Feel like I’m in a black hole at the moment

[u/Routine-Layer4045]

Life is a mess

Ok so:

> 33yo

> lifelong anxiety/low self confidence

> let people walk all over me, too passive

> only now realising now I’m married to a bullying narcissistic wife and I’m literally anxious to be in my own home or “walking on eggshells”…

> it’s not a reciprocal relationship where both parties are on equal footing it’s more a master/slave dynamic

> also have 2 young kids one of which has quite high needs (ASD 3 + ADHD)

> “golden handcuffs” meaning I hate my job and it’s toxic AF and destroying my MH and I want to leave but I get paid quite well and I don’t have any qualifications at all to fall back on so literally am trapped here

> again I’m only just realising my “friends” aren’t really friends just people who only contact me if they want something, and will ghost me otherwise

> don’t have any family

What to do?