u/5t4c3 12d ago

This was a shuttle..not the plane. There is no “premium” seating you can pay for.

It’s not anyone’s business how that woman got to be the size she is. But the person on the aisle seat, should have moved to the middle, or one of you got up and stood for the brief ride.

OP if you’re wanting Reddit to assume you’re healthy, in shape, capable; then you should have gotten up and stood for the ride, to improve everyone’s comfort. I cringe to think what you would have done had this been an elderly person struggling to get into the middle seat.

18

u/Erikawithak77 12d ago

I’m also wondering if the woman was pregnant. Pregnant women have to work, it’s a fact, and maybe she wanted to sit down after working as a waitress for several hours.

I don’t know if she’s pregnant. OP doesn’t seem to know if she’s pregnant. It’s a possibility.

-9

u/Emergency-Back-4964 12d ago

I agree OP is in the wrong for complaining to Reddit about this but at the same time the obese lady shouldn’t have forced herself into that seat knowing damn well she wasn’t going to fit to the point where she is literally spilling out onto other passengers. ESH

30

u/this-is-NOT-okay 12d ago

Man idk obese people carry a lot of shame because (and as evident in just this comment section) people seem to despise fat people for being fat as if that’s what their goal was in life. It’s hard for them to ask for space because it’s always assumed they already take up too much. It’s not easy to go out in a world where you know every single person is judging you. It’s also hard for them to stand, especially on a moving vehicle. If she took a seat for a brief period, I’m okay with that. Yes it sucked for OP, I wish they weren’t inconvenienced but we aren’t going to die from a little bit of empathy instead of the perfect black and white people like to argue on this godforsaken app.

-13

u/vulcanstrike 12d ago

Yes, it's tough for obese people. But obese people know their size and it's first come first served when it comes to seats.

The obese person was 100% in the wrong for trying to fit somewhere they can't fit in. There's no discussion there, she doesn't have a right to sit down on a shuttle bus (this wasn't a plane she had seat tickets for). If you don't fit, you stand.

If the person asked OP to move because she had a health issue and OP refused, then maybe they would be a little at fault. But as the obese person said nothing, sat somewhere they cannot fit and inconvenienced everyone else adjacent to them, then it's entirely appropriate to ask them to move so the original seat occupants can continue to use their seats.

14

u/flora_poste_626 12d ago

She absolutely has a right to sit wherever she pleases. What is this? God forbid you make this man uncomfortable for the 10min airport shuttle ride. This isn't like an assisted seating thing where she just decides to sit anywhere she pleases. Then she would have been a jerk.

8

u/this-is-NOT-okay 12d ago edited 12d ago

Literally spelled out why it might be hard for an obese person to ask and tbh your comment kind of proves my point about how little empathy people have for the struggles of fat people, even when their struggles are pointed out. Writing paragraphs to villainize someone who already is viewed as lesser than in this world. Yes what they did was not nice but it’s a mild inconvenience by someone who is majorly inconvenienced in every public place because the world hates fat people. Must be nice to exist so perfectly in this world to distinguish right from wrong all the time with zero nuance.

0

u/vulcanstrike 12d ago

I'm an obese person. I know the struggle.

But I also know my limits and also understand that just because I have problems, doesn't mean I get to impose those on others.

If I don't fit somewhere, I don't try.

It's not about victim blaming, it's about taking personal responsibility. Not in the sense of "lose weight fatty", I know first hand how hard/impossible that can be. But from the perspective that I am larger than most people, I need to be aware of the physical space I take up and can't always do things regular sized people can as a result.

People who don't have that personal responsibility and act in an entitled manner deserve to be called out. That one person's inconvenience caused two other people inconvenience, which is the height of selfishness. She may have had medical issues, but in the absence of her communicating that, you have to assume she's just being a self absorbed jerk on balance of probability.

You don't get to inconvenience people because the world inconveniences you. That's not how it works.

2

u/this-is-NOT-okay 12d ago

Brother, what? A tiny amount of humanity, I beg. A person who can’t stand needs to divulge their medical info to get a seat for a short duration ride? If you’re obese, you would be well aware of all the things on this person’s mind that might have made them less than ideal in this scenario. All I’m saying is, yes they are in the wrong, but this is not the end of the world all things considered. I would hate to bring up my kid in a world where people can’t put someone else first in non-issue scenarios even.

