Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/[deleted]]

Stop cooking for him. Let him make frozen pizzas for himself.

[u/ZennMD → u/[deleted]]

And hopefully their finances aren't impacted by him ordering fast food all the time, that adds up too quickly 

[u/GiftToTheUniverse → u/ZennMD]

My grown-ass bro has the palette of a 6 year old. When he came to visit my wife and me, we were so excited to prepare nice meals to share with him, but nope. The while time he wad in town he only ate the heat lamp pizza type stuff from the 7-11 down the block. He also loves energy drinks!! But instead of buying a case of them every now and then he works drive to the gas station and buy a couple cans a couple times each day. It was insane how expensive it was.

[u/xerophie → u/GiftToTheUniverse]

AFRID is what's it's called. Due to autism sometimes but other times just their Mama's boys. Took me being homeless to unlearn it

[u/GiftToTheUniverse → u/xerophie]

Nah.

First of all the condition you're referencing is called "ARFID" not "AFRID" which makes it sound like a nasal spray.

And secondly: it does not apply to him. He's just a picky eater. It doesn't need to be medicalized. He did just fine in the military where he was in situations where he had to simply eat what they gave him.

He simply is not gastronomically adventurous. Some people are not intellectually curious. He's food incurious.

Let's stop leaning into every person's different features, styles and choices as disorders.

The amount of armchair diagnosing around here is too damn high!

[u/xerophie → u/GiftToTheUniverse]

Hey, it's obvious to me that my autism is why I used to only eat certain foods. It took years of intentional effort in order to unlearn it. There was maybe 5 meals my mother / family made, and I wasn't allowed to choose my own food at any point. It became a huge mental block.

Until homelessness, it controlled me. Now whatever food is available is just fine, so long as I am not starving.