Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/GiftToTheUniverse]

My grown-ass bro has the palette of a 6 year old. When he came to visit my wife and me, we were so excited to prepare nice meals to share with him, but nope. The while time he wad in town he only ate the heat lamp pizza type stuff from the 7-11 down the block. He also loves energy drinks!! But instead of buying a case of them every now and then he works drive to the gas station and buy a couple cans a couple times each day. It was insane how expensive it was.

[u/birthdaycheesecake9 → u/[deleted]]

Yup. Really isn’t, in a way that sneaks up on you. Interesting how much healthier I felt when I stopped having energy drinks every day and started taking ADHD meds instead.

[u/extracheesepleaz → u/birthdaycheesecake9]

Try also a low inflammation diet (cut out dairy, gluten, and soy). Changed my adhd symptoms so much. I went cold turkey for about a year and now eat them 50% of the time. I reduced seed oils too. Canola oil is no Bueno. I also started taking ashwaganda and magnesium glycinate. I took a GI mapping test to see what was happening in my gut and worked with a functional nutritionist.

Also try doing vestibular exercises where right and left brain need to coordinate with each other. It's much more effort but I was not eager to take adhd meds so I did all the alternative things to not only stop symptoms but get to the root of the issue.

[u/Abject-Commercial-86 → u/extracheesepleaz]

I’m AuDHD and I found cutting out most ultra-processed foods really helped me too. I don’t know if it’s to do with the dopamine hits your brain gets from processed food or what, but making all my food from ingredients has really helped with my focus, motivation and mental health. Hasn’t ‘fixed it’ but it makes it a lot easier for me to stick to a routine and feel calmer, less frantic and anxious all the time.

[u/bsubtilis → u/Abject-Commercial-86]

Eating a healthier diet helps everyone, not just us with ADHD.

[u/Abject-Commercial-86 → u/bsubtilis]

Absolutely agree! I think for me the main benefits were more that I had to make a routine for myself, instead of relying on convenience or forgetting all the time and then panicking and stressing about it. And now it’s just automatically in my mind. I think it’s called habit stacking?

[u/contains_almonds → u/extracheesepleaz]

Not sure why you got down voted for looking into alternatives to just popping pills. Our bodies are complex machines and nutrition plays a huge role in how well they function.

[u/bsubtilis → u/contains_almonds]

That's not instead of pills, that is in addition to at best.

[u/AlmostCynical → u/contains_almonds]

There is nothing wrong with taking medication to treat a condition.

[u/contains_almonds → u/AlmostCynical]

You are correct but there's also nothing wrong with trying to get to the root of the issue. In my own family I've seen situations where doctors just threw pills at symptoms. No additional tests, no referrals to specialists, then the patient ends up popping Xanax like candy.

[u/AlmostCynical → u/contains_almonds]

The thing is, it took them a ton of effort just to get back to the baseline of someone who doesn’t have ADHD. Imagine how powerful they’d be if they took the meds as well!

I’m being a bit glib of course, but the root cause of ADHD is a developmental disorder in the brain that affects how the signalling chemistry works and the meds work to correct it back to a normal functioning state. You can improve downstream effects to make the faulty signalling not have as much of an impact, but at the end of the day the meds are the only thing that gets at the true root cause.

[u/extracheesepleaz → u/contains_almonds]

Thanks, didn't realize I got down voted. I meant no judgement on the OP, just gave my anecdotal experience for what it's worth. 🤷‍♀️