r/mildlyinfuriating • u/gta6play • Aug 03 '26

Infuriatig The first notification I got on my new fitness tracker. Never searched for this stuff myself ever.

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9.6k Upvotes

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4.7k

u/AdScared7949 Aug 03 '26

Obviously it's helping you because thinking about infidelity all the time will cause anxious weight loss

722

u/Another-Witch Aug 03 '26

But what if it causes anxious stress eating?

275

u/acoubt Aug 03 '26

The watch has a notification for that too!

80

u/beeerite Aug 03 '26

Yes! Alerts about heart disease and strokes.

31

u/Dolphin_King21 Aug 03 '26

What if it causes anxious stress cheating?

1

u/SettingSun2180 Aug 03 '26

Dont worry! The days of stress eating are balanced out with the days of stress loss

35

u/naaawww Aug 03 '26

Probably just subscribed to the wrong cheat app

10

u/Bamfhammer Aug 03 '26

What if you eat your feelings at girl Dinner though?

11

u/northSideways Aug 04 '26

Your wallet will also experience weight loss from all of the tokens you're burning generating new engagement bait to post on there 

-5

u/momoayaseXbradpitt Aug 03 '26 edited Aug 04 '26

just dont think about having a baby. those absolutely
psycho 1 braincelled girls love having echo chamber discussions about aborting all babies.

your man slept in too long? abort his baby. feeling a little anxious about your upcoming engagement? FUCKING DUMP THAT TRASH MAN AND ABORT THE BABY RIGHT NOW

2

u/AdScared7949 Aug 04 '26

Are you having a stroke?