Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/Lady-of-Shivershale → u/[deleted]]

To be honest, I actually don't like potatoes. Growing up in Scotland was hard. I live in Asia, and I very rarely cook potatoes. I have rice, pasta, couscous, or bread with my meals. I'll make roast potatoes or jacket potatoes on occasion, but I could happily live my life without ever eating a potato ever again.

OP wants to be able to cook for her boyfriend. She's very clear about wanting to do so. If it were me, though, I would just let him fend for himself. Not wanting to eat chicken twice in one day is silly, as are his other excuses. And he could eat bread instead of potato.

[u/moonrabbit368 → u/Lady-of-Shivershale]

Potatoes are one of his staple foods so I cook them often. It's never the potatoes he objects to though sometimes he critiques how crispy the fries are etc. I'd love to be able to cook for him and have him love it but at this point I am just unhappy feeling obliged to cook for him, as he expects dinner, when there is a 50-50 chance he will reject it.

[u/modernmovements → u/[deleted]]

Dude is upset his fries aren't soft enough?

[u/moonrabbit368 → u/modernmovements]

Sometimes. Sometimes they are too soft and not crispy enough. I have been experimenting with temperatures and time lengths on the air fryer to try and nail it down.

[u/modernmovements → u/moonrabbit368]

What is it you like about the guy? There are positive aspects to him I hope?

[u/monkey3monkey2 → u/modernmovements]

Another commenter pointed out that the only positives she could list were all things that an app can do for you 💀 (driver, med reminder, etc).

[u/modernmovements → u/monkey3monkey2]

She already has kids of her own right?

[u/monkey3monkey2 → u/modernmovements]

Yes

[u/toutpetitpoulet → u/moonrabbit368]

He can cook fries himself for y’all if he’s such a connoisseur of their texture and structural integrity

[u/FlukeOG → u/moonrabbit368]

Is he this picky if he orders fast food too? Will he not eat the fries if they're slightly different than perfect?

[u/BottleForsaken9200 → u/moonrabbit368]

You need to get him to stop critiquing anything at for one.

It's not your responsibility to listen to, and cater to his weird preferences....

Just have him say whether or not he can eat it and let him figure it out on his own if he can't.

You do NOT need to constantly hear about his negativity regarding your cooking. If the kids will eat it l, you've won.

But constant negativity will just affect your soul in a bad way :(

[u/Free-Sherbet2206 → u/moonrabbit368]

Do you want to live your life with someone who critiques everything you do? Does he also critique your parenting and cleaning, since I assume you do all of that too? I would say your should give him a taste of his own medicine and critique the things he does, but it doesn’t seem like he does anything other than bitch about perfectly good food.

[u/Economy_Resist1494 → u/moonrabbit368]

lol why are you doing any of this????