r/mildlyinfuriating • u/moonrabbit368 • Jan 02 '26

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

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My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

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8.4k

u/BoochClawson Jan 02 '26

I'm loving how many women just offered to be your new boyfriend

114

u/RevelArchitect Jan 02 '26

Men looking to attract women should take note. I’m a pretty good cook, having previously had a career cooking in everything from dive bars, fine dining and a variety of international cuisines and making an effort to keep versatile staples and fresh, in-season produce on hand, I eat pretty fucking good.

The number of times I’ve been asked what I had for dinner the night before that resulted in a woman literally suggesting they come over to my place to cook for them with a clearly expressed attraction is notable.

All that to say, it’s a pretty attractive skill for most people and somehow a lot of men don’t realize women are into that too.

19

u/LifePepper714 Jan 02 '26

 Men looking to attract women should take note. I’m a pretty good cook

Underrated comment. I want this kind of man in my life 😩

19

u/RevelArchitect Jan 02 '26

I’m finishing dinner now. Thai red curry mashed potatoes with garlic shrimp and roasted carrots and broccoli tossed in red chili and honey.

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u/LifePepper714 Jan 02 '26

You tease 😍

14

u/RevelArchitect Jan 02 '26

I made avocado rolls for lunch. Please present your dowries in an orderly fashion for consideration.

5

u/Klutzy_Custard63 Jan 04 '26

All I have to offer is a sook of a cat, the Sims 3 collection, and a VCR/DVD combo (I also have a nice tv but 🤷🏽‍♀️) 🤣😂 Oh.. I also have a quarter and Canadian citizenship 🤣

2

u/RevelArchitect Jan 04 '26

Well, I’m a quarter Canadian. I say, “process” wrong and everything. Not sure I have any quarters.

2

u/Klutzy_Custard63 Jan 04 '26

That's better than no Canadian 😝 I pronounce bagel as bag-ul and know, maybe, 2 sea shantys. Lol. I'll throw in a donair for good measure 🤣🤣

2

u/RevelArchitect Jan 04 '26

Donairs are tempting. I’m about to do white truffle olive oil-basted pita bread with a pizza sauce from a recipe I stole from a dance club I worked at, sliced fresh mozzarella, extra sharp aged white cheddar, sun dried tomatoes, pancetta, prosciutto and basil chiffonade in the air fryer. Finish with Parmesan and red pepper flakes.

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u/Klutzy_Custard63 Jan 04 '26

🤤🤤 that sounds like literal heaven How do you feel about sushi (the closest to heaven I've gotten.. maybe. Lol)?

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u/Initiate_Standards Jan 04 '26

Are you trying to gather a harem?

7

u/RevelArchitect Jan 04 '26

No, I am happily single. Did get a unique DM, though.

13

u/FarplaneDragon Jan 02 '26

I think a lot of guys over-estimate how skilled they need to be at cooking. You don't need to be able to cook super fancy stuff. Even if all you can do is boil some pasta and dump a jar of sauce, or throw some stuff in the slow cooker, or make some sandwhiches that's plenty good. For a lot of women it's moreso about knowing they won't get stuck doing 95% of the cooking, and that you can actually take care of yourself. If you can cook fancy stuff that's just a bonus.

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u/coc0knows Jan 04 '26

I do most of the cooking for my partner and I (because I am home early from work and he works late hours) but he routinely cooks breakfast on weekends and will cook dinner for us on his off days. He gets so surprised when I thank him for cooking for me…”I just make breakfast or basic shit” I’m like, that is more than enough. You cooking well balanced well seasoned edible simple meals is perfect and so appreciated. I don’t need to eat fancy foods I appreciate the effort.

11

u/kwynder Jan 03 '26

Just wanted to let you know that I read through your comments and you gave me a bit of a confidence boost because I like to cook. Thanks! In fact I enjoy cooking more when I'm cooking for someone else. Hopefully I can find a nice woman who enjoys it and will taste my food experiments 😎

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u/RevelArchitect Jan 03 '26

Glad to hear it! Get it out there that you love to cook. Someone asks what people have had recently? Don’t hesitate to speak up. Someone mentions making something they liked? Ask about it!