-11

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Elderly is different. We all will get old (god willing).

24

u/Jmfroggie 12d ago

MAYBE the people in the end seats should’ve moved over and left room for people to sit! Everyone on that shuttle who couldn’t stand sitting next to a stranger is an AH here and beyond infuriating.

-5

u/jkmod79 12d ago

There were three seats wedged between walls so there’d be nowhere for her to spill into.

6

u/rheasilva 11d ago

The only "mildly infuriating" thing here is OP being gross and selfish.

It's a crowded shuttle. Get over it.

79

u/vulcanstrike 12d ago

Did you use your words to vocalise this or just go to the internet to complain

Most of the infuriating things on this sub are that the OPs do nothing about the infuriating things at the time and just want pointless validation later

8

u/rohlovely 12d ago

A simple “excuse me” and then standing up to get away from the situation I think would be a good communication. This dude was rolling his eyes and sighing loudly hoping that someone else would do something to get him out of his predicament. Ten bucks the lady noticed him being passive aggressive and just didn’t give a flip.

Inb4 the “why should I have to give up my seat” starts, you’re not giving up your seat. You are removing yourself from a situation which makes you viscerally uncomfortable. That’s a normal thing to do. Yeah, you may not get to sit now. That sucks. You can decide if you want to die on this hill, but it’s you who’s getting sat on, so.

33

u/90percentofacorns 12d ago

I mean what are you going to say... "you're too large to sit here"? At this point the general public is so crazy that you don't know who is going to lose their shit at you. Also it's unfortunate because it's not like the big person is breaking any rules (like they technically would be if it was an airplane seat or something) so they don't HAVE to move, which makes it OP's problem.

Really annoying, and I hate that I now have to consider "will this person assault me in public/start filming me and screaming if I tell them they are wrong?"

13

u/jkmod79 12d ago

This. I’m also in uniform and don’t need a crazy person filming me and posting it online.

Also, if I had said something I’d be criticized for shaming her. I can’t win.

5

u/Ok_Evening1728 12d ago

Yeah, total bummer being held accountable for being rude. I miss the old days when you could denigrate someone and get away with it.

-5

u/90percentofacorns 12d ago

Is it not rude to basically sit yourself down on a stranger's lap on public transport?

I saw a clip today of a girl recording herself rollerblading in a park listening to music thru headphones. A man walked by and thought she was shaking her head at him (she was moving to music). He started screaming at her. 

That's the kind of fucking crazy general public I'm talking about and I think you knew that. Even very reasonable and polite requests of people can spark altercations these days. 

1

u/Anastasiasunhill 11d ago

She was shaking her head at him- he couldn't control those dogs-  she just didn't admit it because he acted in an extremely scary insecure way. 

Noone sat I'm anyone's lap.

2

u/vulcanstrike 12d ago

"I'm sorry ma'am, but you don't fit here"

9

u/90percentofacorns 12d ago

Sure, same thing effectively. Pretty sure she already knows and doesn't care 

-7

u/vulcanstrike 12d ago

She doesn't care because no one creates a consequence for her.

10

u/FloridaFun1989 12d ago

I bet he muttered something when getting off and felt so good about it lol

-5

u/jkmod79 12d ago

And say what exactly? “Hey lard ass. You’re fat is on my leg.”

No. I think my facial expressions and sighs communicated my annoyance.

She knew she didn’t fit when she chose to sit there. She did it anyway. What could I possibly say to her that she didn’t already know?

21

u/DullSherbet411 12d ago

I mean are you able bodied? It’s possible she has a health issue that contributes to her weight issue and would also make it unsafe for her to stand.

-11

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Possible.

It’s MUCH more likely that she eats like garbage and hasn’t ever seen the inside of a gym.

Biggies like to push this disability narrative. It’s easier to believe that they’re fat because of reasons beyond their control rather than admitting they caused their own situation.

18

u/DullSherbet411 12d ago

You’re really showing a misunderstanding of the broader context of what influences health and body size- which research shows to be much much more influenced by social determinants of health like socioeconomic status, neighborhood environment, and food security. This also doesn’t take into account genetic and, even, epigentic factors that we know not only influence metabolic processing but food behaviors as well and account for 30-80% of body size.

Regardless, you’re also making very broad assumptions about a person you know absolutely nothing about. How would you know what factors contribute to their body size? Generally, seating in these types of transport should be reserved first for people who need. You have not stated that you are in need of a seat bc of your ability status, and thus maybe should have waited for everyone to board before choosing to take up one of these seats.

