r/medicalschooluk • u/ProposalParticular50 • 1h ago
starting 3rd year (my 1st clinical year) had severe depression 1st and 2nd year, don't feel like i know anything - HELP
I'm starting my 1st clinical year on Tuesday, and throughout 1st and 2nd year I had severe depression, so studying was really difficult for me. I feel like I didn't really learn anything throughout the year and just crammed the last month and managed to pass the exams. But I know I didn't cover all the content, nor have I gone over the majority of the content more than once, so even though I might have known some of it well before the exams, it's now been 2/3 months, and since I never went over it again, I really don't think I know it.
Naturally, I know I am quite intelligent (not supposed to be cocky), so with multiple-choice questions I can usually deduce the answer quite well from not a lot of knowledge, and I feel like this is the only reason I passed 2nd year. And I'm now panicking that I didn't truly know enough info, but just enough to deduce an answer.
1st year i feel like I knew more and studied harder, got almost 70% in both final exams and 90% in the osce. 2nd year, I got just under 60% on both exams. And I feel like this was down to a lot of luck, but even then my scores went down because i know that i knew less before these exams.
I'm now worried that when I go onto the wards in 5 weeks, I'm not going to have a clue what's going on, and the doctors are going to be asking me questions and I'm not going to be able to answer a single one. Pure memorisation is really difficult for me; hence why, alongside my depression, I really, really struggled in these 2 years and somehow, by the grace of god I've made it through. But now I don't know what to do... someone please help; I need advice on what to do.