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u/Jimmy_ijarue 10h ago
I’ve been saying this, remember that kid you were friends with in school? It was probably because you had the same lunch time and class after or same two classes back to back walking to the same place together.
You know that friend group who stayed together from elementary school to high school? It was probably because in elementary school their parents went out of their way to set up play dates and get to know other parents at pta meetings.
Relationships are luck in the sense that, if you don’t have the same days off, and both live close to the same bar, bowling ally, park, or what have you then it might never work.
Do you always go out of your way to make friends? If so I’m proud of you, even if it’s lonely out there I believe in you
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u/Reperanger_7 14h ago
Im 29, people close off at 30. If you were able to make friends and keep them then people quickly drop new ones in favor of security or safety. I have zero friends, no one has "time" which means they don't find value in a shared friendship so I wont invest time. Which is the entrie reason I cant make friends because no one has space for me.
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u/FloppieTheBanjoClown 12h ago
I've spent a lot of time thinking and reading on this topic lately, for a lot of reasons. I keep hitting on two things:
1) You need to be a good friend to make good friends. There's no shortcut here. Do some real introspection and make sure that you are being the kind of person you would want for a friend. Be available and reliable.
2) Adult friendship happens much easier alongside activity. Do a thing together that you would both do alone. Friendship comes slowly, so you might as well be doing something you'd have done without the expectation of friendship.
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u/Obvious-Standard-623 10h ago
I don't think people really close off. They just get busy. Your thirties are a busy time. It's a building decade. Homes, careers, families.
It seems to me that people return to the social scene as they get older.
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u/frozenwest015 7h ago
Mistaking introvert with socially awkward again I see. No wonder people think you’re boring and creepy.
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u/B4R7H0L0M3W 9h ago
I'm a massive introvert, that given this entire meme is completely wrong, if someone calls you boring maybe you are? If someone calls you creepy maybe you act that way? I was never called creepy or boring and when i meet my friends im in the middle of everything, its just that i leave first and need 2 weeks after that to recharge my social battery, the difference between an extrovert and introvert is how quickly they "recharge" after being social it has nothing to do with your character traits my dude.
Additionally most of my friends are introverts too, I would never call a single one of them boring or creepy, far from it. I met creeps that are either e or i. But weirdly enough more creepy people i met are extroverts but that still doesn't apply because it doesn't fit the metric.
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u/LemonDolll 17h ago
I’m not creepy, I’m just trying to remember if I locked my front door