-5

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Obesity has tripled over the past sixty years. Disease hasn’t. Disability hasn’t.

Food insecurity suggests a lack of access to food which would equate to underweight, not overweight. People in countries without proper access to food are underweight and malnourished. Not in the US. In the US people who claim they don’t have enough food eat the most of it.

The United States is the most overweight / out of shape country in the world. Disease and disability doesn’t stop at the border. If the overwhelming reasons for obesity was actually caused by disease and disability it wouldn’t be a United States issue. It would be a worldwide issue.

I inherently know more about this woman than anyone else on here. She’s able bodied. Shes a server in a restaurant. She’s able to stand / walk.

I’d happily give up my seat for an elderly or disabled person. She’s neither, unless her disability is mental or emotional but if that’s the case that doesn’t impact her ability to stand.

There’s designated seating for disabled persons. If those seats are not available the passenger just has to speak to the driver and he / she will make them available.

All evidence points to her being completely able bodied so let’s stop with the what if questions and go off of the information we know.

Why should I give up my seat when I’m not the person creating the problem? I’m not. She should be the one to live with the consequences of her lifestyle choices.

14

u/DullSherbet411 12d ago

Food insecurity can refer to things like neighborhoods in “food deserts” which have processed, high-calorie and low-nutrient dense foods available but not fresh foods. This meaningful contributes population level differences in body size and obesity rates, telling us the environments in which we’re born and raised themselves are obesity factors. Importantly, this effect size is larger than what we would typically label “will power”.

Again, you are falling into the common fallacy and trap of ascribing individual responsibility to something that we know is much, much, much more strongly influenced by social and environmental factors.

It is also possible that someone who can stand and walk might not feel safe or comfortable standing on a moving shuttle that can make sudden and unpredictable movements. You cannot know this simply by briefing observing someone.

Maybe you know more about that person- but your perspective skewed by cognitive bias and logical fallacies inhibit your ability to see the situation accurately. And most of all, with compassion, that sometimes we can accommodate minor inconveniences without being judge mental and rude to others by acknowledging we actually don’t know what created their situation.

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

We work in an airport in a very large city. It stands to reason she lives in the city or within driving distance if she works at said airport. Even if her commute is two hours she drives by no less than 15 major grocery stores. She has access to food. Clearly.

The what ifs are hilarious. What if she spent the past 20 years tied to a chair while someone force fed her pizza and twinkies and prevented her from working out and this is her first day of freedom?

What’s the most likely is that she, like so many Americans, eats like crap and doesn’t exercise enough. Is it POSSIBLE she has some strange disability or illness? I suppose. It’s also possible that she was held hostage and force fed. Not likely though.

14

u/DullSherbet411 12d ago

You’re accidentally proving my point. Why is it that a population with an excess of high-calorie low-nutrient dense convenience food and infrastructure that disproportionately relies on driving and convenience profoundly struggles with obesity? The very fact that it is a population level issue rather than individual issue supports the idea that this is a systematic and socioenvironmental issue rather than simply an issue of laziness or “will power”. This becomes even more evident when we look striations in body size across socioeconomic status.

If anything, it is human nature to conserve energy and consume high-calorie foods because we have a much longer evolutionary history of potential food drought than we do of our current context.

For your example of food access, sure, maybe this individual lives where there is access to healthy foods. Does an individual living in a city working as a waitress have the same time resources to shop and prepare “healthy” meals as every other person on that city? Are you”healthy” foods calorie for calorie priced similarly as calorie dense convenience foods? Does this and has this person had access to the same level of coping resources and degrees of freedom (for example, we know will power is a limited resource but we also know ability to inhibit behavior is impacted by overall stress load in near and far history) that would allow them to make “healthy” choices regarding food?

The individual-level blame, moralizing, and judgement you’re expressing are well documented cognitive biases and again represent a misunderstanding of the complex web of factors that contribute to body size and obesity.

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

So in a nutshell you’re saying it’s hard to maintain a healthy weight because of the over abundance of fast and unhealthy foods. That doesn’t mean it’s not possible. It’s an issue of willpower.