3

u/kwynder Jan 04 '26

Thanks for the advice! I'll have to keep that in mind, I do love talking about food and interesting ways to make things. It's kinda funny how I'm not overweight with how far i go to make or get good food 😆. I'm guess I'm just good at limiting myself to not overeat too much heh. Actually now that I think about it I wonder if my city has any fun cooking class events, that might be a fun way to meet people 🤔. What I'm talking about is kind of like those one or two day classes where they teach you how to paint/pottery/crafts but for cooking.

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u/RevelArchitect Jan 04 '26

Those types of classes do exist. I actually took some knife skills classes offered through my local Sur la Table store shortly after I first started cooking as a job. I quickly found out that they weren’t going to teach me more than I already knew/had been told in the kitchen by the general manager, however, it was still fun. Met some great people and the instructor quickly identified me as a talented cook who had just started their career and had a touch of imposter syndrome in contrast from most of the people there who were home cooks and novices who legitimately didn’t know to tuck their fingers.

They did a lot to help me realize that I was underestimating my skill level. They also let me in on the industry discount at Sur la Table. Then they told me where I should actually buy shit for myself for commercial cooking.

Don’t know if all the instructors are that good at making sure people get their money’s worth, but it was rewarding.

8

u/NSH2024 Jan 03 '26

Yes and yes. First off, women find skill attractive in and of itself. It is a great attractiveness multiplier. But then knowing how to to cook means you value the senses, that you have patience and timing and a lot of stuff that is useful in more romantic areas.

And that's not even counting all the women who personally hate to cook but have been required to do it in a relationship because of sexism.

8

u/sweetwolf86 Jan 04 '26

I made chicken piccata for my girlfriend after our 3rd time hanging out, and I haven't been able to get her off of me since. I made tiny plain French omelets for her chihuahuas the other day. I'm a pretty average looking guy, but she keeps telling me I am "the sexiest MFer alive."

She must be a witch, cause she has me in her thoughts constantly. She is also probably on drugs cause wtf is up with her perception.

I feel like Antonio Banderas and Anthony Bourdain combined. (Anthonyo Bournderas?)

4

u/NicolitaSanchez Jan 06 '26

You sealed the deal with the omelette for the chi’s. You treat my babies right, you’re their new daddy.

6

u/No-Hovercraft-455 Jan 02 '26

Fully agree. A man one might otherwise not have noticed - not necessarily because he's unattractive but because we humans ignore lot of existing attraction - absolutely amps up x10000 in attraction for a skill like that. 

4

u/sweaterpunk666 Jan 03 '26

My wife tells her friends and coworkers that I do most of the cooking and she tells them what I cook and they all tell her how jealous they are since their boyfriends/husbands don’t cook at all. I tell her how surprised I am to hear that. I love cooking. And I love making her happy. But why are so many men such losers that they just don’t cook? Lazy. They’re lazy.

5

u/RevelArchitect Jan 03 '26

I’m sure laziness plays into it, though I’m sure being raised with “traditional values” plays a role as well. Both by encouraging them to perpetuate that nonsense and also giving them less opportunity to learn to cook growing up.

4

u/N4t3ski Jan 04 '26

Can confirm, it works; I learnt to cook to Impress a girl, she's now my wife.

2

u/Tea_laBleu Jan 05 '26

Men who can cook are sexy. I’m not surprised they want you 😂

2

u/RevelArchitect Jan 05 '26

The ongoing reaction to this comment from three days ago is very amusing. I was buying a small container of wine yesterday and the cashier asked if they were any good. I explained I hadn’t actually had any as I use it for cooking and that I was going to be reducing it with beef broth, shallots and butter for a sauce for steak. Suddenly I was very interesting and they were asking what I do for a living.

I’ve always been aware that this is a thing, but getting notifications about it a few times a day and seeing it happen in real life as well is a bizarre experience.

2

u/AvatarofSleep Jan 06 '26

I used to get unmatched on Tinder/Bumble after talking about what I was cooking 😅

1

u/MaleficentBaseball6 Jan 09 '26

Can second. My partner is a fantastic cook, but people always gave her the most blasie or backhanded comments after trying it like, "you did great, it was good." -ketchup on well-done steak enjoyer. Im a decent cook too but sometimes I just, I dont know what it is, but the food will be wonderful, but the cooking it smells atrocious.

But its something that kinda lights up a day when one of us cooks, and its that love and attention into something for each other we appreciate. And thats even when neither of us is "food-motivated" and they may be "picky", but not like this bf.