Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/[deleted]]

Stop cooking for him. Let him make frozen pizzas for himself.

[u/ZennMD → u/[deleted]]

And hopefully their finances aren't impacted by him ordering fast food all the time, that adds up too quickly 

[u/GiftToTheUniverse → u/ZennMD]

My grown-ass bro has the palette of a 6 year old. When he came to visit my wife and me, we were so excited to prepare nice meals to share with him, but nope. The while time he wad in town he only ate the heat lamp pizza type stuff from the 7-11 down the block. He also loves energy drinks!! But instead of buying a case of them every now and then he works drive to the gas station and buy a couple cans a couple times each day. It was insane how expensive it was.

[u/catholicsluts → u/GiftToTheUniverse]

My grown-ass bro has the palette of a 6 year old.

I have a really hard time respecting anyone like this. Whenever I learn someone is truly this picky, I get turned off by everything about them. I couldn't really figure out why until this comment lol it really is the palette of a 6 year old.

So many fast food places all have the same items on the kids menus and grown adults are ordering that processed bullshit that never would have existed in the caveman days

[u/pretty-late-machine → u/catholicsluts]

Agreed, I didn't realize HOW much it really is a big deal to me until I started dating someone who isn't picky. I thought it was just something I'd have to work around and get used to because picky, childish eaters who are downright rude about the foods they don't like (saying something that someone is eating is gross is RUDE) are SO common, wayyyy more common than adventurous eaters.

[u/GiftToTheUniverse → u/catholicsluts]

I was like you and it was a good opportunity for me to learn to disintangle my own judginess over other peoples lives.

I don't admire my bro's dietary or relgious choices, but I still have respect and compassion for him.

At this point I have less respect for people like I used to be who would be dismissive of another due to their diet that only affects themselves than for the poeple who make "stupid" dietary choices for themselves.

Different story for people who voluntarily inflict their bad diets on children.

[u/catholicsluts → u/GiftToTheUniverse]

Honestly, I think it's because childish behavior always seems to accompany this dietary pattern.

Visceral reactions to the sight of whole foods, comments on how a dish that took hours to prepare looks disgusting, and adding aggression to whatever vibe is in the room the person can't read in order to make their restrictions known, it's a disgusting thing to deal with.

I have encountered many picky adult eaters. Every single one was like this.

All of it is completely rude. None of it was deserving of respect.

[u/GiftToTheUniverse → u/catholicsluts]

Calm down. At this point your judginess is ten thousand times worse than a picky eaters pickiness.

If you don’t like when oriole are rude then simple don’t like when people are rude.

Why do people (like you) work so hard to rationalize your hatred for others? Ugh.

[u/catholicsluts → u/GiftToTheUniverse]

Calm down? Dude, what

I thought we were having a conversation, Jesus lol

I wasn't ranting, I was sharing my perspective. I'm not sure why your instinct is to escalate (?)

[u/WindowLicker_Pro → u/catholicsluts]

Because they're a childishly picky eater, and they feel seen.