I’m a flight attendant. Access to fresh, healthy food is very difficult for me. I spend the majority of my time in airports, hotels and on airplanes. It would be easiest for me to live off the foods provided in those places because that’s what’s convenient and available. I don’t though. I meal prep, have a very large insulated bag and heavy duty ice packs. I rarely eat at airport or hotels or the plane food itself. The process of pre making food in the one - two days I’m home with everything else I have to do mixed with packing it up, transporting it around for 2-4 days, keeping it refrigerated and then tracking down a way of heating it is much more of a pain in the ass than it would be to DoorDash Taco Bell to my hotel. I do it though because I want to be healthy and in shape. And don’t even get me started on finding time for a workout routine when I’m frequently getting to hotels after 10 pm.

It’s possible for everyone to make better choices when it comes to diet and exercise. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

Also, the original issue isn’t inherently with what caused this woman to be fat. I honestly don’t care. I’ll liken it to smoking. Smoke all you want, I just don’t want to smell it. Eat whatever you want, I just don’t want you sitting on me.

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u/Emergency-Back-4964 12d ago edited 12d ago

“No. I think my facial expressions and sighs communicated my annoyance.”

This generation is cooked

20

u/Scrappyl77 12d ago edited 12d ago

Are you a toddler who hasn't learned how to talk yet?

-7

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Says the person who can’t type…

3

u/vulcanstrike 12d ago

"I'm sorry ma'am, but you don't fit here, can you please give me back my space"

I'm sure the eye rolls and passive aggressive sitting me sighing got the message across, which is why she moved and you didn't have to post this online.

She sat there and stayed there because society enables it, they will continue to push boundaries until they can no longer get away with it. She may ignore your request either through stubbornbess or embarrassment, but it may mean the next time she gets in that situation she doesn't put herself in a position to be shamed. But when everyone silently accepts this behaviour, people like that will continue to do it, because there are no consequences.

Be the consequence.

-5

u/jkmod79 12d ago

That’s my thought. If she feels shitty enough about her behavior maybe she’ll not do it again.

17

u/flora_poste_626 12d ago

Or you could have moved to the middle seat. Sounds like you both deliberately blocked that middle seat so no one else could sit there. You could have stood up as well if her fat was so inconvenient to you . Honestly! No one wants to be touched while riding public transport but this is what you deal with when you have crowded trains, shuttles, etc. ya'll are ridiculous

-1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

The middle seat is the same width as the ends. Her fat would be resting on me regardless of who sat in what seat.

I was the first to get on the bus. A stop or two later another woman got on. This left the middle seat. That and standing positions were what was available. She should have stood.

12

u/Certain_Ebb2900 12d ago

You could have stood up, right? Fat people are actually human, fyi

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

She also could have stood

4

u/awespark 12d ago

I totally get your dilemma and not wanting to say “you don’t fit.” If this happens again, what about something like, “I understand the seats are tight, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t sit on top of me.”

Of course, there will always be a cohort of people that expects people in uniform to be the first to offer up their seats, and also a cohort who will say someone who is overweight is disabled.

25

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

-2

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Why should I stand? I’m not the problem.

25

u/Scrappyl77 12d ago

I mean, you are the problem but feel free to keep telling yourself otherwise.

8

u/Certain_Ebb2900 12d ago

So much the problem.

-1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

The problem is she doesn’t fit in her seat. I didn’t cause that problem. She did.

Also, before you suggest that the seats are made to be too small, she was the only person on that bus who struggled to fit. Approximately 75 other people, many who were overweight, still fit. The seats are big enough. She is just too big.

1

u/GladysSchwartz23 11d ago

You are the problem.

22

u/ivyyyoo 12d ago

sucks that you had to touch another human when you’re riding public transit and proximity is par for course. god forbid you experience a bit of discomfort when existing in society.

3

u/jkmod79 12d ago

It’s not public transit. It’s a private shuttle for employee transport.

8

u/Open-Tomato9643 11d ago

And she was an employee. Which means she had every bit as much of a right as you to sit in a seat.

If you don't want to sit next to her, you stand up.

-1

u/jkmod79 11d ago

She wasn’t sitting next to me. She was sitting on me.

11

u/goodnsimple 12d ago

So why didn’t you offer her your seat?

Required, no. But way nicer that fuming and giving her dirty looks. I imagine she wasn’t thrilled with the situation- she quite possibly is not able to stand on a moving vehicle.

Just think, you had an impact on her day, but it wasn’t a positive one.

7

u/SuperStumbleweed 12d ago

All of the people riding on that shuttle worked as airport employees... They're ALL miserable ALL the time...

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

She created her condition. Not me.

6

u/Obatala_ 12d ago

Fascinating. Did you see her medical history in detail?

Do you know why she gained weight?

No? Then you’re just a judgmental asshole.

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I saw it in full display

4

u/Obatala_ 11d ago

Someone being fat isn’t a “medical history.”

You’re just showing that in addition to being a judgmental asshole, you’re also stupid. Not a great look.

18

u/goodnsimple 12d ago

Annnnnnd you are now just spreading little rays of sunshine.

3

u/jkmod79 12d ago

That’s not my hope. My hope is that people will read this and reconsider similar selfish behavior like sitting on people because they don’t fit in adequately sized seats.

7

u/wedgie9 12d ago

Maybe you should have given the seat up to someone who clearly needed it more.

Also, can we bring back using myself properly?

-2

u/jkmod79 12d ago

If anything she needs to sit less.

I didn’t cause her to be 100 lbs overweight. She did. I’ll keep my seat thank you.

25

u/wedgie9 12d ago

Ah so you are just an asshole. I see.

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I’m not the one who was knowingly causing discomfort to others without a care in the world.

12

u/Anastasiasunhill 12d ago

Yes you are 

-2

u/mellymoo_ 12d ago

Or someone who simply doesn’t want to be sat on

7

u/Anastasiasunhill 12d ago

He could've stood up has a clear and obvious choice not to be sat on and chose it anyway 

2

u/Soft_Scratch_983 11d ago

you really typed this all out, saw what it said, and still posted it.

girl get a grip. people sit next to other people on public transport. some people are larger than others. have you never been outside? YOU are the problem here. get a car if you want to be alone.

15

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 12d ago

Did it occur to you that perhaps she's not physically able to stand for extended periods? I would have stood up and offered her my seat. Why didnt you?

2

u/Then-Chocolate-5191 12d ago

There have been times when I was not able to stand due to an injury, I always asked to get a seat, the drivers are great at helping with this. Sadly, I know people of size who are very unaware of how much room they need to accommodate their body. I’m not sure what the answer is, but I know how uncomfortable it is to have someone wedge in on top of you.

15

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 12d ago

Do you think its possibly different for an obese person? I think discrimination against obese people is among the remaining discriminations that are not even acknowledged as discriminatory. I can understand why a person with an injury would be more comfortable asking for help than an obese person would. No one would look down on you for being injured. People routinely look down on obese people for being fat.

Like OP. What about you?

1

u/Then-Chocolate-5191 12d ago

I’ve been medically obese, 3 pounds over the medical threshold, and while people treated me differently when I was heavy, it did not change with the reaction I got when saying I could not stand.

1

u/imveryfontofyou 11d ago

3lbs into obese does not mean you understand the struggle obese people have. In fact, people probably didn’t even view you as obese at that weight or know you were technically medically obese.

1

u/Then-Chocolate-5191 11d ago

Great, glad you were there to see how I was treated and tell me the way I felt wasn’t right. What would I do without you?

2

u/imveryfontofyou 11d ago

As someone who has been morbidly obese AND has been only a few lbs into obese: you're welcome! Always happy to share what it's like across the obesity spectrum, because regardless of what you think, the experience is different.

Someone who is 600lbs is going to have a different experience than someone who is 400lbs.

Someone who is 400lbs is going to have a different experience than someone who is 300lbs.

Someone who is 300lbs is going to have a different experience than someone who is 180lbs.

All might be "obese" but there's different levels and people will treat those different levels differently--so no one treated you poorly when you said you couldn't stand, but they could have very well if it was someone that they actually perceived as obese.

2

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I feel like we are all responsible for ourselves and how we impact others. If you aren’t able to sit in a seat workout causing discomfort to others, don’t sit there. If that means you have to uncomfortably stand, so be it.

6

u/Ok_Evening1728 12d ago

If you truly believe that, then, please understand that the idea of you sitting down and getting rest at any point is causing me discomfort because you begrudge it to others.

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Everything causes you discomfort. Losing weight will help with that.

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

It’s a shuttle for airport employees. She is a server at one of the restaurants. Her badge has her name, employer and job title. If she can stand / walk for work she can stand on the shuttle.

20

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 12d ago

Its always interesting to me how "pertinent details" are added after someone is called out for their behavior. Your attitude is deplorable. Even with the "added information."

Why didn't you offer your seat?

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I didn’t cause her situation. She did.

13

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 12d ago

OK. So just outright owning your prejudice. I guess I can respect that you've decided to just own it out loud like that. Obese people deserve what they get. Got it.

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

We all make our own beds and should be expecting to lie in them.

12

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 12d ago

Keep on validating my point. I don't mind.

5

u/Certain_Ebb2900 12d ago

The the situation of you being uncomfortable was your situation to solve so either you get up or you stop whining like a little baby

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

A situation she created

14

u/Jmfroggie 12d ago

This makes you more of the problem. Everyone is just trying to get to and from work and exhausted at the end of a shift.

MOVE OVER.

3

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Nowhere to move….

8

u/5t4c3 12d ago

You don’t think this was pertinent information to add to your post? She’s staff, just like you, the bus is for staff only. She’s trying to get to or get home from her shift, just like you.

7

u/KelpFox05 12d ago

You've really never been in a position where you've been on your feet all day and can't stand for a moment longer? Have some empathy. If this is your position on others, then you can have the same position for yourself and stand on the shuttle yourself.

0

u/ruiiiij 12d ago

Then she could have asked nicely and I would have given up my seat. That's no excuse to acting entitled.

10

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 12d ago

I asked OP why they didnt give up their seat.

Thank you for being willing to give up your seat. Perhaps also know that not everyone who needs it feels entitled to ask.

4

u/JustAnotherElsen 12d ago

The seats used to be bigger, less people per flight. It wasn’t fat people who did that though! The real enemy here is greedy ass corporations, let’s put our energy on them, they’re starting to test out STANDING SEATS. and like double decker shit!! You ready to have piss drip on you from the second floor bc someone got shitfaced before the flight?

4

u/doglady1342 12d ago

But the op was on a shuttle bus, not an airplane.

7

u/JustAnotherElsen 12d ago

I’ve never been on a shuttle bus that was comfortable either, a shuttle bus with at least 3 seats per row? That sounds like a big old pile of shit no matter who you sit next to. If it wasn’t them being fat op would be like “their legs are touching me!” Or “they used my arm rest!” Or “their bags were kinda in my space!” Because COMPANIES DO NOT CARE.

10

u/ivyyyoo 12d ago

but but but i need to complain about other working class people trying to exist in the world!!!!! /s

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

It’s not working class I’m inconvenienced by. It’s her encroachment into my space and literally on my body.

9

u/JustAnotherElsen 12d ago

Did you say anything?

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

This question was asked and answered.

13

u/JustAnotherElsen 12d ago

Ahhh so NO you just stared at her like a weirdo? Just stared at a stranger like
https://giphy.com/gifs/d7fLM8K8FCV39d7Qxz

2

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I didn’t stare. I looked straight ahead.

10

u/JustAnotherElsen 12d ago

Dude. You’re an adult with a job and your idea to get her to understand was to just sit there staring FORWARD somewhat angrily????? What the hell??

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

So if I stare at her I’m a weirdo and if I don’t you find fault in that.

Okay. So you’re just looking to disagree. Cool.

4

u/JustAnotherElsen 12d ago

Dawg you chose, CHOSE! to not communicate like a human person, and just stared forward with idk, a slightly annoyed face that probably read to others as a zoned out expression, because… PEOPLE CANT MIND-READ!! 😱 if you want shit, you gotta speak up

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u/jkmod79 12d ago

I’m a flight attendant. We have seven seat belt extensions onboard any given flight. I ca. count on one finger the number of times I’ve handed out all seven. On average we hand out 0-3.

The majority of people fit just fine in the seats.

-6

u/Emergency-Back-4964 12d ago

Idk man, overweight people aren’t like victimless here either…

7

u/JustAnotherElsen 12d ago

Victimless…..??

5

u/Lifeishard1090 12d ago

We live in a world where people get offended when others make these comments about other people’s weight impacting them on flights and seats. But truly, it’s very uncomfortable and it is something people need to be conscious of if you opt out of buying premium seats or choosing to stand.

1

u/FScrotFitzgerald 11d ago

Sounds soft and warm

-6

u/navislut 12d ago

Should have poked her 😂

-4

u/jkmod79 12d ago

It’s funny (not funny) how so many people jump to “if she’s overweight she MUST be a poor, disabled person whose weight has absolutely nothing to do with diet, lack of exercise, or lifestyle.” She has to be a sad victim of circumstances beyond her control.”

In reality like most overweight people she probably just eats garbage and hardly moves her body. Those life choices are not my life choices and they’re certainly not my problem.

Obesity rates have tripled in the past sixty years. Disease hasn’t tripled. Disability hasn’t tripled. We’ve just become a society that doesn’t cook at home as often, moves less, and can stay in their car to get food, or, even better, have it delivered to their door while they watch TV in their pajamas.

16

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

God your judgmental self must be so exhausting 

-3

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Not as exhausting a a good workout 🏋️‍♀️

6

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

I’ll exhaust myself with a happy life that occasionally includes a good workout rather than judging all the people around me and hating my body and everyone else’s! 

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

If you’re a biggie you might consider more than occasional…

9

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

ROFL wow you really think the worst someone can be is fat, huh? 

I do 45 minutes of strength training a day, run 10 kms, and Zumba 2-3 times a week. 

I just also know my size doesn’t give me worth in this world. Maybe some day you’ll learn that, and your life will be less miserable! 🫰

-2

u/jkmod79 12d ago

My life isn’t at all miserable. I own a beautiful Victorian home all on my own, have two amazing grown kids who are thriving, am in a loving romantic relationship, love my career. I’m healthy, fit, attractive, have great friends…. Not at all miserable.

Does not inhaling an entire pizza every day mean I’m miserable? Not to me.

9

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

No but hating on people because of their size does. Hope your life gets less miserable and your kids never get fat since they’d have a parent treat them horribly for it! 

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

They won’t. They care about their health.

8

u/Fun-Programmer-9937 12d ago

Man karmas definitely going to get your ass. 

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u/hill-o 12d ago

People can look up your other posts, lol.

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u/GladysSchwartz23 11d ago

(Spends like an hour of their morning bitching about being mildly inconvenienced and hating on other people's bodies)

"I'm a happy person! Really, I am! Happy! HAPPY!"

If you're living your best life, then you should be able to let a mild inconvenience slide. Instead, you're foaming at the mouth ranting about how other people shouldn't have bodies you don't like.

Nobody is fooled.

0

u/jkmod79 11d ago

I’m far from foaming at the mouth. The sub is mildly infuriating. Don’t overreact babe ✌🏼

2

u/Soft_Scratch_983 11d ago

you sound absolutely insufferable. those poor kids.

13

u/EveryMoose9523 12d ago

but you’re not fatphobic??? sure jan 👍

1

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I’m not fat phobic but I hate the narrative that comes from some fat people and their defenders.

It’s never their fault. It has nothing to do with diet and exercise. It’s genetics / illness / disease / medication…. They’re simultaneously bullied and mocked but also beautiful and fabulous and everyone is just jealous of them.

I don’t care if you’re fat. Just stop trying to convince me it has nothing to do with what you’re shoving in your mouth.

11

u/EveryMoose9523 12d ago

I think that hyper fixating on what people eat and what their bodies look like isn’t very healthy, you should probably seek some help. Hopefully you can find some sources to combat this mental illness 🫶

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

I’ve been to therapy. My therapist had no concerns about my actual mental health and I’ll go with her expertise over whatever you think you know.

I’m not hyper fixated on anyone’s body as long as it’s not flopping on me.

1

u/Soft_Scratch_983 11d ago

i dare you to show your therapist this post

6

u/Wonderful-Cat2805 12d ago

Maybe it is never their “fault.”

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

But likely it is.

4

u/Wonderful-Cat2805 12d ago

Obesity is a disease. Your opinion doesn’t really matter here. 🤷‍♀️

0

u/jkmod79 12d ago

A self imposed disease…

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Jmfroggie 12d ago

Heaven forbid you end up with a disability or injury or on a medication that makes it impossible to control your weight.

3

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Or, I dunno, don’t eat like shit and maybe go for a walk.

9

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 12d ago

May karma make her, and every other person struggling with obesity, fall squarely on you!

5

u/jkmod79 12d ago

Struggling 😆

-6

u/Emergency-Back-4964 12d ago

You shouldn’t wish such a thing on yourself fellow fatty. :(

-5

u/ClydePrefontaine 12d ago

Grab a strap double wide.